So, you're experiencing some problems with your boyfriend. It could be the way the two of you are getting along or that you are having trouble trusting them or interacting with each other. It could be any number of things, but regardless, you want to make sure that you're figuring out the problem and working on a solution right away. You don't want boyfriend problems creating even more drama in your life or resulting in a breakup for the two of you, but if you don't take care of them, it can do all that and more.
Learning To Communicate
What you need to do first is to learn how to communicate with your boyfriend. Your problems will generally stem from a lack of communication between the two of you, no matter what else might be going on.
If you don't trust him or have trouble with just about anything else, communication is probably part of the culprit. If you don't talk to your partner or don't talk to you, it causes other relationship problems. By learning to communicate, you'll be able to improve the relationship and the issues you're having (though it might not make them go away entirely).
Communication isn't the same as just talking, however. You can't just talk to your partner and expect everything to be okay. Communicating is about more than just speaking up yourself. It is about learning how to speak in a way that your partner can hear and understand you. It also involves learning how to listen in a way that will help your partner feel both heard and understood. By communicating effectively, you'll feel more connected and more important in the relationship, crucial to its success.
Another essential thing to note when thinking about effective communication is that your boyfriend may not communicate the same way as you do. It is critical to your success that you try to understand this. You may consider an apology to be receiving flowers or other gifts while he considers it to be a hug or a nice gesture. If you feel at any point that your boyfriend isn't doing the things you need to feel happy and secure, talk to him about it! There is no need to worry about saying things "the right way" or hurting each other's feelings. It is imperative to your relationship that you invoke an even playing field.
Whenever the two of you are talking, remind each other that you express your feelings without the worry of being judged or looked down upon. That will be key in communicating. If you are holding anything back from each other, it will inevitably cause much worse issues than the original problem, which can also perpetuate your disdain for each other and ultimately end the relationship altogether.
Using Communication As A Tool To Fix Your Relationship
So, you've learned to communicate with your boyfriend, you hear and understand each other, but perhaps you are still running into issues. Another important thing you can do in your relationship is to apply changes based on the problems your new communication skills have revealed.
For example, if your partner were to suggest he feels unimportant because you spend too much time on your phone or at work, you may want to consider doing more activities as a couple, such as going for a nightly walk or watching TV together. You could also plan lunch together on days to get that extra time into bond and work on your relationship.
The more you two are willing to apply changes, no matter how big or small, the more successful you will be in staying happily together long term!
You can also apply the skills you've learned to convey to your family and friends that you are working on your relationship and make sure they understand not to express any harsh words toward your significant other. It is common to have issues with your partner and go to your support system for advice and help.
When you do this, be sure to let them know that while you value their assistance, they mustn't hold any of the problems you bring them against your partner. This can cause further stress on your relationship, and it is much more difficult to control issues generated from outside sources than it is to solve just between the two of you.
Another issue many couples come across is trust. Your partner or yourself may have committed an unfaithful act in the past, or you may not have been completely honest with each other regarding an incident that should have been communicated more effectively. In situations like these, it can be very helpful to be sure you are letting your partner in on any activities you may be doing and reassuring them that you are regretful about the actions you took which hurt them.
In these fragile moments in your relationship, it is important to go the extra mile to make your partner feel secure, loved, and cared for. Eventually, with hard work and determination, you will be able to build that trust back up, and your relationship will come out stronger than ever.
Making Extra Time To Reconnect
A common complaint of couples that begin having relationship problems includes making time for one another after the relationship is no longer new. Once the novelty of your new partner has worn off, it can become challenging to find things to do together while still going about our busy day-to-day lives. A good rule of thumb to apply when encountering this type of issue is to set time aside at least once a week to go on a date. This can be as simple as cooking a normal dinner together and eating while watching a show you both enjoy, or if you prefer, it can be an outing to a local restaurant or movie theater.
Many couples agree that more frequent time spent together can remind you of why you chose to be with each other to begin with and can rekindle the flame, allowing you to be much more tolerant of the other person. It is normal to drift apart from each other with the daily hustle-bustle of paying bills, working, or taking care of a family if you have one. It is important to remember that it is not your partner's fault that these things happen.
If you are harboring resentment in your heart regarding this, try wiping your partner's slate clean and give them a chance to better the relationship with you. It's apparent that you don't want to end the relationship, so why not give your 100%?
Get Some Help With Boyfriend Problems
If you and your partner have been communicating effectively, it should help you resolve your problems, but it won't take care of them entirely. Even with the most diligent work, including talking to your partner, applying changes, and taking extra care to be sure you are connecting, issues can seem too big to handle between the two of you.
At this point, you will need to consider getting some professional assistance. You want to make sure that you have someone out there to listen to you and work with the both of you to solve the problems you're having. That's where a therapist or counselor can come in.
Many couples are fearful about finding a therapist to work with and believe it is a sign of weakness or an embarrassing process to go through, but it is quite the opposite! A therapist is a college-educated professional that will act as a neutral third party to help you and your partner talk about what is bothering each of you and how you would like to resolve it.
A therapist will help you understand one another and help you reach a healthy solution to the problem you're facing. He or she may also suggest techniques that you and your partner have not considered that would be very beneficial to your relationship.
Additionally, a therapist can help to mediate your conversations. For example: if you or your partner has a difficult time containing your anger while communicating, a therapist can help the two speak to each other healthily and respectfully rather than with negativity. Hurtful words spoken in anger can cause permanent damage to a couple. So, it is crucial to have someone to remind you to speak with purpose and without disdain.
After all, you want to make sure that you and your partner aren't going to have the same problem in the future. You'll also want to ensure that you don't end up with a different challenge because you haven't resolved the first one properly. That's not going to make for an improvement in your lives.
If you're not sure about finding a therapist for yourself and your partner, you definitely want to take a look at ReGain. Regain is an online platform that can help you connect with a qualified therapist who understands your issues and wants help. You'll be able to find out more about therapists that are available to you, and you'll be ready to start the process of getting the therapy you want right away, without the hassle of driving around or wasting time in waiting rooms.
After all, who wants to scroll through the yellow pages looking at all those options and then have to narrow down how far you want to drive? With Regain, it will be easier for you to decide who you want to help you because you get to meet with your therapist online, from the comfort of your own home.