How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last In A Marriage?

Most people have probably heard of the honeymoon phase. During this phase of the relationship, couples may idealize each other, feel madly in love, and want to spend all their time together. In the honeymoon phase, couples are often quick to forgive or fail to notice their partner's little ticks and annoyances. However, when this phase ends, couples may begin to notice each other’s flaws; it can feel as though the relationship is shifting. So, you may be wondering how long the honeymoon phase lasts, and what happens after?

The different relationship phases

It can be completely normal for relationships to change over time. In fact, there are typically five stages most couples go through during their relationship. Some of these stages may last longer than others. Likewise, some couples may not go through all five stages, and some may even return to previous relationships throughout the course of their relationship.

The honeymoon stage

In the early days of a relationship, couples may go through the honeymoon stage where everything seems new and exciting. During this stage couples are just getting to know each other, and they may idealize their partner.

The settling in stage

This stage usually occurs once the honeymoon phase has ended, and you begin to see your partner as their true self. This stage may also be the time where you develop a commitment to one another.

The disappointment and growth stage

This stage may often be one of the most difficult and uncomfortable stages in a relationship. You may begin to face challenges in your relationship which may cause a need for growth, compromise, or acceptance. Some couples may discover they aren’t right for each other during this stage.

The comfort stage

This stage occurs when couples fall into a routine with each other, have stability, and get comfortable in the relationship. Some couples may need to find ways to keep things fresh and exciting during this stage as they may find the relationship may not be progressing. 

The unconditional love stage

The unconditional love stage in a relationship may signify complete acceptance and true love in your partnership. In this stage, couples may appreciate and value the love they have with their partner, regardless of the ups and downs.

The honeymoon stage and why it happens

In the honeymoon phase of a relationship, a person's feelings for their partner are often at their most intense, sometimes in a very physical sense. Just thinking about the object of your affection may give you butterflies in your stomach, raise your heart rate, and trigger that "in-love" feeling.

The honeymoon period can be tracked in the brain, as well. A functional MRI shows that people in the honeymoon phase display a lot of brain activity in the caudate nucleus, which is important in learning and memory, and in the ventral tegmental area, the area of the brain that manages emotional processing. Both of these areas of the brain can affect the dopamine levels, which ultimately affects feelings of reward and motivation.

Because the brain feels rewarded during this phase, typically individuals may idealize their partner and fail to see any red flags or faults which may be more obvious to the outside world. To the couple, everything may seem fun, carefree, and full of bliss and intimacy. During this phase, couples may rarely have disagreements and they may see their partner as “perfect.”

Some couples may even re-experience the honeymoon phase after a major life change such as moving in together, getting engaged, or when expecting their first child.

How long can a honeymoon phase last?

The truth is that the honeymoon phase can be different for every couple. According to experts, the honeymoon phase can last from one month to up to two years, though, and some couples may not experience a honeymoon phase at all.

In reality, relationships typically don't depend on the honeymoon phase. Long-lasting bonds and marriages can usually be maintained through trust and hard work. In fact, the feelings you get during a honeymoon period can be reignited at any point in a relationship just by trying new things together as a couple. 

There may be times when life gets mundane and even boring. Partners may eventually do something that annoys or upsets you. This can be normal in relationships. However, how you decide what to do next may be what shows if your relationship is in it for the long run.

What to do when the honeymoon phase ends

During the honeymoon phase, most couples may try to be agreeable as much as they can. You may not complain about small issues or irritations because you may not want this stage to end. However, when the honeymoon phase begins to end, and the longer you stay in the relationship, the more you may start to feel comfortable and show your genuine self, flaws, and all. You may become more relaxed with your partner and trust that they won't leave. You may not mind letting them see your flaws, and often compromises need to be made.

Shifting out of this stage often means that you each see each other for who you really are, and it may not be easy at first. You may find you need to find ways to communicate your wants and needs with your partner, which you may not have had to do previously. After the honeymoon stage, many couples may go through a learning curve through which they need to grow both as individuals in addition to as a couple. You can grow in communication together as a couple, learn when to compromise and understand how to best support each other.

Sometimes couples may find they have irreconcilable differences once the honeymoon phase is over while others might find a deeper love and stronger connection. Not all relationships will survive the post-honeymoon phase as typically your morals and values will be revealed, and sometimes they may not be aligned.

Even if not, disagreement can be healthy and challenges us to see perspectives outside of our own, which can foster personal and relationship growth.

How to seek outside support

Regardless of what stage you’re experiencing in your relationship, it can be completely normal to have conflict sometimes and to go through ups and downs. If you’re experiencing difficulties in your relationship, it may be helpful to seek support from a licensed therapist to gain an outside perspective.

Resources like online therapy can make it simple to talk to someone with the right expertise. A professional therapist can help you navigate the complexities of a relationship and provide tools to help overcome any concerns you may have, all from the comfort of your own home. They can provide both couple’s counseling and individual counseling depending on your specific needs. 

Online therapy’s effectiveness is supported by research, too. In fact, one study found that 95% of couples who participated in online counseling found it to be helpful. No matter your relationship goals or needs, it’s likely an online therapist can help guide you toward the changes you wish to see.

Counselor reviews

Continue reading below for reviews from real people who experienced concerns in their relationships and were able to overcome them with the help of a therapist from Regain:

“Cris Roman saved my marriage. His approach to therapy taught my husband and I the skills we needed to change the way we communicated and the way we understood each other. He is very non-judgmental and helps each person make sense of the others' feelings and actions without taking sides or placing blame. His ability to make you feel heard while helping you to see and understand why your significant other is acting a certain way is phenomenal.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

Takeaway

The “honeymoon phase” can last anywhere from a few months to a few years, and it may reappear later on after significant changes like marriage, having children, or moving somewhere new. This temporary period of intense infatuation usually stems from changes in brain activity that can lead our relationships to feel highly rewarding. Though the honeymoon phase may usually fade with time, the love and bond you share with your partner doesn’t have to; it just may look a little different than before.