Anxiety And Sex: Tips For Managing Your Nervousness

By Robert Porter|Updated April 28, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Dawn Brown, LPC

For some people, anxiety and sex go hand-in-hand. If you experience anxiety, the idea of sex may trigger feelings of fear or distress. Maybe this is a barrier to the sexual intimacy you would like to experience.

Feelings of nervousness around sex may emerge due to various reasons. Some people may feel insecure due to body image concerns. Others may feel nervous about whether their sexual performance will satisfy their partner’s desires. Whatever uneasiness you may be experiencing around sex, certain tips can help you to manage your nervousness.

Anxiety And Sex: Talk With Your Partner About Any Concerns

It is important to communicate openly with your partner about the feelings you are experiencing. If you are avoiding sexual activity, your partner may wonder if they did something wrong. It may feel uncomfortable or awkward to have this conversation, but it is ultimately a positive step towards understanding.

If you are experiencing sexual performance anxiety, then let your partner know that you’re worried that you won’t be able to please them. They will most likely try to set your mind at ease, which might be enough to assuage your fears. Of course, some people have sexual anxiety for other reasons.

Past sexual abuse can also contribute to anxiety around sexual intimacy. You may consider processing what you have experienced with a licensed mental health professional. If you feel comfortable, opening up your partner could also help them understand you better and determine how to best support you.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support and resources.

Learn To Be Intimate Without Intercourse

You don’t necessarily have to have intercourse with your partner to be intimate. Some people are nervous about vaginal intercourse, but they might be open to the idea of other types of sex. There are many ways that you can be intimate with your partner without having sex. Even cuddling or kissing can help you to feel a sense of closeness with your significant other.

You might also think about ways to strengthen your emotional bond, whether through carving out the time for meaningful conversations or continuing to learn more about each other. Prioritizing emotional intimacy can help to grow your relationship as well.

Consider Seeing A Counselor or Therapist

Consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist if you are experiencing anxiety around sex. Online therapy provides an affordable and convenient option for receiving support from the comfort of your own home.

Through Regain, you can work with a licensed therapist to address the challenges you are facing. They can assist you in processing the uneasiness you are experiencing around sex and developing tools for communicating with your partner. Over time, you might find that your fears become less intense, and you can connect sexually without experiencing distress. This process takes time, however seeking support to begin working through your fears is the first step towards more fulfillment in this area of your life.

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