Why An Awkward Date Doesn't Mean The End Of Your Relationship

When you are dating someone new, an awkward date might happen from time to time. Although these “facepalm” moments might be uncomfortable or embarrassing, they don't have to be dating deal-breakers. An awkward outing also doesn't signal the end of the relationship. Building new relationships with people you don't know well won't always go as smoothly as you would hope. This is completely normal!

Spending time with someone new in your life is already an adjustment. When you add the possibility of love in the mix, it can make things a little more difficult. As long as the two of you are sensitive to this, you can move forward past an awkward first date. Often, the only thing that needs to happen to make things more comfortable is to spend more time together. Once you get a feel for one another's personality, things can be much more relaxed, and you can both feel more at ease.

Ways to move past an awkward date

You can do a few things to move past an awkward first date (or seventh date!) Most of the tips below are easy to implement and can make a significant difference quickly. Try these suggestions out the next time you have trouble with an awkward date and see what a difference it can make!

Start with a clean slate

Sometimes, a clean slate is all you need to move past an awkward date. Going on a first date is sometimes a nerve-wracking experience for one or both parties. If you can both agree to start over, a ton of that anxiety surrounding a second date can dissipate.

Talk to your new partner about the experience you had. Explain any emotions that you might have been feeling that caused you to act the way you did. This person will likely understand and appreciate your transparency. This solution carries two perks. First, you will have a chance to express yourself and show your genuineness with your love interest. Second, you are setting the tone for an open and honest relationship to come.

Every relationship should be built on a foundation of communication. If the two of you can work through initial awkwardness, not only can you continue to revel in one another's company, but you can also practice those crucial communication skills you need for your relationship to be successful. With these skills in hand, you can get on the right foot for a long and healthy relationship.

Plan an exciting date

The typical dinner-and-a-movie duo can set you up for an awkward date. While dinner can be a great time for conversation, watching a movie in a theater requires you to be quiet. Some movies may include intimate or uncomfortable scenes that prompt awkwardness between new dates. 

Even during a dinner, which can be conducive to open-ended dialogue, people aren’t necessarily the best at sustaining conversation with new love interests. Combine this problem with the anxieties of first dates, and you have a potential recipe for awkwardness. If this sounds like you, planning a more exciting or involved second date could be the perfect solution.

Think outside of the box when coming up with ideas for this date. The only requirement for a date is spending time together in a romantic fashion. There is no need to follow the typical route. You could go on a walk together in your favorite park. You might also consider going to a concert or sporting event together. The only important thing is that you choose something that both of you will be interested in doing.

When you plan a more involved date, you will find that awkwardness can fall away. The expectation of intimate conversation isn't as urgent when you aren't sitting across the table from one another. Filling up those awkward silences with commentary, music, or even physical activity could be a great solution.

If you are worried that not talking to a new partner will not bode well for your relationship, don't worry. As you spend more time together and get to know one another better, issues of discomfort may fade into the background. If you can learn to appreciate comfortable silences, in the beginning, you may avoid awkwardness in the future. 

After all, those awkward silences sometimes constitute space for a person to decide if they want to become more vulnerable – trying to push past long silences isn’t necessarily a good idea. Showing your comfort with silence can show your partner that you are an adept active listener and confident in your communication skills.

Try double dating

Some people interact better in the company of people whom they know and trust. If you and your new love interest are these types of people, consider a double date.

This is a great option for new couples who are introduced through mutual friends. A double date can feel more casual, therefore making it easier to relax and talk freely. Additionally, when you are in the company of friends, the tone can feel a lot less overwhelming.

Since your friends know you, they might also be able to help fill in those silences you are dreading. When the conversation starts to diminish, they might bring up something that made them think you were a good match. A friend will be able to identify your interests and bring them to the forefront.

Double dating can be a fun and easy way to break the ice. People with good relationships are often best friends first and lovers second. You will be off to a great start if you can base your relationship on friendship.

Talk on the phone more

Having a chat on the phone more often can do a lot to help your awkwardness around a new partner. The more time you spend together, the less apprehensive you can be about this time. If you have trouble talking face-to-face, one solution is to talk more frequently on the phone. Many new relationships spend countless hours on the phone, sometimes into the early hours of the morning. When you meet someone new, you may want to revel in their presence.

Don't let awkwardness get in the way of your ultimate happiness. Talk to one another on the phone about the reasons why these emotions come up on dates. When you talk about them, you can learn to address them. You might also find a common denominator in one another. 

Talking on the phone or texting isn't always the answer to all your problems, but it could solve a portion of them. Set some time aside each day to talk to and pay attention to your new love interest. It can help in making both of you feel more at ease around one another. It will also set the tone for frequent communication between you both. These are the building blocks of a good relationship. If you emphasize it in the beginning, you can be a pro before long.

Prepare conversation topics

Some people get stumped when they feel put on the spot to talk on a date. If you find yourself going blank when you are dating someone, you can do some planning ahead to help alleviate that awkwardness.

Making a list of conversation topics to bring up is a great way to start. Sit down and think about the things that you would talk about with a close friend. Write down anything and everything that comes to your mind during this brainstorming session. Although you might not talk about everything on the list, you will have a good resource to pull from. You want to make sure that you have a wealth of options to choose from.

You never know where the conversation will go when you put this into action. While you can't be prepared for everything that might come up, you might find comfort in having a small bit of control. For some people, having a plan is all it takes to alleviate the anxiety around awkwardness on dates. Even if this option doesn't work for you, it is worth a shot. At the very least, you can get a good story out of it!

Get advice from someone you trust

Some people struggle with awkwardness on a date because of underlying internal issues. Anxiety or low self-esteem are some common sources. If you are struggling with something that makes it difficult to have a relaxed dating life, you may need a little help. 

Do you have a family or close friend with whom you can bounce ideas around? Perhaps someone more experienced in dating can help you figure out where things went wrong. If not, the counselors and therapists at  Regain are a wonderful resource you might consider. The thought of seeking relationship help might seem even stranger than an awkward date, but it doesn't have to be. In fact, it is one of the very best solutions.

Online counseling platforms like Regain can be beneficial in that they enable users to schedule therapy sessions at convenient times and from any location with a secure internet connection. Additionally, if you’re on a date and things are feeling tense or awkward, you can discretely text your Regain therapist from a restroom or lobby for advice in the moment.

You’re not alone if you’re considering seeking relationship advice from an online counselor. Many people have done so before you and experienced positive outcomes from doing so. In a recent study, researchers recruited participants who reported different types of relationship distress to engage in an online intervention for couples and individuals. 

A total of 117 individuals participated (60 as couples and 57 as singles) in a 12-week study, and results established that those in the online intervention cohort experienced significant improvement in relationship satisfaction compared with the waitlist control group. Additionally, the online treatment group experienced significant reductions in symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Takeaway

Getting the professional help of a counselor or therapist can be a great way to combat issues regarding dating anxiety or awkwardness. Regardless of the stigma surrounding mental health, getting help is a wonderful gift you can give yourself. Online therapists at Regain offer a discreet way to address your concerns head-on. Don't let your past awkwardness taint another date – reach out for support from Regain when you are ready!