Exploring Attachment Theory: How Do Childhood Experiences Impact Relationships?
Key takeaways
- Attachment theory suggests that the types of bonds that children form with their caregivers go on to influence their relationships in adulthood.
- However, attachment styles are not necessarily set in stone: even if you had an insecure attachment pattern in childhood, you can take steps to adjust your adult attachment style and form stronger, healthier bonds.
- For professional support, you can learn more about attachment theory and cultivate greater attachment security in relationship therapy.
According to attachment theory, the type of bond a person forms with their primary caregiver in early childhood can influence their adult relationships and overall emotional development. These infant attachment patterns can be categorized into a few different types, referred to as “attachment styles,” which can involve varying levels of trust in the primary attachment figure and different reactions to their absence and return. After childhood, these attachment styles may continue to affect an individual’s attitudes, needs, and behaviors in romantic relationships and friendships. However, attachment behaviors are not necessarily set in stone. If you did not have secure attachment relationships in childhood, there are ways to adjust your adult attachment style and cultivate greater attachment security.
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory was first introduced by psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded upon by developmental psychologist Mary D. Salter Ainsworth. Some of the key ideas in attachment theory include the following:
- Humans have an evolutionary need to create close emotional bonds.
- It is especially important for infants to form close bonds with their caregivers, with the attachment behavioral system activating during times of stress.
- The repeated interactions an infant has with their caregiver make up an attachment pattern, which informs a child’s views of themself and others in relationships, referred to as “internal working models.”
- An infant’s attachment system can influence later relationships, emotional stability, and emotional development.
How does parental behavior influence attachment style in children?
To assess a child’s attachment processes and patterns, Ainsworth developed the Strange Situation procedure, which involves subjecting the child to increasing amounts of stress related to a strange environment, the entrance of an unfamiliar person, and separations from the parent. How the child reacts to these situations can reveal if they are insecurely or securely attached to the parent.
Secure attachment in children
When a child has a secure attachment style, they generally feel comforted by the presence of their caregiver in times of distress. In addition, they are able to use their caregiver as a “secure base” that allows them to go out and explore their surroundings in times of calm.
Insecure attachment in children
Insecure attachment can come in a few different forms in children, including ambivalent, disorganized, and avoidant attachment. Insecure attachment might arise due to negative interactions with the parent or caregiver, such as emotional neglect, abuse, inconsistent parenting behavior, high levels of stress, and trauma.
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How do attachment styles influence adult relationships?
Per attachment theory, the bonds formed in childhood with parents and caregivers typically continue to influence how a person perceives and behaves in other significant relationships throughout their life. These relationships can be with romantic partners, friends, family members, and others.
The impact of attachment style on needs and behavior in relationships
In adult relationships, a person’s attachment style can impact various relationship dynamics, including the following:
- How comfortable they feel with emotional intimacy
- How much they trust their partner
- How comfortable they feel expressing their needs
- How they respond to conflict
- How they balance independence and emotional closeness
The exact ways attachment style affects relationships can vary from one person to the next, but there are usually common tendencies in each attachment style. For instance, someone with an avoidant attachment style might feel uncomfortable with emotional intimacy, have a fear of vulnerability, and prioritize their own independence.
How can you develop a more secure attachment style?
While the types of attachments formed in childhood can influence later relationships, that does not mean that these attachment styles are completely fixed. With effort and intention, you can address negative relationship patterns and learn to form more secure attachments.
Learning more about attachment theory and attachment styles in therapy
For those who want professional support with attachment-related concerns, therapy can be a valuable place to start. In sessions with a licensed therapist, you can learn more about attachment theory, discover your own attachment style, and address the unique concerns that may be affecting the quality of your relationships. Research shows that online couples therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy, so you can seek help in whichever setting you prefer.
Digging into childhood experiences and early attachments with parents can often bring up intense emotions. For those who would feel more comfortable discussing these topics in the comfort of their own home, online relationship therapy may be a good option that allows individuals to choose whether they’d like to attend sessions alone or with their partner.
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Other tips for building more stable relationships
Beyond seeking therapy, there are other steps that may help you build more stable relationships:
- Learning more about attachment styles online
- Journaling to better understand your tendencies in relationships
- Working to develop healthy communication skills with your partner
- Practicing self-awareness to identify and alter negative behavior patterns
Takeaway
Attachment theory is a prominent theory regarding relationships. It suggests that the types of bonds that children form with their caregivers go on to influence their relationships in adulthood, as well as various aspects of their emotional development. However, there are ways to modify your attachment style and build more secure relationships. For professional support, you can learn more about attachment theory and attachment styles through in-person or online relationship therapy with a licensed therapist.
What are the four principles of attachment theory?
Attachment theory describes four main attachment styles in adults: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles are collectively referred to as insecure attachment. In children, there can also be ambivalent or anxious-resistant attachment.
What is Bowlby's theory of attachment?
In general, Bowlby’s theory of attachment provides a framework for understanding how early child relationships affect adult romantic relationships and other intimate relationships. Securely attached children grow up with internal working models that enable them to form healthy future relationships.
What is Freud's attachment theory?
Freud’s attachment theory differs from Bowlby’s and emphasizes mother-infant attachment. Specifically, Freud believed that infants obtain pleasure from mouthing and sucking objects, and he theorized that infants become attached to the person or object that provides this pleasure.
What is an avoidant attachment?
An avoidant attachment typically involves a fear of losing one’s independence. Those with an avoidant attachment style may pull away from relationships if pushed to be vulnerable, make commitments, or share their needs and emotions. Meanwhile, someone with an anxious attachment style tends to fear abandonment and may experience separation anxiety.
What mental illness is associated with attachment issues?
There are two main attachment disorders that can occur in children, according to attachment research. These include reactive attachment disorder and disinhibited social engagement disorder.
What are the four stages of attachment theory?
The four stages of attachment relate to infant attachment behaviors and include the following:
- Pre-attachment stage (Birth to six weeks of age) - No attachment to a specific caregiver
- Indiscriminate stage (Six weeks to seven months of age) - Preference for primary and secondary caregivers
- Discriminate stage (Seven months and older) - Strong attachment to one specific caregiver
- Multiple (10 months and older) - Bonds with multiple caregivers
What are the core beliefs of attachment theory?
Bowlby’s attachment theory centers on children’s attachment behaviors and how they can impact their future relationships. The way children form attachments with their caregivers can impact not only child development but also overall human development by creating mental representations of oneself and connections with others.
What is the most famous attachment theory?
John Bowlby’s attachment theory is generally viewed as the most famous attachment theory. However, Freud also had an attachment theory focusing on early attachment experiences in infants.
How is attachment theory used in therapy?
Attachment theory can be used in therapy to help people understand their childhood experiences and adult relationships. As the attachment bond a person forms with caregivers can significantly impact them in adult life, gaining insight into one’s attachment style tends to be beneficial.
Is attachment theory part of psychodynamic therapy?
Attachment theory is a part of psychodynamic therapy. You can learn more about this theory from attachment researchers in the Infant Mental Health Journal.
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