10 Pieces Of Marriage Advice For Struggling Relationships

If you are facing common marriage problems, you are not alone. Most couples find themselves experiencing conflict and other marriage struggles at some point. These issues are normal in marriages, despite how isolating marital issues can feel. Maintaining a happy relationship with someone is much more difficult than it seems. Luckily, there are solutions to help resolve marital problems and manage conflict. Here are ten pieces of the best marriage advice for those who are in a struggling relationship:

Always practice forgiveness

There are no perfect marriages because they are all made up of imperfect people. They may have a quirk that frustrates you, or you may still be angry about something they did a year ago. To make a marriage work, you must be willing to forgive your spouse for what angers or hurts you. If your spouse is not taking advantage of your forgiveness and is sincerely trying to be better, take steps towards forgiveness no matter how often necessary.

Whether your spouse made a small mistake or one that was detrimental to your marriage, you must take steps to forgive them. Some of the best methods to start the process of forgiving are finding a way to get rid of resentment, practicing great communication, and trying your best to get back on track to an agreement. It may take a while to forgive your spouse completely, but you are helping your marriage if you both are making progress.

Don't be too stubborn to apologize

Just like how you must forgive your spouse, you must ask them for forgiveness in return to help resolve relationship problems. Many people have problems setting aside their pride to apologize-even when they know they are wrong. A lack of humility and refusing to apologize can damage any relationship, not just romantic partnerships. Showing remorse for wrongdoings is very important when trying to heal relationships. It can help you and your partner get back on track towards healing and happiness.

One recent study shows that an apology can change how the person who was wronged processes the hurt. Apologizing or showing remorse by the harm-doer can reduce the victim's negative emotions and even vengeful behavior. The power of an apology is worth setting aside pride, especially when dealing with marital problems. If you ever find yourself in the wrong, remember to give your partner a sincere apology for your actions.

Devote time to develop a deep friendship

Most people have heard couples refer to each other as their best friend, but did you know this idea is one of the keys to a happy marriage? According to Dr. John Gottman, the Gottman Method developer, having a deep and meaningful friendship with your spouse leads to a happier marriage that lasts. Dr. Gottman recommends devoting time to develop a friendship with your spouse and manage conflict in a healthy way.

If you feel you and your spouse don't have a deep friendship as your marriage foundation, try to build one. You can do this by spending more time together, getting to know each other, or finding a common interest. Look at how you develop friendships with others to get inspiration for ways to build and maintain a friendship with your spouse.

Practice healthy communication skills

When it comes to marriages, healthy and effective communication is crucial. Many people struggle with lashing out and often find themselves in a yelling match with their partner. Getting out of the vicious cycle of screaming is very beneficial for helping a marriage succeed. When you or your partner feel like they are about to reach this point of anger, take a timeout and come back to talk later. Try to be very clear and calm when managing conflict with your spouse at all times. Making a point to practice healthy communication with your partner can help turn your marriage around.

When arguing, try to resolve the argument, not win it

Along with having healthy communication skills, you should focus on your mindset when you and your partner conflict. Have you ever had the desire to win an argument and were willing to do or say anything for your partner to lose? To have a strong and happy marriage, this mindset must be eliminated.

Oftentimes, people find themselves looking at their spouse as opponents, and they try to win arguments. This can result in harmful and devastating words being said to the person you care about most. When experiencing conflict, look at your spouse as your teammate, and your marriage is the prize. It can take a lot of humility to accept not winning an argument but having a happy and healthy marriage is well worth it.

Support each other's goals and aspirations.

Dr. John Gottman, who is mentioned above, tells his followers and clients to support their spouse's dreams. One of the principles in his Sound Relationship House Theory is "Make Dreams Come True." He recommends couples encourage each other to talk about their aspirations and help each other meet their goals. To do this, the couple must create a welcoming atmosphere to hope and dream.

Be sure to never talk down to your spouse when they express their aspirations. Just like your goals are very important to you, your spouse's goals are very important to them. To add some spark to your relationship, ask your partner how you can help make their dreams come true or how their progress is going. This will show them you care about them, and they are sure to appreciate your support.

See a therapist once you start struggling, rather than a last-ditch effort.

On average, couples endure six years of being unhappy before seeking help from a marriage counselor. This is because one or both spouses are hesitant to go, or the couple believes they can work through their reoccurring issues on their own. While most couples are more than capable of resolving short-term problems, counseling can be a helpful resource and method to reach happiness again.

Marital counseling is more effective for people when they seek help once problems start to arise. This is why marital counseling should not be a last-ditch effort. Your marriage is important, so don't put off seeking professional help to resolve your marital problems. If you feel you or your spouse cannot reach happiness on your own, don't hesitate to turn to marital counseling for unbiased advice.

Try to understand your partner's feelings

When experiencing conflict with your partner, try to listen to them and truly understand their feelings. This can be not easy, especially when you disagree with them, but understanding them is very beneficial. If you take a moment to understand why they are upset or angry, you can better understand how to diffuse the conflict. After recognizing why they are feeling the way they are, you can also make an effort to avoid the situation again.

Understanding what makes your partner angry or what hurts their feelings gives you insight into how they think. Your partner wants you to understand them, just like you want to be understood. Developing a great understanding of each other can lead to deeper intimacy and relational growth. The next time you are in a disagreement with your partner, try to use language like, "I understand what you are saying." or "I understand how you feel." You will likely find that you experience less conflict and better communication this way.

Invest in relationship books and tools.

Relationship development books can seem like an added chore on top of everyday responsibilities. Reading chapters and discussing what you learned with your partner may seem like the most exciting part of your week. However, if you pick the right books for your marriage, having a one-on-one book club with your spouse can be enjoyable. Don't be afraid to do some searching for the right book for you and your spouse to read. Look at reviews and descriptions to see if you are interested in the book. Be sure your partner is also willing to read a relationship development book and is excited about it as well.

If you and your spouse are not fans of reading, you can also try relationship tools. These tools come in the form of questionnaires or activities for you and your spouse to get to know each other in a fun way. Many marriage tools are free online, so be sure to try some out. Marriage counselors can also give their clients tools to understand better and appreciate their partners.

Go on dates again

Many married couples forget to schedule dates with each other. It can be easy to forget to date your spouse because you see them at home and feel you already see enough of them. The truth is, continuing to date your spouse can continue to keep sparks flying. Scheduling time together to be intentional about talking and having fun with your spouse can make your marriage much more enjoyable.

When you first started your relationship, you and your spouse likely went on fun dates and tried to get to know each other. This is what made dating enjoyable and caused the butterflies you used to feel after a great date. Try to set up these dates with your partner again, possibly to places you went before you were married. This can help you two remember you're happy memories and encourage more positivity in your relationship today.

 The best advice of all

Some of the best advice for married couples in struggling relationships is: Show your partner you love them. Everyone loves to know they are loved and appreciated, especially by their spouse. Show your spouse you love and care for them by practicing some of the tips to handle marriage problems. Try to understand which the best way is to show your spouse you care for them, as many people will respond best to different ways.

Sometimes, even knowing some of the marriage tips for newlyweds is not enough. Do not hesitate to reach out to a relationship counselor if you feel the two of you cannot help your marriage on your own. As mentioned above, many people wait years before they seek help from a licensed professional. Getting counseling sooner than later is oftentimes much more effective for couples. Marriage counseling can be the solution you need to work through your problems and get your marriage back on track.