Support When In A Relationship With Someone Who Has Depression And Anxiety

Updated January 3, 2025by Regain Editorial Team

Mental health plays a major role in overall well-being and can impact social, emotional, and psychological balance. It can profoundly influence an individual’s thought processes, perceptions of the surrounding world, stress management, and interactions with others. The challenges associated with conditions like depression and anxiety often go unseen and can cast a shadow on interpersonal relationships, which may require an approach that fosters a supportive and healthy bond. 

When in a relationship with someone with depression, a deepened understanding of mental health issues and the cultivation of empathy are crucial. Additionally, implementing practical strategies, emphasizing self-care, and engaging professional support can be transformative in preserving a healthy relationship and overcoming potential obstacles.

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Is your partner experiencing mental health struggles?
Online therapy can help you support them

Understanding mental health struggles

Mental health struggles, such as depression and anxiety, can manifest in a variety of ways. Common disorders include depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A specific set of symptoms and behaviors accompanies each condition. Depression often triggers feelings of hopelessness, anxiety can lead to constant worry, bipolar disorder might cause extreme mood swings, and PTSD may result in flashbacks and severe anxiety. These symptoms can impact an individual’s behavior, emotions, and, consequently, their relationships. For instance, a person with depression might withdraw from loved ones, while someone with anxiety might struggle with trust issues. Recognizing these signs and understanding how they affect a person’s interactions is a vital step in providing support and maintaining a healthy relationship amidst mental health struggles.

The role of empathy and understanding 

Empathy plays a pivotal role in supporting a partner grappling with mental health struggles. It involves more than simply acknowledging their pain; it is about truly understanding their perspective and sharing in their emotional experience. To cultivate this deeper understanding, one can start by actively listening to their partner’s experience and feelings, being open to learning about their conditions, and avoiding assumptions or generalizations about their struggles.

Unfortunately, stigma and judgment can often exacerbate mental health issues, making the individual feel isolated or misunderstood. These barriers can hinder open communication and prevent the individual from seeking help. Breaking down these barriers requires intentionally challenging societal stereotypes about mental health and fostering an environment of acceptance. It’s about creating a safe space where a partner feels seen, heard, and supported to strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Maintaining mental health

When providing support to a partner with mental health struggles, an individual may encounter what’s known as “compassion fatigue,” which can lead to them neglecting their own mental health. It’s a state of emotional and physical exhaustion, often resulting from prolonged exposure to the distress of others. Self-care strategies are crucial to combat this. These could include regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, mindfulness practices, and setting aside time for enjoyable activities or hobbies. 

Maintaining mental wellness also involves setting boundaries to ensure personal needs are met. It’s important to recognize when to step back and take a breather, potentially preventing burnout. Seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals, is important during the healing process. Forbes says, “You may want to consider getting psychological help yourself, especially if you live with a depressed person. It’s important to take care of yourself so that you don’t end up feeling guilty and become depressed. Consider joining a support group and making an effort to get out and spend time with other friends and relatives. Recovery from depression is a slow process for all involved, so make sure to support your own mental and physical health along the way.” It is important to remember that it is not only okay but necessary to ask for help if needed. Everyone deserves care, including those who care for others.

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Navigating roadblocks from depression and anxiety

Supporting a partner with depression and anxiety can come with challenges, including a partner’s resistance to help or denial about their condition. To overcome these challenges, patience and open communication are key. It is important to express concerns without judgment and focus on the concern behind the discussion. Forbes recommends, “It is important to remind yourself that you don’t have to correct or fix any problems your partner might be having. Instead, what you should do is ‘hold space.’ If your partner is having a moment of extreme anxiety or anger (that might be more about them than you), try your best to let them know that you both are in this together. When faced with a difficult situation, replace dismissive comments like ‘You should have known how to handle the situation better,’ with ‘I see that you tried your best.’”

In some cases, the partner might be more receptive to perspectives outside the relationship. Seeking couples therapy may be beneficial in some situations because it can provide a neutral party, teach communication strategies, and address mental health concerns in the relationship. Other options might include individual counseling or support groups that can offer space to discuss experiences and receive practical advice. Navigating roadblocks may be challenging, but with patience and understanding, progress is possible. 

The power of love and patience when in a relationship with someone who has depression and anxiety

Undoubtedly, love plays a major role in supporting a partner with mental health struggles. It forms a foundation of understanding, compassion, and care. However, it is important to remember that while love is a force, it is not a cure for mental health conditions. 

Patience also plays a vital role in the healing and coping process. Since progress may be slow and non-linear at times, patience helps individuals stand by their partner through the ups and downs. Being patient with a partner on their healing journey shows they are respected and cared for. 
Celebrating small victories together is an essential part of this process. It could be as simple as a good therapy appointment or acknowledging a day with fewer anxiety symptoms. These celebrations not only encourage future progress but also reinforce the bond between partners.

Strategies for support

Encouraging open communication about mental health is a crucial starting point for offering support. A partner may want to focus on creating a judgment-free environment where feelings, fears, and concerns can be openly discussed. Patience, compassion, and active listening are key elements in this process. It is important to give the individual time to express themselves, show understanding, and genuinely engage with them about their feelings is important. 

Additionally, it is important to balance this support with encouraging the partner’s independence and self-care. This could mean supporting them in maintaining routines, pursuing hobbies, or making healthy choices. In some situations, professional help may be a valuable resource. Therapists, counselors, and other mental health professionals can provide guidance and resources. The goal is to foster a supportive environment for both partners that allows them to heal and focus on their well-being. 

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Is your partner experiencing mental health struggles?
Online therapy can help you support them

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy can be a particularly beneficial tool for couples navigating mental health struggles. It offers a convenient and available platform for professional guidance, which can be critical in understanding and managing these challenges. Especially for those supporting a partner with mental health struggles, it provides an opportunity to gain insight into their partner’s condition, learn effective communication strategies, and also address their own mental well-being. Additionally, individuals can get support from the comfort of home, reducing the potential stress of traveling and allowing for more focus on the therapy. 

Virtual therapy for couples with depression

One study states, “Videoconferencing is an emerging medium through which psychological therapy, including relationship interventions for couples, can be delivered. Understanding clients’ expectations and experiences of receiving therapy through this medium is important for optimizing future delivery. This study used a qualitative methodology to explore the expectations and experiences of couples throughout the process of the Couple CARE program, which was delivered through videoconferencing.” The study results showed, “Couples consistently described being able to effectively connect with the therapist, and that the video actually enhanced the therapeutic alliance, due to a greater perceived focus on therapy processes. Overall, despite some initial concerns, the majority of couples found the videoconferencing experience to be beneficial and positive.” This evidence further reinforces the benefits of online therapy for couples navigating mental health struggles; the delivery of relationship interventions via videoconferencing revealed positive outcomes.

Counselor reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”


“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time… She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”


Takeaway

Supporting a partner through depression and anxiety includes understanding the condition, communicating with empathy, and overcoming challenges together. This requires patience, compassion, and resilience from everyone involved. Professional assistance could offer expert guidance and perspective in some cases. It is also important to focus on self-care to ensure the supportive partner can maintain their wellness. Those navigating relationships with partners battling mental illness can remember that each small step can signify progress. The love, patience, and effort they supply are invaluable. Even so, help and resources are available, and it is valid to seek support while offering it to others.

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