Which Behaviors Are Associated With The Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style?

Attachment theory claims that childhood attachments lay the blueprint for people’s attachment styles throughout life. The anxious-preoccupied attachment style can develop when a child’s caregiver alternates between being nurturing and being emotionally unavailable. Those who have anxious attachment can exhibit behaviors like jealousy, clinginess, and emotional overinvestment in adult romantic relationships. Individual and couples therapy can help people heal from anxious attachment.

What is attachment theory?

Attachment theory was created by psychologist John Bowlby. He claimed that human emotions and behavior are based on social and emotional bonds and that the most important bonds are between a child and their primary caregivers. According to Bowlby’s attachment theory, child–caregiver bonding typically forms a person’s attachment style into adulthood, and secure caregiver attachment tends to be required for secure attachments throughout life.

What are the different attachment styles?

Attachment theory outlines four types of attachment. These include secure, anxious (also called preoccupied), avoidant, and disorganized. 

Secure attachment style: The healthiest adult attachment style

The secure attachment style is usually characterized by safety and ease in relationships. In a romantic relationship where both partners have a secure attachment style, they may feel emotionally safe and trusting of one another, and they may experience a mix of emotional closeness and independence. Securely attached adults typically know how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and resolve conflicts. Secure childhood attachment can empower a person to develop healthy adult relationships.

Insecure attachment styles

An insecure attachment style can fall into three categories:

• Anxious-preoccupied: The anxious attachment style, also called anxious-ambivalent attachment in children, is primarily characterized by a child’s fear of abandonment. 
• Avoidant: A child with an avoidant attachment style may resist physical contact, appear unfazed when a caregiver leaves or returns, and fail to seek comfort from a caregiver when upset. 
• Disorganized: A child with a disorganized attachment style usually alternates between seeking comfort and creating emotional distance.

How do childhood experiences and feelings lead to insecure attachment?

Insecure attachments often begin in early childhood, when an infant’s caregiver does not promote healthy bonding. Certain circumstances, such as abuse, neglect, trauma, unpredictable behavior, or emotional unavailability, can make this more likely to occur, and insecure attachment can negatively affect children’s lives, even into adulthood. 

How insecure attachment affects children, their feelings, and their behaviors

Insecure attachments can affect children emotionally, psychologically, cognitively, and socially. Children with insecure attachment styles may experience anxiety disorders, depression symptoms, aggression, withdrawal, and poor social relationships. These difficulties can persist into adolescence and adulthood. 

How does childhood fear relate to adult attachment styles?

Fear plays a role in the development of attachment styles. For example, with anxious-preoccupied attachment, the child tends to fear abandonment. Meanwhile, with disorganized attachment, the child usually fears the caregiver’s inconsistency, unpredictable emotional unavailability, or abuse. Finally, the avoidant attachment style typically involves a fear of losing one’s independence due to emotional intimacy. The psychological patterns created in childhood can carry over into adulthood, laying the foundation for insecure adult attachment styles.

What is the anxious-preoccupied attachment style?

The anxious attachment style is characterized by a strong need for emotional intimacy. A deep-seated fear of abandonment is another vital aspect of this attachment style.

How anxious-preoccupied attachment develops

Children with anxious-preoccupied attachment tend to be fearful and highly needy. Anxious attachment usually develops when a child’s caregiver doesn’t exhibit consistent behavior. When a caregiver is sometimes nurturing and, at other times, is emotionally unavailable, a child can become anxious about whether their needs will be met. They may crave emotional or physical closeness and fear abandonment. This can lead to intense anxiety about their relationships with caregivers.

What behaviors are associated with preoccupied attachment in adults?

These challenges can lead to relationship and mental health difficulties, but they can be addressed with professional guidance.

Preoccupied attachment and adult relationships: How childhood experiences and fear impact adults

Anxious-preoccupied adults often have low self-esteem and can display the behaviors listed above. People with anxious attachment tend to exhibit behaviors that have a damaging effect on adult relationships, especially romantic relationships. Behaving in a clingy and emotionally unstable way can contribute to unnecessary conflict and even push partners away, potentially reinforcing a person’s fear of development. Anxious attachment is also considered a risk factor for social anxiety disorder.

How can you treat preoccupied attachment and cultivate mental health? 

Therapy can be an effective way to address preoccupied attachment and related mental health challenges. A therapist can help you investigate how your attachment style developed as a child. Therapy can also promote self-awareness and help you modify negative thought patterns, potentially resolving internal conflict and leading to improved mental health. 

Online therapy can be a convenient way to receive professional support, particularly for busy individuals or those who can’t easily attend therapy in person. Users can choose between video, audio, and online chat sessions at times that suit their schedules, and they can attend sessions individually or with their partners.

Research suggests that online therapy produces the same outcomes as in-person therapy. Both options can provide individuals with high-quality, evidence-based care.

How can you build a more secure attachment with your partner?

Relationship counseling may be one way to develop a more secure attachment with your partner. Individual self-improvement efforts can also promote more relationship security.

Couples counseling for mental health concerns related to the preoccupied attachment style

Couples counseling may help you and your partner with the following:

• Developing effective emotion regulation skills
• Actively listening to and understanding each person’s viewpoint 
• Communicating with each other in a healthy way
• Practicing conflict resolution skills
• Facilitating emotional closeness