Giving Him Space: Why It Might Be Hard But Necessary

When it comes to romantic interests, many of us have a natural urge to focus all of our time and energy on a person we’ve developed strong feelings towards. Those of us who place a heavy emphasis on socializing and human connection often feel as though we would like to spend every moment we can speaking to, or spending time with a new boyfriend or romantic interest. 

While being in or beginning a relationship can be a wonderful experience, it's important for both partners to maintain their own identities and interests outside of the relationship. In this article we will explore some of the reasons why your boyfriend or partner may need space, how it can benefit your relationship, and tips for creating space in an emotionally healthy way. 

Why he might need space

When a partner asks for space, it may be difficult not to jump to conclusions or take the request personally. While some of us prefer extra communication with our partner when feeling overwhelmed, others require extra time, space and alone time to process feelings or recharge.

Unless he has communicated a problem to you, it is likely he simply feels he isn’t getting sufficient time for himself. If you are just beginning a relationship, he may feel things are moving too quickly, or he may merely feel he needs more time to focus on self-care.

Self-care can include anything from pursuing his hobbies and interests, exercising, or simply relaxing and recharging his mental and emotional batteries. In most cases, respecting one another’s need for alone time, finding a healthy balance between spending time together and pursuing individual interests can actually benefit your relationship in the long run.

How giving him space can help

Building and maintaining a fulfilling relationship requires effort, patience, and understanding. While spending time with someone is an important aspect of any new or active relationship, it can be important to remember that all individuals have their own set of emotions and stresses that they deal with on a daily basis. 

Allowing your partner the freedom to have time alone, process their emotions, and pursue their personal interests can help to build a stronger sense of trust and intimacy in the relationship over time. In many cases, giving your partner space will benefit your personal growth as well. 

Though creating space may feel challenging initially, space can be beneficial because it promotes independence and self-sufficiency. Typically, partners who feel confident in their independence have healthier relationships overall due to the absence of codependency. 

According to Mental Health America, codependency is “emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship”. In some cases, people who find it difficult to give their significant other space may be struggling with codependent tendencies. 

Codependency tends to develop early in life and is typically learned by watching and imitating family members who display this type of behavior. It is likely that someone who struggles with codependency issues will have a number of complex feelings surrounding their origins as well as their effects on relationships. 

Someone who feels they lean toward codependency in relationships May benefit from Consulting a therapist. In many cases, a therapist can help identify and reframe negative, codependent Behavioral patterns. 

When taking intentional time apart, it can be helpful to remember that giving your partner space is not equal to ignoring or neglecting your relationship. Rather, it signifies your ability to respect each other’s boundaries and communicate openly and honestly with your partner about needs and expectations.

Keeping in mind that every relationship is different, it is important to note that certain things that work for one couple may not work for another. For this reason, it is often essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and expectations, working  together to find a balance that works for both of you. 

If you and your partner are finding it difficult to navigate communication or find a balance between time together and time apart, you may want to consider the option of couples therapy. research shows that couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those who participate.  

With the recent surge in digital mental health intervention, there are more affordable and accessible couples therapy options available than ever. Many online therapy services offer couples therapy options, with research showing that online couples therapy is equally as effective as in-person couples therapy. 

Tips on giving him space

Giving your partner space can be a healthy and beneficial practice in any relationship. While it is helpful to communicate needs, boundaries and expectations directly with your partner, there are a few things that may help to consider giving him space.  

• Avoid unnecessary communication.
• Spend time reconnecting with yourself; focus on personal goals and fulfillment.
• Consult a counselor or couples therapist for additional guidance. 

Takeaway

While giving him space may present certain challenges, there are many benefits of taking time apart and practicing self-care. Allowing each other the freedom to communicate openly, cultivate independence and recharge can be quintessential in forging a relationship that is both fulfilling, and supportive.