Do You Like Him Still? 12 Signs It's Time To Move On

Is liking a guy enough to make you stay with him? Do you find yourself wondering if you're with the right person even though you really like him? Sometimes simply liking a person isn't enough to warrant you staying in the relationship with him. Or maybe you used to be in a relationship with him, but you are no longer together. No matter how hard you try, you might feel like you can't seem to get over him. You may feel stuck in a trap and don't know what your next move is supposed to be.

Signs when you're still dating

Whether you are still together or not, it can help to pay attention to signs like those below that might indicate it’s time to move on. Let’s take a closer look.

You're having to try too hard

It's not that relationships are supposed to be easy all the time, but it likely shouldn't always feel like a struggle either. It may be that you have always been the only one making an effort, and you're just starting to realize it, or it might be that things have started to change.

Successful relationships typically take two people working together to be healthy. When you feel that you are putting forth all the effort and your partner doesn't seem to care, it might be time to move on. And it might not be that they don't care; it might be that they prefer you to be the one that's doing everything for the both of you, or they simply aren’t ready to give what they may need in order to be part of a successful, balanced relationship. 

You don't feel like you matter in the relationship

Maybe it's not only that you're the only one trying, but it might be that your partner thinks they are the only one that really matters in the relationship. You may like him, but if you constantly feel like you are having to jump through hoops or bend over backward to please him and keep him happy, then it's likely not a healthy relationship. Your needs and desires matter, too, and you may not want to stay in a relationship that makes you feel like they don’t.

There's no trust in your relationship

Trust can be the foundation for any healthy relationship. If you can't trust your partner, then it's likely going to be difficult to make your relationship work, no matter how much you really like him. If he can't keep his word or has cheated on you in the past, it could be a good sign that it's time to move on. This can be an uncomfortable and challenging decision to make, but sometimes it needs to be made.

He's toxic or abusive*

Controlling, embarrassing, or belittling behavior can be a clear sign that you’re not in the right relationship, especially if these habits escalate to the point of abuse. This does not have to only mean physical abuse, either. If your partner is emotionally abusive, verbally abusive, or sexually abusive, it's almost certainly not a healthy relationship for you to stay in as-is. Behavior like this can often escalate, and it may be best to address it sooner rather than later for your own safety. 

*If you or someone you know is or may be experiencing abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, available 24/7, at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788. Live chat is also available on the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

You don't love him

Sometimes, you may realize that you really like the other person in a relationship, but you don't love them. You may even care about them deeply, but you don't love them the way that you want to love a person that you're going to be in a long-term committed relationship with. This can be an entirely valid reason to end a relationship; it can hurt your partner a lot more in the long term to stay in a loveless relationship where you don’t feel the same way he does.

There's no spark

It might not feel like fireworks are going off every time you're together, but if you feel that the spark and attraction are gone, it's likely worth taking the time to figure out why. It could be that you've just settled into the relationship, and things have gotten comfortable. With a little work, you may be able to get that spark back.

But if you try to reignite the flame or just don't feel it, then it may be time to move forward without the relationship. Growing apart and becoming distant can be among the top reasons couples break up, so if you notice it happening but don’t want the relationship to end, it may be necessary to address it head-on. 

You don't really care what happens with your relationship anymore

At the start of your relationship, you might have been jealous if you saw him giving attention to anyone else. But as your relationship has continued, perhaps you feel you've started not to care. It may not bother you when it seems like your partner is disinterested, and it might be because you feel this way yourself, too.

You can imagine your future without him

If you are setting future goals and making plans that don't include your partner, it may be a huge red flag. If you are imagining and planning your future and it doesn't look any different with or without your partner, then it's probably time to move on.

You're constantly fighting

If you can't seem to agree on any of the big issues, or you're constantly arguing about things that don't really matter, it can be exhausting. This generally may not be healthy for a relationship. If you really want to see things work out, you can try things like couples counseling to see if you can improve your relationship. Still, if he isn't willing to work on this area of your relationship, then it might be time to find someone new.

He's already moved on

You may like him, but if he's moved on and is in a new relationship, it may be best to move on yourself, too. You might still have feelings for him, but the fact that he can be with someone else can be a good indicator that he has moved on from your relationship. Allowing yourself to stay hung up on him can likely only continue to hurt you more.

He reassures you that it's over

You might really want to get back together because you still like him, but if he is doing his best to make it clear to you that he doesn't have feelings for you, then it may be in your best interest to accept that it's really over. It's time to move forward.

He won’t take responsibility for his part in the breakup.

If there are things that your ex is responsible for that led to or contributed to the breakup, you may want to truly address these issues before getting back together. If he refuses to take responsibility and acknowledge what went wrong on his side, then there might not be a point in you trying to work it out with him. You may be better off moving on and finding someone else that you can have a healthy relationship with instead.

Tips for moving on

Moving on isn't always easy, especially when you still have feelings for the other person. The following tips can help you to move on healthily.

Be clear with him

If you realize that it's time to move on, it can be important to communicate this to your partner if you are still together. You may need to be direct with him and let him know that there is no chance that you will be getting back together because you realize that it's not right to move forward together.

Surround yourself with your support system

When you realize that it's over, it's likely time to turn to your support system. This could be family, close friends, or other people you love and trust. Spend time with them as you work on moving past the feelings that you have for your ex.

Practice self-care

If you have been in an unhealthy relationship or are working on moving past a relationship that you're upset about having ended, it can be just as important as ever to practice self-care. You may find that you need to take care of yourself both physically and mentally to truly begin to feel better.

Self-care can look a little different for each person. It may include getting the proper amount of sleep each night, eating a balanced diet to get the nutrients you need, and getting some exercise, even if it's a simple walk. Self-care can also include things like journaling and meditation. The most important thing may simply be that you find what works and feels the best for you.

Take advantage of counseling

Counseling can help you whether you're trying to work on your relationship or trying to move past it. If you and your partner want to improve what you have with each other, couples counseling can be an effective way to do that. You can find an experienced third person to help you work through your differences and develop the skills that you both may need to succeed together.

Even if you are moving on without your partner, options like online counseling can help you get back on your feet. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings, see what areas you can improve for future relationships, and identify how you can find a better fit for you next time. When you join sessions online, you can even participate in counseling from the comfort of your own home. 

Research suggests that online counseling can be helpful on an individual level and in terms of helping couples rebuild healthy, lasting relationships. One study demonstrated that 95% of couples who engaged in online counseling found it to be “helpful,” so no matter your relationship concerns, you can likely benefit from speaking with a licensed professional.

Takeaway

Determining how you feel about someone you’re in a relationship with can be an important part of deciding whether it’s best to stay or to go. Remember, though, liking someone isn't always enough to make you stay together. But if that's what you want to do, you may both benefit from putting time and attention into it to make it last.