Do You Feel Like A Dominated Husband? 6 Ways To Assert Yourself In A Healthy And Productive Way
By: Robert Porter
Updated November 16, 2021
Getting married to a woman that you love is supposed to fill you with happiness and pride. Some people find out that their partner tends to be a bit too dominant in the relationship as the years fly by. You might be married to a particularly headstrong woman who seems to make all the decisions in your relationships. You might feel like a dominant husband who doesn't get to have a voice of his own. Whether this feels emasculating to you or simply making you feel like your feelings don't matter to your wife, it's important to try to address things.
If you are having problems letting your voice be heard in your marriage, you might be worried about proceeding. Can you ever change things if you're a meek individual, and she remains a very dominant woman? Take a look at the following six ways to assert yourself healthily and productively. These ideas might help you to turn things around over time so that your relationship can feel a bit more balanced. No one should have to feel like their spouse is dominating them and preventing them from having input in the relationship, so hopefully, this advice will make a difference.
- Start Speaking Up More Often
The most important thing for you to start doing is to start speaking up more often. Many men feel like dominated husbands, and they wind up just keeping their mouths shut instead of saying what is on their minds. If you count yourself as one of these men, you need to start changing how you're doing things. Your wife might be so domineering that you fear speaking up, but you really shouldn't be this way. Your wife should respect your opinion about things, and she should honor the fact that you should have a say in things.
Start speaking up when you have something to add to a topic. Even if it is just something small, it's going to be a step in the right direction. The worst thing that you can do is to clam up and avoid letting your opinions be heard. This is going to make the relationship continue going down the same path. Your wife might be dominant in the relationship due to your reluctance to speak up about things. It can start to balance out when you let your voice be heard more often.
- Be Clear About What You Want
Speaking up is good, but it's also important to be clear about what you want out of the relationship. You might discover that your wife takes things in a certain direction because she isn't truly clear about what you want to do. She could be making decisions under the assumption that you're going to be cool with whatever she decides. Unless you speak up and tell her otherwise, how is she supposed to know? You can't beat around the bush when talking about important topics and still expect to get the results you want.
Try to use clear language when you're discussing things with your wife. This is going to be especially important when you're discussing big life decisions. If your wife is thinking about taking a job in another city and expects you to be fine with moving, you need to be clear about your desires. Don't just go along for a ride with her if you have strong opinions about how things should go. This is your life, and you should have a say in things. Tell her how you're feeling and then decide how to proceed with big life decisions as a couple.
- Stop Agreeing To Things That You Don't Want To Do
Another problem that many dominated husbands encounter is that they feel like they're just being taken for a ride. Instead of having input and helping guide a marriage, many husbands let their wives dictate where things are going. Your wife might ask you to do something, and you are expected to agree to it without question. This is not going to make you feel like you're an equal part of your marriage. The best thing for you to do is stop being led by your wife and stop agreeing to things you don't want to do.
Your wife might not like it when you stop being agreeable to everything that she suggests, but you're an independent person. Her happiness matters, but so does yours. You can't just agree to things that make you uncomfortable if you want to have a healthy marriage. Start being honest with yourself and with your wife. If you don't want to do something, then you shouldn't agree to do it. This could be about something small such as a household task, or it could be about larger life decisions.
If your wife is telling you to do chores around the house and she doesn't distribute the workload evenly, then stop simply being fine with this arrangement. Things aren't going to change until you speak up. It might feel tough to stop agreeing when you are used to telling her yes all the time. The first "no" is going to be the hardest one. Eventually, you'll start to feel natural when speaking your mind and telling her that you aren't comfortable doing certain things. She will understand if she truly loves you, and you will work things out together.
- Set Boundaries And Decide What Is Acceptable
Setting boundaries about what is acceptable in your relationship is also crucial. Some women that have dominant personalities tend to act in ways that are harmful to their meek husbands. For example, your wife might belittle you sometimes without really realizing what she is doing. This could be something like calling you a name, or she might scoff at your opinion due to feeling she has more knowledge on the subject. Couples with educational backgrounds often encounter issues like this, but you don't have to accept her poor behavior.
You need to set limits on her and what types of behavior you're going to accept. Allowing her to insult you or to treat you poorly isn't good for your mental health. She shouldn't want to treat you this way, either. A healthy marriage is one where both parties are working together toward common goals. If your wife is trying to keep you down all the time, then is that something that you want to be a part of? If your marriage is going to survive, it will be necessary to set these boundaries.
- Take The Lead In Areas Where You're Comfortable
Sometimes it is fine for one member of a marriage to take the lead in certain areas. Your wife might be very good with numbers, so it would seem natural for her to handle your accounts and ensure that the finances are in order. Finding a better balance doesn't mean that someone can't put their skills to use. You could start asserting yourself more by taking the lead in areas where you're comfortable. For instance, you might have a set of skills that make you better at doing certain things than your wife.
You both have strengths and weaknesses. Your wife might have a dominating personality, but that doesn't mean that she is perfect and omnipotent. Taking the lead in some areas will help you feel more confident, and it will show her that you are a capable and independent individual. Some men can take charge in more areas than others, but try to consider what you feel comfortable doing.
- Work On Becoming More Independent
Working on becoming a more independent individual could be helpful to you as well. Many meek men wind up waiting around for their wives to do things that they want to do. Your entire life might be tied up in doing things alongside your wife. It's nice to have a desire to spend time with your spouse, but it isn't healthy to not have a life outside of your marriage. Becoming more independent will help you to have a more fulfilling life overall.
Start doing things for yourself that make you happy. Find hobbies that will interest you and let those become something that will bring you comfort. You don't have to wait around for your wife to start living your life or start having fun. Your wife should factor in your plans, and you shouldn't avoid doing things with her. It's just important not to lose sight of who you are due to your wife's dominant personality. Spending some time alone or with friends will be helpful.
Online Relationship Counseling Might Be Necessary
You might need more help, even if you do take the advice above into account. Online relationship counseling is a great way to turn your relationship around. Your wife might not be aware of how much she is hurting you by dominating the relationship. She might be making you feel small and preventing you from growing as a person, but it isn't necessarily her intent to do so. Working with a counselor online can help you to figure out what is wrong and how you can make subtle changes in your relationship. This should lead to a happier and more fruitful marriage that will work for both of you.
It might take time to get over feeling like a dominated husband. If your wife loves you and you're willing to work on fixing things, then finding the right balance is going to be possible. Work with an online understanding counselor today to get everything started. You can start feeling better about the direction that your marriage is going, and the counseling will always be very convenient for you to take advantage of.
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