"My Husband Ignores Me": How to Get the Spark Back

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How do you deal with an ignoring husband?

If you find that your husband doesn’t seem to be acknowledging you, then there are a few things you can do to deal with an ignoring husband. If you find that your husband doesn’t want to spend time with you like he used to, or if your husband doesn’t seem interested in you anymore, then this advice could help you win the love back in your marriage.

First, you should consider any reasons your husband might be withdrawing from the marriage. It might not be about the marriage itself; he may be facing something extremely difficult at work or having a problem with his mental health. Whatever the case, though, it’s not easy when your husband ignores you.

Then, it would help if you mentioned to your husband how you feel. Use “I feel” statements, and be sure to avoid blaming him for anything. It’s possible that your husband isn’t aware of how you feel ignored, and if that’s the case, kindly and calmly pointing it out to him can be just the catalyst for positive change that the marriage needs. You might even take the time to write all of this down in a letter that explains how you feel that your husband ignores you. Then, you can either give the letter to your husband or use the letter as a template to guide the conversation about your feelings. Writing it all down will give you a better chance to assess and organize your thoughts and feelings about how your husband ignores you.

Also, remember that men and women perceive things differently. This means that it’s possible that your husband isn’t aware of just how much time to spend with you. He may perceive that he is spending plenty of time listening and responding to you while you feel that your husband ignores you. Once you point it out to him, though, if the pattern persists after a long time, then there might be other issues to work through to stop feeling like your husband ignoring you.

If you’ve communicated all of these things to your husband, but your husband isn’t responsive or doesn’t believe that he actually ignores you, then it’s time to consider marriage counseling or couples’ therapy. This kind of therapy can help identify the reasons and reactions if your husband ignores you. In couples’ therapy, the wife and husband can work through all of the feelings and nuances that spring up when a husband ignores, or seems to be ignoring, his wife. Marriage counseling can provide a means and a safe space where a wife and her husband work through all of the underlying problems, including all the different perceptions between men and women and even any undiagnosed mental health issues contributing to the difficulties in the marriage.

If your husband isn’t ready to jump right into marriage counseling or couples’ therapy, you might choose to meet individually with a therapist. Then, the therapist can speak directly to the husband or wife and spend time on the individual problems before addressing them regarding the marriage. Like couples’ counseling, this is a great way to bring up problems when your husband ignores you. Outside of that, talking to a therapist or counselor is great for your mental health in general. However, it’s important to remember that treatment through counseling and therapy takes time, so you shouldn’t expect immediate results if you choose to take this path.

Is it normal for a husband to ignore his wife?

In many marriages, it’s not uncommon for wives to report that their husbands have ignored them. A wife might find it difficult to get her husband to talk to her because he spends a lot of time playing video games, sending text messages, or browsing social media. He may seem distant, either physically or mentally. It may seem that he spends all of his free time doing everything except engaging with you.

You may feel that your husband ignores you if he takes time to answer or respond to a question or if he refuses to respond at all. Or, he may spend time and energy doing other activities when he could otherwise be spending time with you. If these are isolated incidents, it’s not so uncommon since your husband is an individual, and sometimes he might have other things on his mind.

However, if your husband ignores you frequently, then it is not so normal. If your husband ignores you more than he acknowledges you, then this could be the sign of much deeper-rooted issues in your marriage and relationship.

Why does my husband not talk to me?

If you find that your husband is more interested in video games than hearing about your day, some underlying issues in the marriage need to be addressed. These can range from miscommunication to undiagnosed mental health issues. The first step to answering why a husband ignores his wife is to examine both the husband and the wife. It might be that the husband doesn’t know or realize that his wife feels ignored.

Or, in more serious cases, the husband ignores the wife as a sort of “silent treatment” to manipulate his wife. This is the case if a husband ignores his wife until she changes her behavior, opinion, or reaction to match what the husband wants. He withholds his attention and affection as a means of manipulating his wife. When a husband ignores his wife to manipulate her, he is exhibiting abusive behavior.

Another reason a husband ignores his wife because he feels overwhelmed by the relationship, or even by something outside of and completely unrelated to the marriage. For example, he might be having a tough time at work or facing something difficult in his friend circle. He would bring this up with his wife in an ideal marriage, but he may feel embarrassed or intimidated. So, instead of bringing it up and talking it out in the safe space of the marriage, he buries it and withdraws from his wife.

These are just a few common reasons why a husband might not talk to his wife. He might not know or realize that his behavior is hurting his wife. Or, he may be withholding attention and affection from his wife as a way of manipulating her. Finally, he could be withdrawing because he is intimidated or embarrassed by things he’s facing outside the marriage.

What is disrespect in a marriage?

There are several ways that you can identify disrespect in a marriage. Whether it’s in your own marriage or in the marriage of people who are close to you, here are some things to the lookout for. These are red signs that there is disrespect in a marriage:

• The couple doesn’t make time for each other. Instead of being involved in each other’s life and prioritizing one another, they spend all of their time and energy with other people or alone in pursuit of their own interests and hobbies.
• The couple keeps secrets. If a husband and wife keep secrets from one another, they’re violating the trust that is supposed to be the foundation of their marriage. When a couple keeps secrets from each other, they undermine that trust, and the entire marriage suffers from that disrespect and volatility.
• They only take care of themselves. This means that the husband looks after his own needs, while the wife looks after hers. This can be true for finances, emotional support, and even sex. If this is the case where the couple isn’t taking care of each other, then there’s a huge breakdown of respect in this relationship.
• They are always cutting each other down or competing. A marriage without respect will usually include a couple who always feels like they have to compete with their partner. They will usually put each other down, either behind their spouse’s back or directly to their face. They will speak negatively about their partner’s abilities and brag about their own. They feel a need to be better than their spouse instead of being a supporting partner.
• One spouse refuses to take the side of the other. Whenever there is a problem in their husband or wife’s social, family, or work life, a disrespectful spouse will never take their side. Instead, they may even blame their partner for the hardships that they’re facing. They might even openly agree or defend the person who is making their spouse’s life miserable. On the flip side, a disrespectful spouse will also be rude, defensive, or outright hostile to their husband or wife’s friends and family.
• They don’t respect your boundaries. This can be in terms of emotions, physical space, or communication habits. Respect for a spouse is reflected in respect for their boundaries.

If you recognize any of these factors or recurring behaviors from your husband, you should probably consider that he is disrespecting you. While this is not a great thing to hear, realizing that there is disrespect in a marriage is actually the first and most important step in working through that issue.

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually?

There are plenty of reasons why your husband might not be as sexually interested as he used to be. First of all, it’s important to note that his lack of sexual interest is not your fault in many cases! Some of the most common reasons a husband shows less sexual interest in his wife include an undiagnosed medical condition, stress, past trauma, lowered self-esteem, a hormonal imbalance, depression, or the side effects of a medication that he is taking.

It is also possible that it is the result of a perceived problem in the marriage. In many cases, if you don’t know why he has lost sexual interest, it could be a problem that he hasn’t brought up with you. The first step in figuring out and addressing this problem is to ask your husband directly. It would help if you were kind and understanding when you ask and be open and ready to hear his answer. Then, with this information, you can communicate more openly and honestly together and work together to rekindle your love while working through any problems.

How do I get my husband to pay attention to me?

If you feel like your husband isn’t paying attention to you, there are some things you can do to make him pay more attention to you. The first and easiest step is to tell him how you feel. It might be that your husband doesn’t know or doesn’t realize that you’re feeling a bit neglected. He’ll turn his behavior around in many cases once he knows that this is how you feel.

If that doesn’t solve it, though, consider inserting more positive behavior into your own routine. For example, you should vocalize your gratitude or affirmations for him. He’ll see and hear how you appreciate him, and he’ll likely realize how much he appreciates you, too. If this realization doesn’t spark a change in his behavior, you can step out of the subtlety and say, “You know how I affirm all the great things you bring to my life? It would great if you did that for me, too.” Then, you’ll both be on the same track and looking for all the positive things in your relationship. And when you search for the positive in any situation, you’re likely to find it!

It might be tempting to act out and withdraw in an attempt to make him miss you and struggle to win you back. However, more often than not, this pushes him further away. He could easily interpret this as a sign that you don’t love him as you used to and that you don’t want him to draw closer to you. Withdrawing like that usually makes this worse rather than better. After all, you’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar! This means that you should use positive, kind, and well-meaning behavior to inspire your husband's same kind of love and attention.

How do I talk to my husband about marriage problems?

The first step in talking with your husband about marriage problems is to bring them up. When you bring them up, be sure that you are ready to communicate openly and honestly. This means that you should be willing to share honestly from your heart. But more importantly, it means that you should be ready to listen to your husband without judgment. Remember, just as you are the only one truly qualified to explain how you feel, so too is the only one able to explain his side of things best. Before you bring up marriage problems, be sure that you’re in the right space, physically and emotionally, to listen and share deeply and honestly.

Then, it would help if you mentioned to your husband how you feel. Use “I feel” statements. This way, you can accurately express your problems without blaming any one person. This is a great way to communicate well and open the door to conversations that can lead to real problem-solving. Remember, though, this only works if both of you are willing to be accepting and non-judgmental of the other’s feelings and suggestions.

Finally, if talking to your husband about marriage problems isn’t enough to solve the problems, you should consider seeing a marriage counselor. The counselor will listen well, assess the situation with fresh eyes, and provide actionable solutions to help restore and strengthen your marriage.

How can I fix my marriage problems?

One of the most effective ways to address marriage problems is to seek couples’ therapy or marriage counseling. These methods of addressing problems in a marriage are widely successful. In fact, the statistics are actually strongly in favor of those who seek couples therapy. Couples and families who participate in family therapy have been shown to have a success rate as high as 75%. This shows that, on the whole, family therapy, whether it’s in the form of sex therapy for couples, marital therapy, or even individual therapy, can be an effective way to make relationships work. This is true for all kinds of relationships in your family.

But, before you dive in with a couples’ therapist, you need to make sure that your partner is on board for marital therapy. You might want to look at the different individual and couples therapy options before deciding to start couples therapy. Once your spouse agrees to work with a marriage counselor, you can begin searching for the right couples’ therapist for you both. If your partner doesn’t want to start with a couples counseling therapist right away, you should consider individual counseling in the meantime.

Once you and your partner have decided to get couples counseling, you have to work together to define what aspects of the relationship you want to work on. For example, are you looking for sex therapy, or do you want to talk with an unbiased third party about communicating more effectively? Once you’ve defined your goals for couples counseling, you’ll have a better idea of what kind of therapist and what kind of approaches you want to pursue.

In short, many relationships in couples’ therapy have been saved. Marriage counseling and marital therapy are great ways to address issues in a marriage. This is because the couples’ therapist acts as an objective third party who can listen to both sides of the story and offer professional and unbiased advice.

If your partner isn’t quite ready to delve into couples counseling, you can always try individual counseling in the meantime so that you can work on your part of the issues in the marriage. Hopefully, as your spouse sees you making progress, they’ll want to join the therapy or relationship counseling.

How do you deal with a husband that ignores you?

If you are starting to think, “My husband ignores me,” you might be concerned with what to do next. Try to bring back date night. After a while, some relationships can lack specified quality time. If you’d prefer to stay at home, think about having a special cooking night together or a game night. Planning opportunities for you and your husband to spend time together is important. When you let a long time pass without thoughtfully sharing a lot of time, you might feel like you are receiving the silent treatment, when really you might need to spend more time together.

If you still feel like your husband is ignoring you for a long time, talk to your husband. When you talk to your husband in a way that focuses on how you feel rather than telling him to stop ignoring you outright, you might have more success. No one wants to feel the silent treatment, especially from their spouse. Whether you’re a stay-at-home wife or a traveling, working woman, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Your status as a home wife, stay-at-home mom, or otherwise should not mean that you are responsible for holding the relationship together. Spend more time considering what you need to feel seen, and ask for help. If you think you’ll need the assistance of a couple’s counselor, reach out for help. 

What does it mean when my husband ignores me?

If you frequently think, “My husband ignores me and doesn’t spend time with me” or “I’m receiving the silent treatment,” you might be confused about the reason. Changes in behavior from a significant other can often raise alarm bells. Before you begin to consider how to get your husband to stop ignoring you, you’ll likely want to figure out the root of the problem. Try answering these questions: 

• How much time do you spend together? 
• How many times a week do you find intimacy with one another? 
• Does one of you spend more time with friends than the other? 
• Do you no longer feel like you are “on the same page?” 

No matter what, though, the silent treatment is not the way to resolve a problem or reach home; in fact - it’s manipulative. If your husband is ignoring you because of something that he thinks you did, you might need to enlist the assistance of a professional counselor. If your husband spends more time going out with friends than he does with you, you might need to talk to your husband about boundaries. If you both stay at home frequently and you still feel like you’re receiving the silent treatment or that you haven’t gotten him to stop ignoring you, you might also consider a couple’s counselor. Your relationship needs the respect and communication it deserves. 

What is emotional abandonment in marriage?

Emotional abandonment from family members can appear in a few different ways. For example, if your spouse is giving you silent treatment, that can be a means of emotional abandonment. The silent treatment often insinuates that one person will not be happy or willing to forgive without the other person saying or doing something they do not want to say/do, typically happening more than two times a week. 

Basically, emotional abandonment is when one partner feels discarded, undesired, or forlorn due to a lack of emotional support. If your husband spends more time insulting you, pressuring you than he does uplifting you, or if your husband is ignoring you, you might be experiencing emotional abandonment. Likewise, if your husband spends more time out and about than he does helping you build a home (home wife or not), you might feel traces of emotional abandonment. If you feel this way and are also being gaslit by your partner, it might feel even more difficult to work your way out of abandonment. This can further be amplified by anyone who is a stay-at-home mom or chooses to stay at home for work. When you stay at home, you might have a more difficult time noticing your own mistreatment. 

How do you know if your marriage is over?

It is hard to say for sure when you know that your marriage is over - because it can be different for everyone. Perhaps your family members have been noticing a rift and are pressuring you into explaining yourself. Spend time considering what you want. Even if it takes a long time to resolve your problems, perhaps that is the route you and your partner will want to take. Sometimes the best results do take a long time. That said, if you are experiencing abuse or emotional abandonment, it might be time to stop ignoring your intuition and figure out the happiest and healthiest scenario for you to feel safe. If there’s a person, you trust who you can lean on, reach home and have that conversation before you do anything else. If you’re a home wife scared of the potential financial obligations, if your marriage does end, seek the assistance of a professional counselor. No home wife deserves to stay in an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of financial security. Spend a long time considering your options and what you actually want in addition to what you need. 

Why do husbands ignore their wives?

In many cases, a spouse will mistreat their significant other because of their own personal problems, reaching home to their family members. Though this is unhealthy and not an acceptable means of handling oneself by any standard, it is more common for men to suppress their emotions. The presence of toxic masculinity can have a significant impact on how a husband will treat their wife. If you want your husband to stop ignoring you or stop ignoring your relationship's issues, he might need first to address some of his own mental struggles. For a home wife, this can be incredibly frustrating. Being ignored after spending all day taking care of everyone and everything is not a healthy relationship, home wife or not. Reach out to a couple’s counselor for assistance as soon as possible.