Dating Questions And Answers To Help You Succeed
Updated September 04, 2018
There are many life skills that most schools don't teach you. How to do your taxes, how to buy a house, and especially how to date. Many adults don't know how to be a master at dating, and that's a shame. While every person is different, there are some ground rules for making a date successful. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions for dating, along with the solutions.
Is Online Dating Worth It?
The Internet has made it easier to find your soulmate. People would use to only date in their area, and settle down with someone who wasn't their type, but who was the best they can get. Thanks to the Internet, you can date more people and match someone based on your personality and interests.
With that said, there are a few disadvantages to online dating. First, the over-saturation. If you're a woman seeking a man, you have to deal with an abundance of desperate men who can't communicate. If you're a man seeking a woman, you have a lot of competition. Don't put all your dating eggs in one basket. Try going to places where there are more like minded people, such as conventions. Use more websites than just a dating site. Online dating is worth it, but it's one tool out of many.
When Should I Ask Them On A Date?
If you're talking to someone, especially on an online dating site, time is of the essence. If you're a man seeking a woman, if you think you're the only person talking to her, you're dead wrong. If you wait too long to ask her on a date, another one well. However, if you ask right away, you're just going to turn them off.
There is no magic time, but if you two are having a great conversation, you should ask as soon as possible. Don't be chatting buddies for too long, or else you're going to get ghosted.
How Do I Avoid Getting Stood Up?
The idea of getting stood up sounds nightmarish. You talk to someone for a while, get a date set up, and when the time comes, they're a no-show. We live in a society where people just don't want to admit that they got cold feet, or found something or someone better, so they don't cancel and make you stand around.
Instead of having a person meet up at a restaurant, why not let them meet up near your place, or anywhere else that won't require money. Give them a grace period when they're late, but don't stand around for too long.
The truth is, there's no way to avoid getting stood up totally. People are going to flake out on you. You should have a backup plan and not let it bring you down.
Where Should We Go?
When it comes to dating, the first date should be someplace open and public. It gives both parties a sense of safety, and you can easily leave if the date goes sour. Restaurants, malls, coffee shops, parks, and any other open place should be good. It depends on you and your date's tastes.
How Can I Tell if They Like Me?
When dating someone, or just talking to someone in general, it's hard to figure out if they like you or not, especially if you're not good at nonverbal communication. It's easy to mistake someone just being nice for someone being flirty.
There is no correct answer, as people express love in different ways, but there are a few signs many people use. Obviously, if someone is flirty, they probably like you. They may tease you, use eye contact more, smile, and pay attention to what you're saying.
Some people will just straight up admit they like you, but for many, the fear of rejection prevents them from saying. One of you has to say it at some point, so if you like the person, and you see subtle clues they like you back, just say it. The worst they can do is say no.
How Can I Tell if They Don't Like Me?
When someone doesn't like you, they may try to give subtle clues to tell you to go away, but the problem is that some people don't get the hints. In a date going bad, the person may be quiet. Some people are shy, but excessive shyness is a bit of a problem. If the person is more interested in their phone than you, it could be a problem as well.
Perhaps the biggest hint that date went bad is the sudden flake. If they say, "Sorry, I have to go," and offer a wafer-thin excuse, then they may be leaving gracefully, so they don't hurt your feelings. While some people have a legitimate excuse, if they don't text you later, it could be a sign that the date went bad.
We wish we lived in a world where people would be more direct, but everyone is afraid to say what's on their minds. Thus, you have to listen to the clues.
How Do I Avoid the Awkward Silence?
When it comes to first dates, it can be awkward for the two of you. Not everyone can befriend strangers. Think of some conversation starters beforehand. Ask about hobbies, family, aspirations, and so on. However, don't prepare a series of questions like it's some interview. Keep it casual and interesting.
Also, if the expects you to be smooth and flawless on your first date, then they're probably not for you.
In a male-female date, it's seen as a chivalrous act for a man to pay for a date. However, in today's world, where gender roles are always changing, some may see that as an outdated act. There is no straight answer to this one, but a good rule of thumb is that the person who set up the date should foot the bill. If the other party offers to chip in, great. Otherwise, pay up.
When Should We Kiss?
The first kiss is a dating trope as old as time. It can seal the deal, or make things extremely awkward. In a perfect world, we would ask if we could kiss them beforehand, and if they say no, it'd be no big deal. But we're scared to ask, despite asking for a consent being a sign of respect. So when should it happen? First date? Second? Third?
A good measure is at the end of the date, and when it comes to asking, just do it. If they politely decline, don't get hung up on it. If they get mad, then drop them as a date.
And while some people will naturally gravitate towards one another, you should never force a kiss on someone. Consent is key.
How Do I Stop Dating Without Hurting The Other's Feelings?
So you went on a couple of dates, and while they weren't terrible, you're realizing that the person isn't for you. How do you end your dates with that person without upsetting them?
In most cases, you're not going to end up breaking up with your date without causing some negative emotion. They invested time into dating you, and maybe they like you, so they aren't going to walk away without at least some kind of disappointment.
In most cases, being honest is the best way to do it. Ghosting them, where you cut all communication with them, is just going to leave them confused and upset. Keeping it open-ended ("I found someone else,") isn't a good way to do it either. Just tell it like it is. Don't be overly negative; reinforce them by listing all their pros, but give out a few reasons why it didn't work.
You're not going to end the date without them being somewhat upset, but by being honest, it's the safest route.
When Does It Go from A Date To A Relationship?
So when do you go from seeing someone to being in a relationship with them? With most of these answers, there is no exact time. You should not rush things if you or the person you're with aren't comfortable with being in a relationship just yet. Both of you need a desire to take it to the next level, and if you're not doing that, it won't work. The best thing is to ask for a few successful dates.
Besides that, you'll know it if you want to take it to the next level. Your life feels complete when you're talking to your date. You have funny feelings about them, and they do too. Just follow your heart in this case.
If you're having trouble with dating, there is no shame in getting yourself a counselor who can help you figure out all your flaws. We all make mistakes while dating, and a professional can help you fix them, and you can be on your way towards finding that successful date.