Saving A Marriage: Seven Considerations And Tips

Updated September 14, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

Whenever a marriage seems to be in peril, wanting to save that union can be a natural reaction. Many individuals have invested years, if not decades, into this type of partnership; it's understandable when they want things to work out. However, there can be important details, considerations, and tips to be aware of when it comes to saving a marriage. Some marriages can be saved, while others cannot. Knowing yourself, your spouse, and what options you have going forward can prove to be of value to you by allowing you to make the right decision for yourself and your marriage. If you desire to save your marriage, consider the seven tips contained in this article.

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Want To Do Everything You Can To Save Your Marriage?

A Brief Word On Marriage

Marriage in the modern era has certainly changed from where it was decades ago. More and more individuals choose to get married later in life, and although most couples believe their marriages will last forever, up to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Every marriage is different and has its own dynamics. Not all marriages end for the same reasons or under the same circumstances. Nevertheless, having a clear idea of factors linked to hurting marriages can be advantageous, especially for couples going through a rough period. 

 A healthy, successful marriage requires patience, commitment, and mutual dedication, which can take a lot of hard work. If both parties aren't all in and determined to invest time and energy into their marriage, it can be difficult to maintain the relationship. It’s not unheard of for a struggling marriage to have one person who is all in while the other doesn't care all that much to save it. Being on the same page can help foster a marriage that lasts. 

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Considerations And Tips For Saving Your Marriage

How you go about saving your relationship can greatly influence your results. When you think your marriage is in peril, the last thing you want to do is accidentally or inadvertently make matters worse. This is why being cognizant of the proper considerations and acceptable manner of saving your relationship can be relevant. All this said, there are some critical considerations and tips that you deserve to know when it comes to saving your relationship. These include:

Know What Hurts A Marriage

Understanding the factors and circumstances which adversely impact marriage can be critical; this information may save a marriage before it reaches the brink of ending altogether. Poor communication, deception, infidelity, and other matters of this nature place strain on marriages and can sometimes end them. Finances also play a role; if two married people have vastly different ideas on acceptable ways to earn, spend, save, or invest money, this can quickly cause problems. Resentment, anger, and other negative feelings have a way of festering and eventually exploding when the original issues at hand aren't dealt with. If you pay attention to these elements of your marriage, it is possible to save it before it becomes irreparable. 

Consider Your Part In The Issues

When looking to fix a broken marriage, it can be easy to analyze your partner’s shortcomings or errors. When it comes to marriage, rarely does all the blame lie upon one person. Being cognizant of the role you might have played in any issues which are currently underway can be helpful for repairing the relationship. This doesn't mean beating yourself up, but merely acknowledging areas where you went wrong and then committing to not repeating these same mistakes. This requires time, reflection, and discipline, but it can be done.

Compromise

Marriage is all about give and take. No one partner can have their way all the time without causing serious issues. Compromising can require both you and your partner to come together and make accommodations if you think your marriage can be saved. You may not be able to get your own way all the time, but you can reach a mutually satisfying middle ground. Saving your relationship is about working together and putting your heads together to make the relationship thrive.

Talk About The Problems

If your marriage is in trouble, the chances are that you and your spouse have at least some idea of what could be contributing to this dynamic. Talking about the problems you’re facing can allow you to come up with the right solutions; talking further allows you and your partner to hear each other out. Holding onto hurt feelings, resentment, and anger can be counterproductive to saving your relationship. To achieve a more positive outcome, both you and your spouse will likely need to communicate about the tough issues. If you find this difficult, you could consider getting advice from a couples therapist. 

Take Care Of Yourselves As Individuals

When you're not at your healthiest as an individual, you may not be in the position to give your relationship your all, especially if your marriage is struggling. Therefore, it can be critical for both you and your spouse to engage in healthy doses of self-care. Self-care can be as simple as exercising, taking a day off, going to the spa, or otherwise refreshing yourself. Everyone needs to recharge from time to time, and knowing when to step back can ensure that you have a clearer head as you move throughout the journey of saving your relationship.

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Want To Do Everything You Can To Save Your Marriage?

Make Time For One Another

As you and your significant other work toward saving your marriage, it can be important to make time for one another. This can be as simple as going on a date, spending time together after work, or even talking to each other before bed. Engaging in activities that both partners enjoy can be another way to bond and make memories together. Time is something you can’t get back and giving it to your partner can show how much you care.

Give It Time

Saving your relationship can be done, but rarely does it happen overnight. Just like it didn’t take a single Valentine’s Day to fall in love with each other, it can take time and effort to make things whole again. In most cases, it takes time for serious issues to develop and can therefore take time for solutions to be put into place. Try to remain patient with your spouse as you come up with fixes together. The mutual interest in saving your relationship can be a positive sign that there's still something worth fighting for. Some days may be more difficult than others, and that's okay. When it's all said and done, you both can come out on the other end of this, stronger than ever.

Online Counseling With Regain

Saving your relationship may not be an easy feat, depending on the nature of the existing problems at hand. Therefore, you and your spouse may find seeking professional help to be beneficial. With Regain, an online counseling platform, you can attend individual or couples counseling right from home. You and your spouse may have demanding careers or children, making it difficult to find local counseling services that meet your needs. With online counseling, you can speak to a therapist at a time that accommodates both of your schedules and from anywhere you have an internet connection. If you and your partner are willing to put in the work it takes to save your marriage, a therapist could be instrumental in the process. 

The Effectiveness Of Online Counseling 

Online counseling interventions can be helpful for couples hoping to save their marriage. In one study, researchers found that a web-based couples therapy program successfully allowed couples to identify and overcome the issues they were facing in their relationship. The OurRelationship intervention utilized integrative behavioral couples therapy (IBCT) to teach participants how to understand their partner on a deeper level and accept their flaws. Over time, couples were able to make lasting changes in their relationship through structured conversations to ultimately improve relationship satisfaction

The Takeaway

All relationships take maintenance and effort to work, and marriages are no exception. While conflict is inevitable in any union, it can be important to know how to move past these obstacles as a team. If your marriage seems to be nearing its end, it can be important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how to move forward. While most marriages can be saved, both spouses must be committed to the process. To receive support and guidance as you try to improve your union, consider confiding in a licensed marriage therapist. Regain can connect you with a couples therapist who can help you identify the issues in your marriage and equip you with the tools for overcoming them. Creating a healthy, strong marriage is possible when you have patience, support, and a willingness to work as a unit. 

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