Are We Dating? Is It Exclusive? When A Casual Relationship Turns Into Something More
Casual dating can have different meanings for different people. For most, it means that you’re still just seeing each other to have fun and get to know each other better. People casually dating each other aren’t always dating exclusively; one or both parties may also be dating others.
What happens when you start developing deeper feelings but aren’t sure if it’s time to take it further? Some try to quantify their plan by citing the “two-month rule” as the optimal time to date someone before making things official.
However, some people casually date for years without deciding to date officially, while others immediately make things official. It can be challenging to determine if the person you’re seeing is ready to take things to the next level. If you know where to look, there are likely to be clues as to whether your dating partner wants to be something more, too. This article discusses those signals and, if it’s the right time, how to move forward together and cultivate a healthy, serious partnership.
Signs that the relationship has deepened
One way to determine whether things are shifting toward something more serious is to examine the changes in the frequency with which you see each other. You might not have spent too much time together when you first started seeing each other. Perhaps you went on dates now and then, but then you'd go many days without seeing each other. When things get a bit more serious, you'll likely notice that you'll see one another more often.
Instead of meeting up once a week or a few times per month, you might be going on dates multiple times weekly, which is one of the best signs that he wants to date you exclusively. Perhaps you're even spending most of your days off work with this person now. When a romantic interest starts spending more time with you and you find yourself drawn to them, it's a sign that there is chemistry there. You like being around each other, and your casual relationship may be headed toward something more substantial.
If you were dating other people at first, you might even find that your desire to seek others will diminish. Have you stopped seeing other people due to wanting to focus on the person you’re dating casually? Has the person in your life stopped dating others as well? This is undoubtedly a big sign that changes are taking place.
You might even notice that the topics of conversation are getting more serious between you two. Casual relationships might be about something other than developing a deep emotional bond. Some people seek an emotional connection in those situations, but it will be about casual fun for many. If you have started to open up to one another emotionally, then that's a big sign that you might be ready for a serious relationship.
If you still aren’t sure, you can always check out their social media accounts for more information. If you want to get more serious, but they’re flirting with other people online, that might be a sign they’re not ready to move forward. However, suppose they mostly seem to be “liking” posts regarding their interests and hobbies or posts of family and close friends you already know rather than chatting up other people. There’s a better chance they’re serious about you in that case.
Search your feelings
Searching for your feelings is an integral part of the process. You may be unable to tell outright how your romantic interest feels without directly asking them. Before taking that step, the best thing to do is be honest with yourself about how you feel.
What do you want out of this relationship? Are you merely attracted to this person, or do you desire something more? When a relationship becomes more about having sex or spending quality time together exclusively, it may become something more profound. You might sense this is where the relationship is heading, but you must consider how you feel about it first.
Remember that your feelings on the issue are essential. If you feel you might love this person you have been seeing, you shouldn't deny it. This could be a chance for a life-altering romance, or it could be something fleeting. Ultimately, your heart will know the answers.
Talk about it
Determining whether you're officially dating can be as simple as discussing it. Take the time to sit down together and talk about how things are going between you. Mention that you feel things have become more serious lately, and if the time is right, don't be afraid to mention that you like where it’s going.
You can then ask if your romantic interest would like to date officially instead of casually being involved with you. Confirming that your new partner wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you during this conversation will potentially be necessary. Keep in mind that some people do prefer open relationships or polyamorous lifestyles. If this isn't for you, and that's what your partner wants, your relationship might be unable to move forward.
Talking about these issues should help you figure out if you're dating. Dating someone seriously will involve a lot more commitment than a casual relationship. Your expectations are likely different, and you must ensure your partner knows what to expect. You also want to meet your new partner's needs, so a good conversation is necessary to determine that.
Getting into a committed relationship doesn't mean you must discuss moving in together or having children. Even so, it's crucial to understand what your partner desires out of life. If you're going to date someone seriously, you want to ensure that your core values and desires for the future align.
Start dating seriously
Starting to date seriously seems strange initially for some, but this will be natural for most people. If your casual relationship naturally evolved toward becoming more serious, things might not change that much. You can now explore your feelings for your partner more thoroughly and feel good about getting to know each other more deeply.
It might be good to try to spend more time together than usual to explore this ever-strengthening bond. You don't have to spend every waking moment together but seeing each other more often during the week will be nice. Take the time to talk and try to see where things are going. Do special things for your significant other and tell them what they mean to you. Dating seriously will open doors, and exploring these new avenues together should be exciting.
Remember that serious dating does sometimes come with complications as well. Communicating more regularly can lead to a greater chance of miscommunication. Seeing someone more often can be great, but it can also be challenging when you aren't used to dating seriously. If you love your partner and want this to work out, you should never be afraid to reach out for help if your relationship needs it. Every relationship goes through struggles from time to time, but you can overcome the growing pains of a new serious relationship with the help of professionals.
Get relationship clarity in online therapy
When you’re struggling with the uncertainty of whether your relationship is headed in the direction you want, it can take a toll on your mental well-being. But it’s important to remember that you and your partner see each other for a reason, and the person in your life may feel the same. The truth is, you may not know for sure until you have a candid conversation about it.
Many people have difficulty talking to others about issues such as these to the point that they feel “frozen” or physically distressed when faced with the idea. There could be many reasons for this, from self-esteem issues to past traumatic experiences in relationships. If you want to let your casual dating partner know how you feel but can’t do it without significant discomfort, seeking support from a professional counselor specializing in dating and intimacy can help.
Due to its convenience, affordability, and effectiveness, many people choose online counseling. The rise in popularity of telehealth allows platforms like Regain to help more people than ever. Regain can match you with a licensed, certified professional with experience tailored to meet your needs. You can speak to your counselor from anywhere with a reliable internet connection. Your counselor is available for appointments via phone, text, online chat, and video chat when it best fits your schedule.
Virtual help through Regain is often more affordable than conventional therapy without insurance, and a growing body of research shows it’s as effective for treating a wide range of mental health concerns.
Takeaway
If you need help with your love life, it’s important to understand that you’re not alone. Dating can be complicated, especially when intense feelings are involved from one side. Speaking with a professional can help you build self-esteem so you can go forth and date confidently.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do you know if we are dating or not?
When you’ve been seeing someone for a while but haven’t yet defined the relationship, it can be not very clear to try to figure out whether or not the two of you are officially dating! While the only way to truly know is to talk to the other person, there are a few clues you can look out for as well.
Are they the person you want to confide in when something happens? Have you met their friends? Do you expect to spend the weekends with them? Would you be upset if they were dating someone else? Are you able to be yourself around them?
If you answered yes to these questions, there’s a very good chance that the two of you are dating. But it’s important to have “the talk” with them to be sure that you’re both on the same page!
How long until you are officially dating?
Some relationship experts cite the “two-month rule” as the optimal amount of time to date someone before making things official. However, some people casually date for years without ever deciding to date officially, while others make things official almost immediately! When it comes down to it, the amount of time until you officially date depends on you as a couple, not an arbitrary number of months.
What are 3 types of dating?
Three different types of dating include dating for fun, dating to see, and dating to decide. Dating for fun is casual dating (sometimes mistakenly referred to as causal dating); it’s all about having a good time without commitment or plans for the future.
Dating to see is more experimental. This is the type of relationship where you’re really getting to know the other person to decide whether you’d be a good match. Finally, dating to decide is also known as courtship. It’s when two people are totally committed to each other, and their ultimate goal is to decide whether or not to get married.
Are we hanging out or dating?
If you haven’t had “the talk” to define the relationship with the person you’ve been spending time with, it can be difficult to know whether the two of you are just enjoying your time together or if it’s something more. But there are a few signs that can give you a pretty good idea of what’s going on. These can help you understand the difference between hanging out and dating.
First, do you only hang out at night? That points toward hanging out rather than dating. Do you only watch movies on Netflix rather than going out to the movies? Have you gone out to restaurants together? Do you enjoy activities aside from getting intimate with your partner? If you can say yes to these questions, you’re leaning more toward dating than hanging out.
You can also check out their social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, to get more information. If you think you’re dating, but they’re flirting with other people all over the internet, that might be a bit of a red flag. However, if they mostly seem to be liking health, fitness, and lifestyle posts (or other posts regarding their interests and hobbies, like fashion, beauty, and travel) rather than chatting up other people, there’s a better chance that they’re serious about you.
However, if you want to know your relationship status for sure, you’ll have to have that conversation with the person you’ve been spending time with! Aside from the two of you sitting down and defining the relationship, there’s no way to know with absolute certainty whether you’re hanging out or dating.
What are the stages of dating?
Nearly every relationship goes through a similar set of stages. First is the attraction stage or honeymoon phase. The average couple spends about three months in this stage, although it can last up to two years. You can see plenty of Getty Images pictures of couples gazing into each other’s eyes and holding hands; this type of idealized image generally represents the honeymoon period or attraction stage.
The second stage of dating is when reality sets in and you begin to feel a bit uncertain. You’ve noticed your partner’s flaws and potential reasons the relationship might not make it. Many relationships end during this period.
The third stage is characterized by disappointment. It’s a stage that lasts about a year when couples work together to overcome their differences and reach a point of stability in their relationship. If they’re successful, they move on to the fourth stage: stability. Most couples stay in the fourth stage for a couple of years, and at this point, they realize they no longer crave the feelings of the honeymoon phase because they’re happy to be with their current partner.
The fifth and last stage of dating is commitment. This is typically when a couple will get engaged and plan to spend the rest of their lives together in a long-term relationship or a marriage. A stable foundation has been built throughout the previous four stages, and now the couple is ready to enjoy the fruits of their labor. All the effort they put into getting to know one another and working through healthy conflict resolution has paid off.
How often do you see someone you're dating?
Some relationship experts recommend that in a new relationship, you should only see your new love interest once a week for the first month. After that point, you can then begin to increase the amount of time you spend together. This method keeps you from falling into the illusion that you’ve deeply bonded with someone you’ve just met. But every couple is different; some people have no problem spending time together infrequently while others quickly move in together.
Some couples even meet online and don’t see each other in person until months have passed, although they may chat with them online frequently. It’s always better to be safe than sorry on the internet!
What age is best to start dating?
On average, kids start to go on group dates when they’re about 13 years old, and by 15, most have begun to date individually. Many experts suggest allowing teens to begin dating at age 16. However, everyone is different, so if you started dating younger or older than 15 or 16, that’s totally fine! A successful relationship does take some maturity and life experience, though, so the chances are that relationships you get into at a very young age may not last forever.
How often should you talk to someone you're dating?
It’s unnecessary to talk to the person you’re dating every day, especially in a new relationship, unless that’s what you’re both comfortable with. Be careful not to let your new relationship take the place of friendships and other important parts of your life, though. But overall, you should talk to the person you’re dating as much as is wanted by both of you.
Why hasn't he asked me to be his girlfriend yet?
There are many reasons that the person you’ve been seeing hasn’t asked you to date officially yet. They may like the current situation and don’t want things to change, or they may still see other people casually. Other possibilities are that the person doesn’t want to move too quickly, that they aren’t quite sure if you’re the one, and that they know they’re not ready for anything serious. The best thing to do if you’ve seen each other for a while is to have an open conversation about your relationship status!
What is a sexless relationship called?
A sexless relationship is typically referred to simply as a sexless relationship. This term refers to a relationship in which the couple has sex less than once a month or less than ten times per year. This isn’t necessarily unhealthy; for example, if both partners have extremely low sex drives and feel satisfied with a sexless relationship, that’s totally fine. It only becomes an issue if one or both partners’ needs aren’t being met.
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