“I Don’t Get Why Girls Don’t Like Me”: 10 Possible Reasons Why They’re Not That into You

By: Angela W. McShan

Updated October 23, 2021

Men around the globe have at one time or another faced a situation that causes them to struggle with a common issue. After several failed attempts to get girls to go out with them, they are left wondering the same thing, "I don't get why girls don't like me." It seems like a simple problem to solve, but it's not that simple for men who face the same rejection repeatedly.

Could it be that she's not that interested in you, or perhaps she's involved with someone else? It could be either, but having it happen all the time may lead you to wonder if there's something you're missing. You begin to try and pinpoint various reasons why women have no interest in you.

Men who face consistent or repeated rejection may find it difficult to approach the dating scene at all. Sometimes repeated rejection can lead a person on a downward spiral of depression or low self-esteem. It's not a good feeling, and failure to address those concerns can lead to more severe issues. If you're facing any emotional issues due to relationships or other personal problems, you may benefit from counseling at ReGain.

What Men Hear When Women Reject Them

I Don't Understand Why I Constantly Get Rejected
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Men have different characteristics, hobbies, personalities, and beliefs. However, when they are rejected by a female they are attracted to, they can feel various emotions. It's common for feelings of sadness, anger, hurt, and unworthiness to surface. Who wants to feel like they're not wanted? No one. Unfortunately, when an invitation to go out on a date is declined, it can be misperceived as an indication that there's something wrong with you. More often than not, this is not the case at all.

Some women are not interested in going out at the time, or they may be too busy to accept the invitation. However, once the "no" leaves their lips, men hear something completely different. The rejection or a declined invitation to date a man is sometimes misheard as one or more of the following:

  • You're not my type. It's hard to imagine how a "no" equates this, but it sometimes does. A guy may interpret this if he's approached a woman he feels is out of his league. It usually takes a lot of nerves to ask someone who appears to be different from you, and rejection sometimes reiterates the initial belief.
  • You look weird. A guy who is already self-conscious with his looks may hear this when he's turned down for a date. There are many ways men wish to improve their looks or personality, but it's not as easy as a simple wish. The issue is that they constantly compare themselves to other guys. It's not that they look weird at all, but that's what they hear when rejected by a woman.
  • You creep me out. After numerous rejections, some guys begin to feel like they must be creeping girls out since they always turn them down. She may have other reasons for saying no. But the discomfort of rejection eliminates the possibility of any rational thinking.

These are only a few of the many thoughts that run through some men's minds a woman declines an invitation to go out with them. It may be because they've heard "no" numerous times or that they've been rejected for so many years of their life. Rejection is never comfortable, but understanding why women repeatedly say no to your advances may help you overcome negative thoughts. It could also help you improve the areas that need work, increasing the chances of turning those rejections into acceptances.

I Don't Get Why Girls Don't Like Me: 10 Possible Reasons Why They're Not into You

  1. You come on too strong

It's possible that she's shy or sees your advances as being too aggressive. If you approach a woman and are cocky or assume that she'll be head-over-heels to date you, she probably sees you as overly aggressive. A cocky attitude is equivalent to rudeness in many ways. Women still like to be treated with kindness and wooed by men. It's okay to be confident in your approach but don't allow cockiness to overshadow your confidence.

  1. You have a negative attitude

Are you constantly complaining about life and how it owes you so much? Do you think that you're the only guy out there working hard to achieve things in life? Are you constantly griping about the things you don't have but feel you deserve? If you answer yes to these questions, you are likely perceived as a negative person with a strong dislike for life and everyone in it. Women aren't into guys like this at all. In fact, men would find it difficult to be friends with you because of your attitude.

A negative attitude is depressing and causes others to feel down or defeated in life. Girls are interested in guys who lift their spirits and are fun to be around. They don't welcome negativity or negative people into their lives.

  1. You have an uninspiring lifestyle

Is your life filled with positive surprises? Are you constantly doing new and exciting things? Do you find yourself constantly stepping out and embarking on new adventures?

Women are often excited to date men who fit the "yes" spectrum of the above questions. Many women may not necessarily expect a man to be rich, but they could want him to be ambitious in his way. If you spend your days sitting around the house watching television and playing video games, some women might assume you are boring as a person. Many women want to date guys who are passionate about life and what it brings, so they gravitate toward enthusiastic, exciting men.

To determine if you lead the type of life a woman would want to associate with, ask yourself if what you do from day to day (other than work) is something she might enjoy. If not, consider things you could do to make your life more attractive.

  1. Your intentions turn her off

When you approach women to ask them out, what are your intentions? If your primary goal is to make her like you, you may be taking the wrong perspective. It could put some pressure on her if she needed to be with you romantically if she wanted to continue talking to you. But maybe at first, she doesn't know where the relationship will lead, and she wants to get to know you in a context with less pressure.

Try getting to know her in a more relaxed environment where she can get to know you without feeling the anxiety that often comes with explicitly seeking out romantic or sexual love. For example, you could invite a group of her friends to hang out with a group of your friends. Or you could strike up a conversation about something going on nearby or something you both have in common. For example, instead of approaching someone and telling her that you find her beautiful, or only talking about yourself and the exciting things for you, you can ask her about an event happening nearby or ask her something functional. For example, if you see someone carrying groceries, you could say, "Excuse me, where do you usually buy your groceries? I've just moved here, and I'm looking for a place with good prices." When you ask a question like that, you may see the tension immediately leave her face once she realizes that your intentions aren't necessarily finding love or sex but simply seeking out a conversation.

  1. You're too arrogant
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While there are a few similarities between arrogance and cockiness, arrogance is a bit softer in approach. Confidence is a good trait to have, but it's possible to be overly confident in some ways. Simply put, it's a turn-off. If a guy is overly confident and only cares about himself, a girl will quickly lose interest.

Girls like to feel valued and appreciated. An arrogant guy usually fails to give her that type of attention. He is usually too absorbed in himself to show her how great of a woman she is. This is how an extremely arrogant guy runs girls off before the first date. Women appreciate a confident man, but arrogance will rarely get you anywhere with women.

  1. Your appearance is blah

Men usually admire a woman's physical attributes, such as a pretty face and a smoking body. That's about the extent of their admiration. However, women notice much more. They pay attention to the face and physique, as well, but are really into his presentation. They notice if he is well dressed, clean-cut, and well put-together in other areas. Women check men out to see if they appear to have it all together or at least have the know-how and drive to get it together.

It is natural for people to judge others based on their looks. Some think it's the right thing to do, while others are completely against it. Girls from all walks of life find it easier to choose the guys they date based on who they date.

Appearance 101: Girls will rarely date a guy if they're not impressed with their appearance. This is an issue that's easy to address. Clean up a little bit by wearing a pair of nice pants or jeans, clean or stylish shoes, and groom your hair. You can spruce up other areas that are a little less than appealing as well.

  1. You're too shy

You may have thought it would be easier to have your friend ask her out because you're a little shy, but that may not go over so well. It's natural to be a little shy or possibly intimidated by a woman's beauty, but you can't allow it to dictate your confidence. Shyness is cute, but if you're too shy to communicate with her, it can be a turn-off.

Some women feel that they'll have to do all the talking, decision making, and planning in the relationship if they date a guy who is too shy. If you're too shy to ask her out, how will you work up the nerves to converse with her on a date? Think of your positive attributes and allow them to be the foundation for your strength. It's only a date; she's not expecting you to be this overly talkative guy. She will expect you to be yourself and offer quality and engaging conversation when you're with her.

  1. You talk too much

Are you one of those guys who never run out of things to say? You've got story after story to tell, and never let anyone else get a word in during the conversation. It's not that you're self-absorbed because you talk about everything. However, it could be that you talk too much.

Most women aren't interested in guys who talk too much. Dates can be consumed by one-sided conversation, and that's no fun at all. If you're a chatterbox, save it for your buddies. Girls appreciate guys who can hold a balanced conversation and have the ability to listen and talk.

  1. You're obnoxious

Some guys say all the wrong things at the wrong times. They are intolerable and almost always the person others avoid. This is a characteristic that most people are annoyed by, especially women.

Obnoxious behavior is an extremely unattractive trait. If you are a guy who constantly makes rude comments, offers unwanted opinions, and uninvitingly intrudes on other people's space, you could be considered obnoxious.

This type of behavior is a clear turn-off for most women. If obnoxious behavior is your weakness, you should work to change that immediately. Until you improve this area, you will probably be rejected many more times for dates and other engagements in life.

  1. You're too clingy

Did she give you her number, and you constantly call or text her? Are you always popping up in places where you know she'll be? These things can make you appear to be a bit too clingy.

Girls may enjoy spending some time with you, but they don't want to feel smothered. It's easy for them to feel that way if you constantly intrude on their space. Give her some room to breathe. Follow her lead and allow her to invite you into the areas of her life that she wants you to be a part of.


I Don't Understand Why I Constantly Get Rejected
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Guys are rejected every day, and it's something that can make you feel defeated. It's important to take a full assessment of your attitude, appearance, confidence, and self-worth. If you're pleased with these aspects of your life, the right girl will be, too. Always strive to be your best self and refuse to change for anyone, especially if changing doesn't allow you to remain authentic to who you truly are or wish to be in life.

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