Exploring The Effects Of Domestic Violence on Survivors, Partners, And Children
Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include sexual assault & violence, which could potentially be triggering.
Domestic abuse can be a traumatizing experience for everyone involved. Survivors, children, and the perpetrators of abuse are often all impacted by the behavior, with short and long-term consequences observed in numerous studies. Read on to explore how domestic violence affects survivors, partners, and children and how therapy can help you heal from the damage to move forward with healthy, productive relationships.
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence (DV) is one form of abuse between people living in the same home. Children or roommates can experience domestic abuse in an unbalanced home dynamic, and incidents occur at the residence. By contrast, intimate partner violence (IPV) happens between two partners in a romantic relationship and can occur anywhere. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, sex, gender, religion, education, or socioeconomic background.
“Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions, or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.” — U.S. Department of Justice
Abuse takes many forms
While many people think of bruises and broken bones when considering the topic of abuse, it can take many forms. Explore the different types of abuse that can fall under the umbrella of domestic violence.
Physical
Using physical violence, or the threat of it, to gain and retain power over someone else who lives in the same home
Emotional
Non-physical behaviors intended to isolate, frighten, or control someone—often more subtle and complex to identify
Sexual
Financial
Digital
Using technology and the internet to harass, stalk, bully, intimidate, or control
Sexual coercion
Coercing a partner into sexual activity, blurring the line between consent and obligation
Reproductive coercion
Removing control over one partner’s reproductive system, such as taking or sabotaging birth control to cause pregnancy.
Recognizing signs of abuse
How do you know that you or your loved one is being abused? Here are some of the most common signs.
- Physical violence, such as pulling hair, slapping, kicking, punching, choking, biting, or otherwise causing you harm
- Using or threatening to use weapons against you
- Preventing you from leaving or contacting emergency services
- Harming your children or pets to make you act as they want
- Throwing things at you.
- Preventing you from seeking medical treatment
- Acting jealous, refusing to trust you, or constantly accusing you of infidelity
- Calling you names, insulting you, or criticizing you regularly
- Isolating you from friends, family, and other support
- Gaslighting you by questioning your experiences, trivializing your feelings, or denying their previous words or actions
- Blaming you for their behavior
- Forcing you into sexual activity
Understanding the impact domestic violence makes
While domestic violence can be a single incident, it is typically part of a pattern of behaviors over an extended period. As more time passes, the effects can compound and become more pronounced. Explore how abuse in the home affects survivors, perpetrators, and children.
On survivors
Studies show that approximately 10 million men and women survive domestic violence annually—an average of 20 people per minute in the United States. In recent years, mental health professionals have urged a shift in the language from victim to survivor. It can help you to see yourself as a survivor, shifting the perspective to perseverance and growth.
- Physical effects: In addition to any injuries they may sustain during domestic violence incidents, survivors often experience long-term symptoms of stress and anxiety, such as headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, increased blood pressure, and a higher risk of cardiac problems.
- Psychological effects: Living in a domestic violence situation can influence how survivors think and interact with people around them. They may develop post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, or dissociation (feeling detached from themselves).
- Emotional Effects: Survivors may want the abuse to end but not be ready to let go of the relationship, feel embarrassed about their situation, worry that they cannot make it without their partner and feel trapped, or make excuses for the violent behavior to justify their actions.
On partners
Abuse can affect the person perpetrating it, too. They may feel guilty for hurting their partner and regret the harm they’ve caused to the relationship or home dynamic.
- They may not have intended to harm you and struggle to comprehend that an action's intention and impact don’t necessarily align. They must deal with the issues their behavior caused, regardless of intent.
- Perpetrators of abuse may have difficulties recognizing the problem and identifying the underlying causes.
- They may become stuck in a cycle of guilt that leaves them feeling undervalued, which could cause anger and resentment, often leading to further violence.
- Guilt
- Loss of respect for themselves
- Worry about their loss of control
- Concern about the relationship ending
On children
While children can often bounce back and adapt to changing situations, being exposed to domestic violence can make a lasting impact on young minds.
- Children may become fearful or anxious.
- Preschool-age children may show regressive behaviors such as bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or increased whining and crying.
- School-aged kids may blame themselves for abuse in the home, showing damage to their self-esteem, grades, and behavioral patterns.
- Adolescents may react to domestic abuse by acting out negatively, such as fighting or skipping school, engaging in risky behavior, showing low self-esteem, or getting into trouble.
- More likely to enter abusive relationships or become abusers themselves
- May believe that abusive behavior is how relationships work
- Negatively impacting their emotional attachment styles
What can you do if your partner is abusive?
Staying in an abusive relationship and leaving both present exceptional challenges, emotionally and practically, and neither is an easy decision. Financial stress, a lack of support or resources, family or social expectations, and many other factors can influence whether someone stays or leaves an abusive relationship.
Reach out for help
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to learn more about your options.
Ensure that you and your children are safe
Some domestic violence situations may leave you and your children unsafe. If you fear for your lives or physical safety, look for a domestic violence shelter that can provide a safe place to stay and resources to help you take the next step.
Learn practical ways to avoid violence
If you choose to stay with your partner after an incident of domestic violence, finding practical ways to avoid future problems can be helpful. Suggest couples counseling to teach effective coping skills to help manage anger and stress, conflict resolution strategies to help you work through issues together, and anger management techniques to help your partner remain calm and express their feelings in a healthy way.
How therapy can help you recover after surviving domestic violence
Many people feel unsafe and need time to recover their equilibrium after experiencing domestic violence. Consider working with a licensed therapist online through a virtual relationship therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can help you examine your feelings about the abuse, find healthy ways to process and move past them, and develop healthy communication skills to manage conflicts better in the future. Parents or guardians seeking emotional support for their children following an incident of domestic abuse can contact TeenCounseling to get online therapy for kids from 12 to 19.
In the past decade, a massive surge of interest in versatile mental health treatment options has inspired numerous studies into the effectiveness of the various methods. Research shows that online and in-person therapy offer similar results, though virtual treatments often have lower costs and shorter wait times. Virtual couples therapy is also equally effective online and face-to-face, with both study groups showing reduced symptoms related to depression, stress, and anxiety and increased relationship satisfaction. Teletherapy platforms offer the added benefit of connection to a comprehensive network of licensed therapists, giving you a much higher chance of connecting with a provider who fits your personality and needs, and makes you feel comfortable.
Takeaway
Domestic violence can impact the people involved in many ways, whether they are the survivor being targeted, the abuser, or children forced to witness violent behavior. The information in this article offers insight into how domestic abuse can affect survivors, partners, and children and how therapy can help you work through your emotions in positive, practical ways.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the effects of domestic violence?
Domestic violence is harmful in many different ways, and many different kinds of individuals can experience it. Oftentimes, anyone in the same household as a perpetrator of domestic violence can be experiencing it, especially children. During Domestic violence awareness month, it is especially important to learn about what these effects may be.
Individuals who experience domestic abuse often experience severe injuries from physical domestic violence. Also, many individuals experience moderate to severe psychological effects. These can include mental health conditions, including but not limited to anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Finally, individuals can experience chronic health conditions relating to the nervous system, digestive system, heart, reproductive system, etc. These chronic conditions result from living in a heightened state of stress during an extended period of time.
As always, if you are experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is, call the National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
What are the effects of violence on society?
In addition to domestic violence causing severely negative effects on individuals, society can also experience domestic violence. The CDC sites that domestic violence in the United States incurs over 3.5 billion dollars of costs in total. This includes medical costs for individuals and an estimated loss of productivity in paid work, and the costs for trials through the criminal justice system.
To summarize, the effects of violence on society may include:
- Higher rates of individuals with mental health problems or chronic physical health problems. These health conditions can lead to large amounts of people unable to function, work, and maintain relationships, causing unspeakable damage, both financially and otherwise, to society on a large scale.
- Widespread violence can lead to trauma or trauma by large groups of people, which leads to mass change or shift in culture.
- Fewer successful and healthy relationships, lack of healthy social skills, problems with child development, academic performance, and work performance
This is a shortened list of an infinitely complex and widespread problem that can cause innumerable effects among both individuals and society.
Additionally, research suggests that violence often begins at home. If violence is normalized in a household, that can lead to a higher percentage of acts of violence in war, on the street, and against strangers. Considering this, it is important to note that each individual is a part of a much larger picture. What benefits one person or one family often benefits society as a whole.
However, resources like the national domestic violence hotline can help decrease domestic violence and affect our society. Call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit their website at https://www.thehotline.org/.
How can we avoid violence?
The first step to avoiding domestic violence is bringing awareness to its prevention. October is Domestic violence awareness month, the perfect time to do so.
Avoiding violence can begin at home, school, the workplace, and the greater community. Research suggests that by teaching young children about violence, they become less likely to become perpetrators themselves and more likely to avoid intimate partner violence situations in their adult lives.
Being aware of resources such as reputable informational websites about domestic violence and the domestic violence hotline can also help us avoid domestic violence. Please visit the CDC’s informational page at https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html or call the National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
How do you manage violence?
Managing domestic violence can begin at home or in the greater community. If you are experiencing violence, do not hesitate to call the National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to help manage your immediate situation. If need be, evacuate your environment to get to a safe location.
In addition to the domestic violence hotline, there are other ways to manage violence. Begin by educating children on what domestic violence can look like and the effects. October is a great time to do this as it is Domestic violence awareness month. It can also be extremely beneficial to attend therapy sessions or encourage those around you to do so. Going to therapy can help potential perpetrators of domestic violence manage their anger and learn how to deal with it in ways other than violence.
How do most domestic violence cases end?
Most domestic violence cases are settled before going to trial. That means that the perpetrator and the experiencer reach an agreement and the experiencer often receives money to settle the case before they must go to trial. The other most common result is that the charges are dropped, either due to insufficient evidence or the experiencer simply deciding not to go forward. However, evidence has shown that nearly all end in the perpetrator's conviction of the cases that go to trial. That is most likely because there is such an intense funnel that any cases without enough concrete evidence are dropped before they are ever presented to a judge and jury. Furthermore, a first-time domestic violence offender will most likely not go to jail but will rather have to attend a batterer’s counseling program and be instructed not to break any more laws.
Domestic violence awareness month allows us to bring awareness to domestic violence's lesser-known consequences, such as court proceedings. However, domestic violence cases are often difficult to prove or do not go to court at all. It is very important to call a domestic violence hotline such as the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE if you are experiencing domestic abuse.
Where does domestic violence occur the most?
According to UN Women, the countries in which women have reported the highest rates of having experienced intimate partner violence at some point during their lifetime are as follows:
- The Democratic Republic of the Congo
- 56.9% of women report having experienced some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime
- Bangladesh
- 48.7% of women claim to have experienced domestic violence in their lifetime
- Ethiopia
- Tied for number two, 48.7% of Ethiopian women report having lived through domestic violence at some point in their lives
- Uganda
- 48% of Ugandan women have experienced domestic violence
- United Republic of Tanzania
- 46.7% of women in the United Republic of Tanzania have self-reported experiencing domestic violence at some point during their lifetimes
In the United States, research shows that the states with the highest rates of domestic violence against both men and women are:
- Michigan
- Oklahoma
- Missouri
- West Virginia
- Georgia
It is also important to note that these figures may be incomplete, considering that domestic violence is often underreported.
Domestic violence occurs at an extremely high rate all over the world. This is why it is extremely important to bring awareness to intimate partner violence this October, Domestic violence awareness month. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, more than 10 million people are physical domestic violence subjects each year. If this is you or someone you know, don’t hesitate to call the National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Visit https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS for more statistics on domestic violence.
How does abuse affect the life of a survivor?
What factors affect domestic violence?
How does domestic violence affect the well-being of an individual and family?
What are the effects of violence?
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