Eight Tips To Manage When You’re Feeling Emotional

Things like genetic predisposition, grief, mental illness, hormonal fluctuations, and stress can make emotions more intense or variable, but everyone experiences overwhelming emotions at some point. There are effective strategies that can help you understand and manage strong feelings, such as using the STOPP technique, practicing deep breathing, and journaling. A therapist can help you challenge harmful automatic thoughts and gain more insight into your feelings.

What are emotions? 

According to Don Hockenbury and Sandra E. Hockenbury, authors of Discovering Psychology, emotions are made up of three separate components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral/expressive response. 

Emotions are reactions to various stimuli, and include feelings like joy, shame, anger, boredom, and sadness. Emotions influence our physical bodies, behaviors, and expressions. Some academics, including Charles Darwin, theorized that emotions developed in people to allow us to adapt to our environment and improve our chances of survival.  

Why are some people more emotional than others? 

Basic emotions are universally experienced by people, but the duration, frequency, and intensity of strong emotions varies amongst individuals. There are several common reasons why some people experience strong emotions more frequently, including the following:  

Biological Differences

It’s estimated that around 20-60% of temperament is genetically inherited, giving some people a natural predisposition towards higher/lower emotional sensitivity.  

Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS)

SPS is a personality trait that is genetically inherited by approximately 15-20% of people, and it’s associated with a heightened baseline sensitivity for stimuli, such as the emotions of others, loud noises, and pain.  

Inadequate Sleep

Too little sleep can result in poor mood regulation, irritability, and heightened stress levels, according to Harvard Medical School's Division of Sleep Medicine.

Poor Diet

Diets high in refined sugars and processed foods may impact brain function and worsen the symptoms of mood disorders. Studies find that diets low in processed foods, such as the Mediterranean diet, are associated with a 25-35% lower risk of depression than Western diets containing many processed foods, red meat, and refined sugars. In the case of low mood that does not meet the clinical criteria of a mood disorder, poor nutrition is also thought to be a causal factor. 

Not Getting Enough Exercise

Historically, researchers have promoted the theory that depression leads to physical inactivity, however, Dr. Kathleen Kerikangas and Dr. Vadim Zipunnikov, at the NIH’s National Institute of Mental Health and John Hopkins University, respectively, led a study to investigate this theory. Rather than depression leading to physical inactivity, they found that physical inactivity may lead to the development of depressive moods. They concluded that moderate exercise may be a key tool for improving overall mood, because exercise provides a way to break out of negative thought patterns and it releases feel-good endorphins. 

Stress

Stress can impact mood in many ways. It may lead to feeling overwhelmed, restless, anxious, angry, irritable, withdrawn, exhausted, or tense. Additionally, stress may make people less likely to engage in routine exercise, which can further exacerbate low moods. 

Grief

Grief commonly causes strong emotional fluctuations, with many people experiencing acute shock, anguish, anger, guilt, anxiety, fear, unhappiness, hopelessness, depression, numbness, regret, and loneliness. When strong emotions do not improve over time, a person may be experiencing complicated grief. 

Mental Illness

Psychiatric disorders are very common, with the World Health Organization estimating that 1 in 8 people globally have at least one mental disorder. There are many different types of disorders, but they are all characterized by significant alterations in thought patterns, behaviors, and the ability to regulate emotions. Common mental illnesses that may lead people to experience frequent mood swings and/or low moods include anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, bipolar disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, and eating disorders. 

Hormonal Factors

Many hormones play a role in mood regulation, and changes in the levels of these hormones can have significant impacts on mood: 

Serotonin

Changes in serotonin levels may lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, and mania. Many psychiatric medications target serotonin to improve mood. 

Dopamine

Changes in dopamine levels can contribute to substance use disorders, depression, obsessive compulsive disorders, anxiety disorders, excessive energy, low mood, and mood swings. 

Testosterone

Low testosterone can cause symptoms of depression, low libido, and lack of energy. 

Estrogen

People with estrogen dominance (having too much estrogen in comparison with progesterone) can lead to reduced libido, irritability, and depression. Additionally, many people assigned female at birth experience strong negative emotions when estrogen levels fluctuate during menopause. 

Thyroid Hormones

When the hormones in the thyroid are reduced, people tend to experience depression and lack of energy. 

When emotions become problematic

Experiencing emotion is part of being human. But when emotions become overwhelming, they may cause emotional stress. If heightened emotions are causing any of the following signs and symptoms, it might time to better manage your emotions: 

• Dizziness or lightheadedness 
• Increased heart rate
• Pain and/or tension in your shoulders, back, or neck 
• Headaches or migraines
• Jaw clenching or teeth grinding
• Feeling emotionally depleted or exhausted
• Symptoms of anxiety or depression
• Gastrointestinal symptoms
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Difficulty making decisions, concentrating, or remembering things 
• Substance use to numb intense emotional 
• Difficulty maintaining relationships 
• Anger outburst
• Trouble at work or school 

Take advantage of the support system you have around you. If you need someone to talk to or sit with while you mull over your own emotions, reach out and ask for it. Isolating yourself will only serve to make matters worse, and your friends and family won’t mind if you ask them. You are only hurting yourself if you resist.

Take a hot bath

Backing up and taking a moment to relax and breathe is important even if you are in good spirits. When you feel emotional, this could be a great way for you to wind down and relax.

Draw a hot bath and light a candle, or add some scented bath salts to your water. Play some calming, low music, and dim the lights. Let your mind explore the week and all its happenings. Brainstorm ways that you can prevent emotional feelings in the future.

This is the time that you should take for yourself and take it often. We can all use a recharge, especially at the end of an emotional day. You deserve it.

Let it out

The only way through dealing with emotions at times is to let yourself feel them. Far too often, we choose to deal with our emotions by not dealing with them at all. Bottling them up will cause more pain and heartache in the future.

It might seem redundant to let your emotions go when your goal is to feel less emotional. The thing is, though, that some emotions won’t go away until we deal with them. For example, when you lose a loved one, the grieving process is hard and long. There are so many different emotions that we go through. Pain, heartbreak, anger, fear, to name a few. When you face these, the easiest thing to do might be to ignore them and try to live your life as normal.

The bad thing about this strategy is that it never works. You can’t run from your emotions. No matter what you do, they are inside of you. You will carry them with you until you choose to deal with them, or they force you to do so. You must recognize the emotions you feel, let yourself feel them, and then decide how you will heal. This is the only way you can gain your freedom back.

Play a good song

The effect an upbeat song has on your emotions might be greater than you think. Studies show music has a significant impact on people and can pull us out of a sour mood.

The next time you feel emotional, turn the radio up. Pick an upbeat tune and feel the vibrations of the music. Get into the song! You can sing, dance along with the music or jump around. The good vibrations you will get from the song paired with getting your blood pumping can fix more problems than you think.

This method works wonderfully for calming stress and anger. Much of the time, we need to distract ourselves from the intensity of our emotions until they pass (which they almost always do on their own). The five minutes you spend listening to your favorite song can be all it takes to see yourself through the emotions you are feeling.

Check into DBT

The next section covers the reasons why you should consider talking to a therapist. If you choose to go this route, ask about DBT. This special kind of therapy is used specifically to help people learn to keep their emotions in check. It can help you learn to guide and label your emotions, figure out how to control them, and oppose urges that are not healthy for you.

DBT greatly improves communication skills and helps produce better responses through 4 main modules: core mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Talk to a professional

If the emotions you feel are too overwhelming, or you feel you can’t deal with them independently, it may be time to talk to a therapist. Some issues are too deep, and emotions are too strong to deal with on our own, and that’s okay!

The trained counselors at Regain are logged in and ready to help. Regain’s the online platform will enable you to match with the perfect therapist for you in minutes. The best part is you can connect with this person right from your living room – no more annoying commutes to stuffy offices!

Takeaway

With some determination and wisdom, you can conquer feeling emotional. You already have all the tools you need; you must learn how to use them.