We all have moments where we find ourselves feeling lonely or down-in-the-dumps. Most of the time, the clouds pass, and we’re able to see things again. However, sometimes, you may find yourself saying, “I have no friends and no life.” Maybe you feel stuck in a job you hate, lack positive social connections, or feel rejected after a difficult break-up. There are many reasons why you may feel “I have no friends.”
You are the only person who can change the way you feel about yourself. No matter what you’ve been through, how you’ve been treated, the mistakes you’ve made-you ultimately determine your self-image. While mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, can negatively alter your perception of yourself, these conditions are treatable when diagnosed and managed.
How Is Low Self-Esteem Defined?
In a basic sense, self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. Everyone has moments where they doubt themselves, such as when starting a new job, after leaving a relationship, or just in day-to-day life. That’s normal. However, a chronic low opinion of yourself can impact your ability to achieve your goals and develop into your best self.
Low self-esteem usually develops over time due to a combination of factors. Maybe you were raised by strict or harsh parents who demanded the impossible from you. Or maybe you were the frequent target of bullying. Maybe you’ve been through a painful break-up or divorce that shredded your self-confidence. Whatever the cause, low self-esteem can drag you down.
Signs that you have low self-esteem include:
Factors That Can Lead To This Feeling
Demanding Work Schedules
It’s normal to experience a certain amount of stress in the workplace. In fact, occasional stress can drive us to achieve our goals and complete the necessary tasks. However, excessive stress, such as that of an overly demanding work schedule, can leave us unsatisfied, unhappy, and overwhelmed.
Chronic Stress And Worry
In today’s frantic and busy world, we may constantly feel stressed out and struggling to keep up with the ever-increasing demands placed on our shoulders. We may also worry constantly about what other people think about us. This chronic stress and worry can lead to lowered self-esteem, a decreased mood, and a feeling of disconnection and loneliness.
Excessive Social Media Usage
When we spend a lot of time on social media, seeing the photos and posts of other people who appear to have it all, we may get FOMO fever. We compare our real lives, which may not be filled with daily parties and expensive vacations, to the carefully curated images presented online. Even if we know these posts are unrealistic, it still affects us. A recent study published in the Journal of Depression and Anxiety found a link between frequent social media usage and depression.
Depression
Depression is an extremely common mental illness, affecting over 16 million adults in the US. It is the leading cause of disability for those age 15-44. Depression requires a diagnosis by a qualified health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Symptoms of depression can sap your energy, lower your mood, taint your thinking, and make even the simplest task seem much more difficult.
If you have five or more of the following symptoms most days for over two weeks, then you may have depression:
If you recognize yourself in this list, know there is hope. Depression is a highly treatable condition in most cases when a person seeks diagnosis and professional care. Unfortunately, up to 80% of people suffering from depression never seek treatment. That’s why it’s important if you think you have depression to contact a therapist or other mental health professional to initiate treatment.
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
While it’s normal to feel a bit nervous in certain social situations, like a job interview or a first date, a persistent feeling of anxiety or fear related to social interactions can cause significant distress and barriers in your life. With Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), even basic social interactions can cause a severe amount of anxiety, worry, and embarrassment. You may eventually avoid social situations in an attempt to minimize these symptoms, leading to isolation.
Symptoms of SAD can include:
Unfortunately, as with depression, social anxiety disorder forms a negative feedback loop that only causes symptoms to persist and worsen over time. Social anxiety can have a severe impact on your ability to be successful in work, relationships, and other activities that may be important to you.
Need Help? Seeking Treatment
If you think you’re struggling with an issue such as depression or anxiety, it’s important to seek diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible. The longer you try to manage symptoms by yourself, the more you may find yourself struggling against them.
Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem
Here are some ways you can improve your self-esteem:
Friends, Family, and More – Improving Your Relationships
Positive, strong relationships, which can include friends or family, are an essential part of a fulfilling life. These relationships with friends or family take effort to sustain, especially when we’re struggling with low self-esteem. But this effort is worth it in the long run. Contrary to what you may think, you don’t have to have a huge circle of friends-a few close friends that you can laugh with, be yourself around, and lean on during hard times are worth a hundred shallow acquaintances.
To improve your relationships with friends or family, the following tips may help:
When To Seek Professional Help
If you’re having trouble improving your self-esteem despite your efforts, consider reaching out to a professional counselor. A counselor can offer you the support, perspective, and guidance you need to improve your outlook and regain your self-confidence.
ReGain.us offers individual and couples online therapy that is available whenever you need it. You’re not alone-reach out to us today to get started on the path to self-acceptance and better relationships.
Counselor Reviews
“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”
“Sarah has been comforting to me through a very difficult transition . She has helped me to regain confidence and listen to my intuition. She is a great listener and has encouraged me to rediscover and use my voice.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are the signs of low self esteem?
There are different levels of self-esteem – inflated, high and low self-esteem. It is not uncommon to see people exhibit different levels of self-esteem issues, and while it is easy to brush off low self-esteem as a character trait- and some may even mistake it for humility sometimes- the signs are often glaring. People with low self-esteem are usually withdrawn as compared to those with high self-esteem who are often seen at the center of activities, taking the lead and offering contributions. They usually feel the lesser they interact with people- especially those perceived to have higher self-esteem- the lesser the need to interact presents itself. A lady with a level of self-esteem problem, for instance, may feel unworthy if a good looking, wealthy guy asks her out. She doesn’t see the good in herself or feel she deserves something half as good. People with low self-esteem also tend to focus on the negativities of the events happening around them. Even when they seem to make a bit of progress or achievement, their low self-esteem denies them of good sense of self-worth- they have a hard time accepting that they ever deserve a pat on the back for a good job. Girls with low self-esteem may see themselves as inferior to other people with high self-esteem because they are unable to afford a certain type of trending outfit. In some cases, people with low self-esteem often feel a need to avoid interacting with people as much as possible; for them, this is mostly a defense mechanism.
Some of the most common signs of low self-esteem are;
What causes Low Self Esteem?
Several research surveys and experimental studies have been carried out to examine and understand the low self-esteem phenomenon- like ‘Low Self-Esteem People: A Collective Portrait’ and ‘Extending Self-Esteem Theory and Research.’ The causes of low self esteem can be linked to various factors, situations, or circumstances which may have taken place at different stages of the lives of the individuals who exhibit the traits. The root cause of this prevalent type of self-esteem issue can vary from person to person. For example, someone who may have been abused or molested while growing up, or someone who has had a failed marriage, lost a job, etc., may develop a poor self-image. Recognizing the signs and causes of a low level of self- esteem is an important step towards fixing the problem, improving your self-worth, and ultimately, attaining high-levels of self-esteem.
Some of these causes associated with low self-esteem individuals are;
How Do You Fix Low Self Esteem?
Self-Esteem is simply the opinion you have of yourself. To overcome low self-esteem, conscious effort to do away with negativities and the effects emanating from antecedents of self esteem issues must be put in place.
Poor self-esteem most times, results in lack of confidence. Being intentional about getting out of the hole of low self-esteem is the first step required to overcome low self-esteem issues. Conscious steps must be taken towards building self-esteem, some of which are as follows;
Is there a mental disorder for low self esteem?
Although no specific self-esteem research theory outrightly links low self-esteem to mental disorder– except when combined with some other symptoms– self-esteem issues can lead to conditions such as personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and depression. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is also often linked with low self-esteem. GAD is categorized under two distinct features – fear and anxiety, which are factors that are prevalent in people with low self-esteem. Therapists or mental health professionals often interact with low self-esteem people by using the self-evaluation maintenance concept, which focuses on the theory that a person will always try to maintain their self-evaluation, and that self-evaluation is mostly shaped by socializing and mingling with others.
What is a person with low self esteem called?
A person with low self-esteem is often categorized as one with very low or no self-worth. Low self-esteem is strongly related to varying degrees of one’s life outcomes. Such a person could be termed a failure. Other phrases such as “timid,” “deflated ego,” “self-depreciation,” “low self-worth,” “lack of self-confidence” etc. are often used to characterize someone with low self-esteem.
If you’re having trouble improving your self-esteem despite your efforts, consider reaching out to a professional counselor. A counselor can offer you the support, perspective, and guidance you need to improve your outlook and regain your self-confidence.
ReGain.us offers individual and couples’ online therapy that is available whenever you need it. You are not alone—reach out to us today to get started on the path to self-acceptance and better relationships.
Further Reading on Friendship and Friends
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/a-how-to-guide-for-making-friends-as-an-adult/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/how-to-make-friends-and-keep-them/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/i-cant-make-friends-tips-to-overcome-common-social-issues/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/symbols-of-friendship-what-are-they-and-why-do-they-matter/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/what-is-a-platonic-friendship-why-theyre-good-to-have/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/advice-on-how-to-end-a-friendship/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/the-best-quotes-about-friendship-to-live-by/
https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/what-is-a-one-sided-friendship-and-how-to-avoid-it/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/little-things-that-ruin-the-friendship/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/what-are-the-best-friendship-quotes/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/symbols-of-friendship-around-the-world/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/how-to-end-a-friendship-amicably/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/songs-about-friendship-that-you-can-relate-to/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/what-is-true-friendship/
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/friendship/what-is-a-platonic-friendship-do-they-exist/
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