The Art Of Conversation: How To Come Up With Cute Things To Say To Your Crush
Speaking to your crush can be a daunting activity. You might find yourself creating a list of items to talk to your crush about and working tirelessly to cast a surreptitious glance down at your palm to make sure you stay on topic. You might also find yourself relying on your vast repertoire of pop culture references to appear witty and topical in the presence of the person you are interested in but feeling as though you come up short.
When you like someone new, countless insecurities can rise to the fore, and it may feel as though you will never quite regain your footing and have a meaningful conversation to offer. The art of conversation can be simple, though, and coming up with sweet things to say to your crush does not have to be a painful or seemingly impossible exercise.
What to say to your crush
Talking to a love interest is often as simple as discovering what they like. Although conversation can initially seem difficult, the conversation is essentially a game of giving and taking. Finding out what to give is usually the most difficult part of the equation. When looking for things to talk about, there are a few simple things to consider. These are:
1) What is your crush interested in?
One of the best ways to get your crush excited about talking to you is to figure out what they like. You can ask about your crush's hobbies, favorite musicians, favorite TV shows, or favorite books and use these as simple and easy points of discussion. Talking to your crush about something they are interested in can help keep the conversation from growing stilted or uncomfortable, can keep them interested, and may prompt deeper discussions.
2) What are some current events to fall back on?
Current events are a great way to come up with solid topics of conversation. Reading newspapers, whether online or in print, can be a simple and effective way to stay abreast of what's going on in the world and can provide a great way for you to not only engage your crush in conversation but can also be a way for you to gauge how compatible the two of you are, in terms of your worldviews and belief systems.
3) What are you passionate about?
Don't forget to talk about you! Although you should always make a habit of practicing excellent listening skills, and it is certainly a skill worth learning to know how and when to ask questions about someone else, your crush needs to get to know you, too. Talk to your crush about things you are passionate about so that they can also get a good feel for who you are and what you care about. In any relationship, both parties need to have equal opportunity to get to know one another and get a true feel for who the other person is.
4) What do the two of you have in common?
Perhaps you met your crush through mutual friends while you were rock climbing. Maybe you first encountered your crush while perusing your favorite bookstore. Whatever the case may be, if you have an idea of a common interest, belief, or background trait shared between you and your crush, that provides a wonderful way to strike up a conversation.
Ultimately, when talking to your crush, the goal is to capture your crush's interest, get to know one another, and see if there is a connection between the two of you. Any conversation between the two of you that fulfills this purpose is bound to be a useful, helpful exercise.
How to talk to your crush
There are many ways to talk to your crush, and how you speak to them can influence how you come up with new things to say and new topics to discuss. These methods of speaking include:
1) Face-to-face interactions
Speaking to your crush face-to-face is likely to be the most nerve-wracking form of interaction, as it allows for the least amount of preparation and requires the greatest amount of thinking on your feet. Speaking face-to-face, though, may also offer the best rewards: you get to see your crush, spend time in their presence, enjoy (ideally) mutual attraction, and base your speech and interaction on the feedback and cues received from one another. Face-to-face communication usually involves the greatest amount of intimacy and bonding, and it is important to note, one of the most important factors in attraction is simple proximity.
2) Texting
Texting can be a more relaxed way to communicate with your crush. Thinking of cute text messages to send your crush to keep them interested might seem difficult, or you might struggle to adequately convey or comprehend the text's tone. This is where punctuation and other aids, such as emojis, often come into play: using different types of punctuation dashes, commas, ellipses, semicolons, and the like can all adequately and accurately convey the tone you wish to, as can emojis and GIFs.
3) Calling
Although some might see calling as too old school to be useful or too awkward to be tolerable, talking on the phone allows you to hear someone's tone and inflection without the commitment of actually going out together or meeting somewhere. Calling your crush on the phone allows the two of you to talk and connect while remaining firmly ensconced in your comfort zones, whether that means talking in your living room, in your bed, or a bubble bath with your favorite essential oils.
4) Social media interactions
Social media interaction can provide the same barrier that texting offers, with the added feature of commenting on something that has already happened. While a text requires that you either respond to something your crush has said or come up with something entirely new, social media allows you to use a jumping-off point via someone's post, photo, or video.
Which form of communication is best?
If your goal is to come up with cute things to tell your crush, texting and social media might be your best bet; both avenues allow you to spend time crafting your ideal response rather than having to come up with something clever or interesting on the fly. When coming up with things to text your crush, you can control your interaction's flow, duration, and pace, which allows you plenty of time to come up with witty, meaningful, or interesting conversation topics or responses. Speaking directly to someone or talking on the phone, you are not given the same level of grace, though some prefer the increased intimacy and connection that can be fostered by these types of communication.
Social media, too, allows you to have more control over your responses, though your crush may be able to see whether or not you are active or online, and this could put something of a damper on a conversation; after all, if you are visibly online, but taking twenty minutes to respond to a simple DM, your crush might wonder if they are not worth your time, or are not considered a priority.
Ask a therapist for dating advice
While it can certainly be tempting to appear perpetually clever and on top of a conversation, there will (ideally) come a day when you and your crush are engaged in conversation that does not hinge on how clever, cute, or entertaining you are. Although it is reasonable and understandable to try to appear this way to a new flame, make sure you are making plenty of room for normal conversation, as well, as these are the types of conversations that you and your crush will engage in if you begin a relationship.
If speaking to someone you are attracted to feels impossible or elicits an emotional or anxiety-ridden response powerful enough to trigger a racing heart and intense discomfort, you may be experiencing anxiety or an anxiety disorder. While everyone feels some amount of trepidation at the prospect of speaking to their crush, it is not typically debilitating or frightening to the point of overwhelm or tears. If you find that talking to your crush seems disproportionately frightening, painful, or overwhelming, you may want to speak with a therapist, such as those available on Regain.us. A therapist can help you develop healthy coping and communication strategies, which can help you feel safer and more comfortable engaging with your crush.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What should I say to my crush over text?
If you are wondering how to start a conversation with a guy, there are many opportunities throughout the day to text your crush. You can send them little cute things about your day or simply ask how their day is going. If you find something funny or come across something that makes you think of them, maybe a photo and remind them you’re thinking about them. You can also add a leading question to get the conversation moving if you want to engage in a back-and-forth conversation.
When things are new, you may feel nervous to start a conversation. No one wants to seem too eager! That’s normal. But, if you feel there is a mutual attraction, there is a good chance the other person is hung up feeling the same way, and any conversation is likely better than no conversation at all. Initiating is a good way to remind your crush that you’re interested. Also, you can know quickly if the relationship will develop or dissipate based on their responses.
You can also bring up things that you have an interest in. Talking about things you can relate to opens up the conversation channels and reminds your crush that you’re potentially compatible. You can also certain current events that could be little conversation starters, such as something happening in your city, politics, or important and interesting events.
How do you flirt with your crush over text?
Flirting via text can be daunting at first. But, if things go right, it can also be pretty fun!
Don’t worry too much or overthink it. Things should start getting easier after a while, once the attraction grows and there is more reciprocal back and forth. Often people worry about how they are coming across, and texting can leave a lot of room for ambiguity and miscommunication. If you want to flirt, try to be genuine, sweet, and fun. You can send them little jokes, memes that you think they might like, a song you like, or pictures of things you come across that are interesting in your day. You can send selfies of you doing cute things to keep them interested in you.
You can also send them sweet emojis when you text; that way, they can be certain your tone is friendly with a mix of flirty; don’t overdo it, though. An emoji for every couple of words isn’t exactly a conversation anymore. Some light teasing or inside jokes might be received well as flirty, but it’s best to be forthcoming about what you like about them so they can feel good and not potentially misinterpret any playfulness.
How do you compliment your crush?
Try telling them what you like about them. You can compliment them on their looks, such as saying you like their hair, or smile, or something they’re wearing. You can also make them feel good about the work they’re doing, their passions, or quirky things about their personality. Some of the best compliments that nurture a real connection are based on character and are specific to an action.
For example, you can tell someone you really appreciate their work and say, “I can tell you have a good heart because of the way you connect with people at work,” or “you seem like a really genuine person because you care so much about your family.” These resonate more and give someone the sense that they're truly being seen for who they are and appreciated. It also leaves room for more vulnerability and openness than surface-level compliments based on appearance only. Maybe mix it up and try both!
What is a good excuse to text your crush?
Any excuse is a good excuse. If you did something together or talked about a topic previously, let them know you’re still thinking about it. You can say, “I had so much fun with you yesterday; maybe we could do it again sometime!” Or “I’m still thinking about the conversation we had, and I’d love to continue getting to know you.” Or you could find some inside jokes and them with them. That way, they know you’re thinking about them and that you have a sense of humor.
What can I say instead of hey?
The list of possible conversation starters is lengthy. You can start with a “hey there,” “hey hey,” “good morning,” or anything of that sort. You could even throw in an emoji with it, like a smiley face or a sun. This can brighten things up and show that you’re excited and in a positive, flirty mood.
You can also add their name, which makes things seem more personal. After the first greeting, you may want to follow up with an open-ended question. That could be “how’s your day going?” or “what are you up to today?” Following up with a question shows that you are genuinely interested in engaging. You want to know how they're doing, and this can get the conversation moving. If all you send is a text saying “hey” and nothing else, it might give off the impression that you don't care or are texting out of sheer boredom.
A good thing to consider is to send something when you are interested in chatting, have something to share, or have an actual question. Otherwise, a dead-end conversation can really be a quick turn-off and might even have the opposite reaction you had originally hoped for.
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