Can A Childhood Emotional Neglect Quiz Help You Understand Your Relationships?

By Dylan Buckley|Updated April 18, 2022

Although many of us may go about our adult lives without knowing why our relationships are not working out, the truth is that your childhood has a major impact on how you form relationships as an adult. If you had a childhood that featured caretakers who were less than attentive to your needs or put you through trauma repeatedly, these issues become ingrained into how you interact with others and how you interact with yourself. To overcome these poor relationship-forming habits, you need to understand how your childhood affects you and where your trauma stems from.

Childhood Can Influence Many Aspects Of Adult Life
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Some may turn to resources like a childhood emotional neglect test to answer these questions. Still, for many, the question is whether or not these types of quizzes can give you the insight you need and provide you with the resources that will help you overcome these issues. In this article, you will learn more if a childhood emotional neglect quiz can reveal how your childhood impacts your relationships (and all the information you need to understand the importance of your past truly).

Can A Quiz Tell You What You Need To Know? In Short, Not Really…

Online quizzes can often seem to be authoritative sources of information to turn to, but they will usually do more harm than good. This is because many "experts" out there believe that they are providing you with excellent resources that will give you a complete psychological examination to help you learn more about your condition. The issue with these quizzes is that they are rarely detailed or descriptive enough to give you the right feedback on your current situation. Even worse, some quizzes have information that is not factual or questions that you may be incapable of answering. So, in short, you should avoid taking quizzes to learn more about how childhood neglect may tie into your relationship issues.

That said, if you do feel the need to take a quiz, make sure to take it from a reputable psychology website that has proven its expertise and is backed by other major organizations. At least this way, you can rest assured that the quiz has been crafted to be more accurate for those taking it.

Understanding Your Past: How Can Childhood Emotional Neglect Damage Your Current Relationships?

While a quiz can help you realize which aspects of your childhood may have negatively impacted you, it can't explain why knowing this is so important to make the necessary changes to your life in the present. Knowing more about your childhood is important because it tells you about how you attach to others. Our very first relationships are the ones that we experience with our parents and our caregivers. When we see that others interact with us a certain way, we adjust to those interactions, responding accordingly. This learned behavior is then applied to all of our relationships from those first ones, which is why we can often notice a pattern in our relationships, whether they are friendships or romantic relationships.

Attachment styles can be broken down into four different types. These styles include:

  1. Secure Attachment- Children who have caregivers that express love and support for them and take care of their needs develop a secure attachment style. This means that they can trust and connect with others more easily. As an adult, their relationships will often look quite balanced as they can assume the role of the caregiver and trust that their partner will offer support when needed as well. They will also be more honest and open with their feelings and communicate well with others.
  2. Dismissive Avoidant Attachment- On the other end of the spectrum, some individuals were emotionally or physically neglected as a child or had caregivers who didn't always pay attention to their needs. In response, those with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style will try only to reject the help or attention of others. If they find themselves in a relationship, they will try to be cold and push themselves away or put walls up to give the illusion that they don't care about others, even if they are concerned.
  3. Anxious Preoccupied Attachment- Those with an anxious preoccupied attachment style may not have necessarily felt loved or secure in their relationship with their caregivers, and it shows in adulthood. Rather than seeing a relationship as a bond with someone who they love, a relationship serves the purpose of allowing someone to save them and fill their emotional needs. Still, they may push away as they are very unsure of their partner's feelings for them. As a result, these individuals will often cling to their partner and look for reasons to leave if things don't go their way. Overall, they are constantly scared of the possibility of their partner leaving them, which causes them to push and pull at the same time.
  4. Fearful Avoidant Attachment- Finally, there is the fearful-avoidant attachment style. Individuals who exhibit this type of behavior are stuck in a middle state between wanting love and being too afraid to commit. This will manifest in emotional issues that can make it hard for their partners to stay in a relationship. If you have a fearful-avoidant attachment style, you can often tell as your relationships are quite difficult, and you will cling and push away from your partner throughout your time together.

As you can see from the above, your first relationships have a massive impact on the person you have become and how you interact with others. If you are someone who dealt with emotional neglect, for example, you can develop any of the last three attachment styles resulting, which you may already see if you noticed similarities between the descriptions above and how you interact in your relationships. Unfortunately, an online quiz would probably not give you this much information on the interaction between childhood and adult relationships.

Once people are more aware of the correlation, the next question is often, “Am I capable of changing my current attachment style?” Like many other behavioral patterns, the good news is that you can learn how to cultivate a more secure attachment style. Here is a closer look at a couple of tips that will help you to get started!

  1. Develop More Relationships With Partners Who Have Secure Attachment Styles

As someone with an insecure attachment style, pursuing relationships with those who have a similar attachment style can make it hard for you to learn how to form better relationships since your partner is dealing with relationship problems of their own. Many people learn by doing, and you can only accomplish this if you have an example to learn from. Not only will a partner with a secure attachment style teach you how you should be interacting with others, but they can also help you heal from some of the trauma by acting as that person who supports you, cares about you, and tends to your needs. When you see how you should be treated, you begin to look for what you deserve out of your relationships.

  1. Work On Addressing Your Trauma And The Problems That Stem From It

While we can't go back in the past and change the things that still affect us today, we can learn to heal from these things and to change the impact that they have had on us. Once you have a better understanding of why you act the way you do, you can begin working on that trauma to no longer affect you in the present. However, your trauma is not the only thing that you need to work on. If you have poor self-esteem or anxiety due to your childhood trauma, you will also need to fix these issues so that they do not continue to damage your efforts to improve your life as you work on the causes of your issues.

  1. Learn How To Accept And Love Yourself

Childhood Can Influence Many Aspects Of Adult Life

Even if you have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, the chances are that you struggle with your relationship as well. Issues stemming from your trauma, such as those mentioned above, can make it hard for you to see yourself in a positive light and to believe that you are deserving of love. No matter what you believe, the truth is that you are worthy of much more than you may be allowing yourself to receive. Take the time to care for yourself and do the work to help you come to this realization. It makes it far easier to accept the same unconditional love from others when you love yourself.

Most importantly, you should seek out the help of a professional to help you work through your trauma and its related issues. That said, it could be hard to find the time to schedule counseling sessions and get to them in this day and age. Can you relate to the above? If so, you should consider turning to ReGain for help. ReGain is an online counseling platform that connects you to certified therapists who can help you deal with relationship issues and other mental health problems. If you believe that you can benefit from this, click on the link above to connect to a therapist who can help you today!

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