Should You Hire A Dating Coach? Here Is What They Can Do For You
Updated February 11, 2020
Reviewer Cessel Boyd
Dating can be difficult for anyone. It's especially difficult if you feel like you've been at it for years and still can't form or maintain a successful relationship. Regardless of how long you've been struggling in the dating arena, a dating coach may help. Here's what hiring a dating coach can do for you.
Give Unbiased Tips
A lot of people turn to their close friends when they're looking to make a match. Friends can undoubtedly be good sources for meeting new people or taking a fresh look at someone you may have run into before at shared parties or outings. After all, your friends also have family members and friends outside the circle you hang out with.
For some people, the friends as matchmaker thing may even work out. But more often than not, it doesn't. Here's why: your friends are invested in their outcomes and opinions. They may have a cousin who has been single for a while, and they want to help that person out, so they find something, anything, the two of you may have in common and set you up.
Unfortunately, a situation like this doesn't usually result in the best match. Your friend just wanted to try to help two people at once. Additionally, when your friends match you up, it may take longer to call off a relationship that isn't working, in part because you don't want to upset your friend who thought they were doing a great job as a matchmaker.
Think about it. Every time you see that friend, they're super excited about your budding relationship and asking you how it's going. So maybe you don't want to let them down, and you hang in there and say things are fine even though you're not happy.
That kind of guilt doesn't exist with a dating coach. If you meet someone through the guidance of your dating coach, it isn't likely to be someone they suggest because they know them. Your coach will not have a personal investment in you sticking to any particular date. They just want to see you getting the results you want.
Because of the dating coach's unbiased opinion, you're also a lot more likely to be truthful with them about what you're looking for and how your dates are going. This provides the double benefit of allowing you to divulge details you need to spill about your dates while also giving you an opportunity to think about what it is you like or don't like. You can be completely honest.
Your friends or family may also inadvertently give you advice that reflects their current situations or mood, and that won't be helpful. For instance, if the person advising you is in the middle of a divorce, that could reflect in their suggestions on who you should date or whether you should look for something serious.
Suggest New Places To Meet People
A lot of the places people claim are typical zones for meeting people are terrible suggestions. The grocery store? A bar? Honestly, how much are you guaranteed to have in common with someone you meet this way?
A better bet is to start looking for your dates in places that say more about your personality or the personality of people you want to meet. For example, if you love tennis, try joining a league, or if you are passionate about a charity cause, attend an event. A dating coach can help you come up with some new ideas for places to scout out potential matches, based on your interests, habits, and available free time.
Help With Your Conversation Skills
Maybe you have no problem getting dates, but you flounder once you're out with someone. Or maybe the whole process seems difficult to you. Either way, having amazing conversations is one of the most important parts of dating, after the initial attraction or match. This is, after all, the period where you get to know each other.
Good dating coaches have all kinds of tricks and tips for starting up a conversation when you and your date both go silent. It's not about small talk. It's about being able to start meaningful conversations with someone.
You may feel like you're incredibly shy or awkward, but the truth is that simply having a plan can do wonders for awkward silences. All you have to do is arm yourself with the right kinds of questions or have some topics in mind ahead of time. You can also practice having conversations with your dating coach. This creates a safe space for you to try out different conversation styles. Your coach will be able to tell you what habits or quirks they're noticing, as well as your strengths.
Likely, if you're thinking about hiring a dating coach, it means that you are dissatisfied. What you are currently doing in your dating life is not working, but you probably don't know what you should be doing instead. In fact, even if you change things up, it's likely you'll stick to strategies that stay within your comfort zone.
A dating coach can help you break free from that comfort zone, which is exactly what you may need to do when your dates go stale. It's well-known that the most attractive quality for pretty much anybody is confidence, and often, insecurity is what holds us back and keeps us in our comfort zone.
A coach can help you find reasonable ways to break free from your usual choices. It may mean trying a new wardrobe or hairstyle. It may mean making more of an effort on your workouts. Don't mistake this for meaning your appearance is what needs improving. It's just that shaking things up can remind you how amazing you are and give you the confidence boost you need.
Your coach may help you consider new hobbies too. New hobbies don't just expose you to new people (i.e., potential dates); they also help you form more self-confidence as you learn new skills.
Another way that your dating coach may help to boost your confidence is in providing unbiased opinions about where your strengths and weaknesses lie in dating. Of course, for your coach to give the best advice, you'll need to be open and honest with them about yourself and your habits.
Help You Find Self-Love
Your coach should be doing everything they can to help you see that you are worthy of love. Their priority should be helping you to love yourself. Almost any dating expert will tell you that the first step to finding love is to love yourself first. Self-love leads to confidence, and confidence is attractive.
Help You Learn What You Want
Sometimes we fall into patterns, and we keep following a pattern long after its usefulness is gone. This happens in relationships and dating too. If you feel like you keep picking people who just don't work, then you may want to look at whether there is some pattern at work-a dating or socializing habit that you need to nix to find more compatible dates.
The bigger problem is that you may not even realize what your negative dating patterns are. And if you don't know them, you can't change them. When you talk to a dating coach, they may be able to help you pinpoint patterns you didn't realize you were following. Then, you can break them and start looking for the qualities you want in a date.
Give Pointers For Online Dating Profiles
Because so many people seek out dates online, getting your online dating profiles right is important. You may not be an expert at this, and nerves may make you uncertain of what to put on these sites. A coach can help you form a plan that both makes your profile look appealing and represents you honestly.
Several aspects go into a good profile, including what kinds of pictures to add (pictures are an absolute must) and what kind of information to include about yourself, as well as what information may be too much for a dating profile.
Give Honest Feedback About Dates
A coach won't only help you before dates, during the selection process. They are also a valuable ally in analyzing the dates you go on. You can talk to them about how things went and get honest feedback about the quality of your dates. This is useful because you'll probably go on dates with several different people during your time with a coach. It's uncommon to find the right long-term match on the first go if long-term is in fact what you're looking for.
Understand The Right Things To Look For
We all understand that there are certain relationship red flags to avoid. Unfortunately, we don't always know precisely what they are or recognize them if we come across them. Your coach can help you know and recognize what to look out for.
In the same vein, they can also help you to pick quality partners by knowing what traits you should aim for. You should not settle for less than what you want in a partner. Because dating coaches work with all different people in various stages of life, they may help you to realize an important quality you didn't know to look for in potential dates. Many of these qualities make a big difference, but you may not be able to recognize them without a guide.
Improve Your Current Relationship
Dating coaches aren't just for single people or those who are casually seeing someone (or a few people). They can also be helpful for established relationships. You see, one of the best ways to ensure a happy long-term relationship is to keep dating your partner. If your partnered dating life has slowed, a dating coach can help you find that energy again.
For instance, they may help you come up with new ideas for dates to go on or stay at home date ideas. A coach can also help you look at your partner with fresh eyes again.
How Can I Find a Dating Coach Near Me?
The internet is the best tool in searching for a dating coach. There are dating coaches available face to face or online. A major piece of advice is to search for reviews about the coach, as well as checking their credentials, qualifications, and experience.
Online dating coaches can be very convenient. If you live in a less populated area, there may be none available to meet in person. Even if you can meet them in person, you would have to deal with traffic and waiting rooms. Most importantly, many people find that working with a dating coach from the comfort of their own room to be soothing. They can open up and be more honest.
ReGain offers secure, affordable, and private dating counseling from licensed counselors. It is easy to verify the counselors' credentials, as well as read a plethora of reviews from satisfied thrivers. Below are some reviews of ReGain counselors, from people who improved their dating situations.
"My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you're looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she's the one to go to."
"Sarah has been comforting to me through a very difficult transition . She has helped me to regain confidence and listen to my intuition. She is a great listener and has encouraged me to rediscover and use my voice."
Dating may still get frustrating at times, but having a coach on your side can make you stand out. With the help of a coach, you will be better prepared to fulfill your dating goals. After all, we hire coaches for fitness and careers. Your dating life is just as important as the other aspects of your life, perhaps more so. ReGain is a great place to start. Everybody asks for help in a variety of ways, and this is no different. Take the first step.