Is It True That Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

Updated March 26, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

There are no fairytales about successful long-distance relationships. Instead, the stories are about the prince sweeping the princess off her feet and them riding away together on a horse. The keyword here is "together." So, if you and your partner aren't spending all your time together does that mean that there isn't a fairytale ending in store for you? What about the saying, "distance makes the heart grow fonder"?

There's been a lot of debate over the years about "if absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Some people believe that the time away from each other is good and helps to create a longing for the other person. However, there are others who see the difficulties that come with being in a long-distance relationship.

Challenges to long-distance relationships

Long-distance relationships can be challenging

When you combine any two people together there are going to be periods of disagreement and times when they struggle to really connect. However, adding distance in the mix can make some of these challenges more difficult to overcome.

Here are some of the challenges that long-distance relationships face:


There are multiple ways that communication can be a challenge within a long-distance relationship. Good communication in a relationship is crucial to the long-term success of it. It's also a struggle in many relationships, but the struggle can be magnified in a few ways when you and your partner are apart.

When you are living separate lives in separate locations, it can leave one or both of you feeling like there isn't enough communication in your relationship. You may end up feeling like you don't really know your partner. Miscommunications become even more challenging because it can take longer to be able to correct them due to the distance.

It's also possible for the opposite to be true as well. Your partner could be contacting you too much. It's not that you don't want to talk to them, but if they're making it difficult for you to do other things such as work or enjoy time with your friends, then it can become a problem.


Jealousy can be a problem in any relationship, but when you add distance to it, it can become even more difficult. When you aren't in the same area to be able to see and get a feel for the individuals that your partner is interacting with, it can cause your imagination to run wild.

If you don't keep jealousy in check, then it can become a problem in your relationship. Your partner may be frustrated that you don't trust them, and jealousy can consume you and your time.


If your partner is not in the same area as you, it can leave you feeling lonely. You may want to be able to spend time with them but don't have the ability to. If you see other couples around together, it can make it even harder for you to be by yourself.

Loneliness is difficult to deal with. It can also lead to feelings of depression, which can creep into other areas of your life as well.

Growing apart

The less time you spend with your partner, the easier it will be for the two of you to grow apart. When you are constantly having to spend time with other people and possibly try different hobbies, it can cause you to find new interests. If the two of you are constantly going in different directions, it can leave you feeling like you're not really that connected. This can cause you to grow apart from each other and be the ending of your relationship.

How modern technology is helping people overcome the obstacles

While there are a lot of challenges that face couples in long-distance relationships, modern technology is helping to make it easier. In the past, if two people were in a long-distance relationship, it would mean writing letters back and forth. Then, it became easier when couples could call long-distance without it costing a fortune.

But now, we have the ability to video chat with people anywhere in the world. This can be a game-changer for relationships that are long-distance. It allows you to be able to continue to connect with your partner no matter where they are. You can hear their voice, see their facial expressions, and get a real feel for what they're trying to communicate.

If you find yourself in a long-distance relationship, this can be the thing that helps you to be able to keep that connection with each other when you can't be physically together.

Tips for long-distance couples

Don't worry if you find yourself in a long-distance relationship. It doesn't automatically mean that your relationship is doomed. In fact, if you and your partner are committed to your relationship and making it work, then you can set yourself up for success just as much as any other couple. Here are some things to help make your relationship work:

Don't leave communication to chance

When you're trying to make a long-distance relationship work, communication is key. That means you need to prioritize time to communicate with your partner. Don't leave this to chance.

While you don't need to plan every minute of when you're going to text, it can be helpful to have a schedule for when you're going to call each other. Regular video chats can help keep your relationship strong. But in order for that to happen, it means you're going to need to plan out time that works.

Once you have that plan in place, make sure you stick to that time. Put it on your calendar and prioritize it over other things. If your partner sees that you're constantly canceling and rescheduling, it's going to show them that they are not a priority to you. You need to be intentional.

Know what the ultimate goal is

It's important that you and your partner both have the same end goal in mind. If one of you is just looking to have fun in a relationship and the other one is looking for the potential of marriage, it's going to make your relationship difficult.

In a long-term relationship, it's important to know what you're trying to accomplish. Are you married and living in separate locations until one of you can find a different job? Are you still getting to know each other before one of you commits to moving closer? Where is the relationship headed?

Relax when you do have time together

If you're in a long-distance relationship it can be tempting to plan every minute of your time together. You want to make the most of the time that you have when you are in the same location. But this can put a lot of pressure on the time that you have to spend with each other.

You don't need to over schedule this time. Even just allowing time for the two of you to be spontaneous together, do the things you love together, or even just sit on the couch next to each other binging on Netflix, works.

Long-distance relationships can be challenging

Keep living life

Your relationship is not going to succeed in a healthy way if the two of you stop living life when you're not together. If you don't live in the same area, it's unrealistic that both of you are just going to go to work and go home without having any type of social life. It's important that you make time for the hobbies that you enjoy along with friendships.

Focus on building trust

Trust is the foundation that every single relationship is built on. Relationships in which partners are geographically far apart can seem to amplify this. You need to be able to trust that your partner is being faithful to you while they're away and they need to be able to trust the same about you.

This can be a difficult thing to adjust to and in the beginning, you may find the two of you asking each other lots of questions to check up on one another. But this isn't a healthy way to continue the relationship. If you cannot trust your partner and feel that you always need to be checking up on them, you are going to drive yourself crazy trying to maintain your relationship. You have to be able to build trust that person and then operate your relationship in that.

Don't be afraid of couples counseling

In the past, it was difficult for couples that were long-distance to do couples counseling. They would have limited time for sessions because they could only attend them when they were together. When you have a long-distance relationship and don't get to see each other that often, spending the time in counseling sessions might not be what you want to do.

But thanks to modern technology, it doesn't have to be that way. You and your partner can now do online couples counseling. This allows you to work on your relationship with a licensed therapist even if you're across the world from each other. That means you can work on keeping your relationship healthy while you're apart and then spend your time when you are together in more exciting ways. This can truly help the statement "distance makes the heart grow fonder" to be true in your relationship.

Counselor reviews

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship tenfold. Her communication style is amazing, and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”


Long-distance relationships may take a different kind of work, but they can be possible and rewarding if you and your partner are both committed and communicate well. If you need help in the process, consider online therapy such as Regain to help you on your journey.

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