Getting Over A Broken Relationship: Quotes To Help You Move On

In adulthood, broken relationships are not uncommon. While youth is usually the source of exciting highs and devastating lows in relationships, heartbreak may grow more intense in adulthood. When you’re older, the hurt caused by a broken relationship can linger, and recovery and moving on can feel impossible or unattainable. Despite the difficulty of moving on and moving forward following heartbreak, there are footsteps you can walk in to help navigate the pain. These quotes can guide you along the way.

What is a broken relationship?

A broken relationship is any relationship that is no longer functioning or has run its course due to pain, heartbreak, or dysfunction. A broken relationship may come on the heels of both of you realizing that you don’t work anymore, or it can be more one-sided at its demise, leaving you reeling. Broken relationships can be abrupt and overwhelming or come after a slow burn of decline and decay. In any case, a broken relationship is exactly what its moniker suggests: one that has broken, fractured, or split. Healing from a broken relationship requires space, time, effort, and reflection.

How do relationships break?

Relationships can break in many ways, including neglect, infidelity, and incompatibility. Although these are not the only ways to break a relationship, they are among the most common. Relationships are complicated, multifaceted, and unique, and no two break in the same way or for the same reason. Nevertheless, there are often trends in broken relationships that can be evaluated and learned from to facilitate healing and avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Neglect is a common way that relationships break. It can come in the form of failed communication, growing apart, not carving out time for one another, prioritizing other relationships, and ignoring warning signs. Neglect often comes on slowly and usually isn’t recognized for what it is until the damage is done. Common phrases in neglect include, “It isn’t too bad.” “We’re just busy.” “It’ll blow over soon.” “I’m just tired.” Although these might be valid observations, they can also signal dissociation from your relationship or significant other and pave the way for a relationship to peter out.

Infidelity is another common way that relationships break. Infidelity destroys trust in a relationship, which can effectively kill the intimacy, closeness, and connection a couple has built up. The effects of infidelity can undoubtedly be worked through and overcome, but it is far more common for couples who have gone through infidelity to split. This is usually the swiftest and definitive of all the ways to break a relationship.

Relationship incompatibility can also break relationships because compatibility is essential in moving a relationship forward. If two partners have dramatically different ideas about family, for instance, a healthy relationship is unlikely; if one partner wants children and the other does not, is there an acceptable or appropriate compromise? Incompatibility issues often build up over time before they are recognized and can even break a relationship after several years or decades of marriage have already passed.

Can broken relationships be mended?

Broken relationships can be mended in some cases but not in others. Much of this depends upon the reason for the break and the willingness of both partners to do the work required to heal. Repairing a broken relationship often involves plenty of work, sacrifice, and uncomfortable feelings and conversations. For some, the risk and work might be unattractive enough to abandon the relationship instead of trying to repair it.

Broken relationships often require dedication and the work and intervention of a third person. This can be a mediator, who works to help the two of you understand where your relationship went south and how to learn to coexist, or it may be a relationship counselor who can help you improve communication and rediscover why you got together in the first place. Relationships rarely mend on their own, and usually, some form of intentional, informed practice is involved.

Quotes to help you move on

Although a simple quote cannot effectively cure you of a broken heart, there is some comfort in knowing that you are not the only one to have experienced pain and heartbreak. Seeing a situation through the eyes of someone else can offer you comfort in the form of commiseration, but it can also offer you comfort in the form of hope: someone else has been through heartbreak and has come through it relatively unscathed and ready and willing to brave the rocky terrain of love once again.

Relationship neglect

In “A Survival Guide for Landlocked Mermaids,” Margot Datz wrote, “To be captured as a trophy and then have our emotions neglected is tragic. We might as well be stuffed and mounted on a wall!”

Datz’s words ring true for anyone who has been neglected in a relationship. Being in a relationship is hard work, and maintaining that relationship only to find your work unappreciated and undervalued is painful and difficult. Being in an emotionless, neglectful partnership is an awful experience and is one of the most effective and hurtful ways to experience a broken relationship. This type of neglect is unacceptable to anyone in a relationship and is not something to tolerate or bear.

Infidelity in relationships

“It has always been my opinion,” Bea said musingly, “that there can be worse kinds of infidelity than the merely sexual. I’m a simple woman with a very simple outlook on life. I’ve always found that things work out best if you keep to certain simple rules. Right down the line. And one of the first rules for a successful marriage is loyalty to your partner. Total loyalty.” - from “Breaking Point” by Emma Darcy

As this quote suggests, expecting loyalty in a relationship is not extravagant, unusual, or unreasonable. It is one of the most basic expectations in a relationship and one people seek and hope for. If infidelity has torn your relationship apart, cling to this knowledge: fidelity is a legitimate expectation. Loyalty is a reasonable request. Wanting your partner to remain faithful is healthy and normal. Expecting anything less is beyond reason and discounts your value.

Relationship incompatibility

In “Mend My Broken Heart,” Jocelyn Soriano writes, “To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself, or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only one person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurts so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.”

The truth of Soriano’s words lies in her ability to ground herself in realism. Losing a relationship is likely an indicator of incompatibility rather than a fatal flaw only you possess. Its weight is substantial because of your investment in the relationship, not because it legitimately demonstrates that you are unlovable. Rejection and heartbreak feel unbearable at the moment and for many moments following the initial break, but you can recover from them. The loss of a relationship due to incompatibility is an invitation to get to know yourself better, including your wants, needs, and the traits and behaviors you consider non-negotiable.

Help for getting over a broken relationship

Mending a broken heart often requires inner work and self-care and can involve the intervention and treatment of mental health professionals. Seeking the help of a therapist indicates you are taking your heartbreak seriously and are working toward healing not only your broken heart but also any habits, patterns, or traumas that could be contributing to unhealthy relationships.

If you’re recovering from a broken relationship, online therapy is a convenient and affordable way to get the support you need. You attend sessions from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection, and you can communicate with your therapist in a way that works for you, whether via video chat, text, email, or phone. When you sign up, you’re matched with a qualified, vetted therapist who is available to start helping you right away, so you don’t have to worry about being on a waiting list for an appointment. And online therapy works. One analysis of 14 studies found that online treatment is just as effective as face-to-face treatment. If you want to learn more, sign up for Regain to get started.

Takeaway

Getting over a broken relationship is not a simple matter, nor a quick one. Depending on the length and depth of the lost relationship, healing can take months or even years. Once the healing journey has begun, your heart can certainly mend, and you can learn and grow in a way that will benefit future relationships and even keep further heartbreak at bay. Healing can be challenging on your own; online therapy can help.