Ask These Questions To Fall In Love

Updated April 11, 2021

Can You Fall For Someone By Asking Questions?

Asking a question is unlikely to make you fall in romantic love, but a person’s answer to your questions might. Some questions lead to love and show you if you’re compatible with a person or not. Getting to know another person is a special gift, and if you ask the right questions, you might fall for them based on their reply.

Why Ask Questions To Grow Love?

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There are many reasons why you could be looking for questions to ask to grow love. Maybe, you’re new to the dating scene, and you need some ice breakers. Perhaps, you’re already in a relationship and are looking to spice things up or learn something new about a person. Another possible reason is that modern love is often found online. When modern love is found online, your first mode of communication will usually be text, phone, or webchat, and it can be hard to know how to start a conversation.

Regardless of why you’re looking for questions to ask to grow love, you must continue to ask questions in a relationship, no matter how long-term it is. If we’re lucky, the people close to us will continuously learn, grow, and form new opinions. Asking questions is a way to keep things fresh and to make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of making assumptions.

Here are some questions that lead to love.

What Makes You Feel Thankful?

Ask your current or potential future partner what makes them feel gratitude. Gratitude not only promotes happiness but is also shown to improve relationships. If the answer comes with ease and you find that this person is a person who is thankful for what they have, you will likely find this person more attractive. You don’t want to be around someone who drags you down; you want to be around positive people who don’t take things for granted. This doesn’t mean that they’ll be joyous all of the time; it just means that they show appreciation where it’s due and is generally uplifting to be around. Think about the kind of person you could problem solve, grieve, or go through hard times with. Likely, that’s a balanced, compassionate, and emotive but uplifting person, someone who won’t bypass troublesome times but won’t overlook a silver lining, either.

What Does Love Mean To You?

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Love and affection play a critical role in any relationship. It’s important to ask a current or future partner what that means to them. There are many different ways that people show affection. If you’ve ever heard of the five love languages, that’s just one example of how the way we think of love and affection varies from person to person. Love plays a critical role for all of us, but if it doesn’t mean the same thing to you and a current or future partner, or if you can’t understand each other’s definition of love and affection, it may cause issues in the relationship. One person may need more space than the other, or they might be less or more into public displays of affection than you are.

If you’re not ready to say the L-word, You can always ask, “what does affection mean to you?” It will have a similar effect without being quite so forward. Either way, you might learn a fact about a person you’re either very attracted or unattracted to by asking this question. If their answer is romantic and captivating, it might just have you falling in love.

What Were Some Of Your Most Meaningful Life Experiences?

Getting to know a person’s story will bring you closer to them. Ask about their most meaningful life experiences, and you’ll get to discover what makes them light up. Saving your cherished memories is something we all do, and hearing about those cherished moments is priceless. You’ll also get to see them when they’re passionate, which is one of the most attractive things out there. You might also ask about who has been the most influential in their lives. Whether it’s a family member, teacher, or friend, it’s another topic that is likely to incite passion.

Do You Have Any Pets?

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Asking a person, “do you have any pets?” is an excellent, lighthearted icebreaker if you’re getting to know someone. However, if you have an ongoing connection with this person, you might still want to ask about their thoughts on having or getting pets in the future. For example, if you’re an animal person and have always had pets, and your partner has never had a pet, you might want to ask how they feel about having pets in the home. This is particularly important if you are thinking about moving in together or see yourselves doing so in the future. Loved ones and pets play a massive role in our lives, and for many people, pets are considered loved ones themselves. If you’re with someone who’s not an animal person and never wants pets, but you’re an animal person and can’t imagine not having pets around, that is something to discuss. It may be a dealbreaker, or it may be something to compromise on. On the flip side, learning that someone is also an animal person could be something that connects you two and leads to love.

Do You Want Any Kids?

It can be hard to ask personal questions like, “do you want any kids?” However, if you envision a future with someone, it is essential to ask those own questions to get perspectives on marriage and children out on the table. If you both love children and see yourselves having a family, this question could lead to love, so don’t be afraid to ask.

What Does Your Ideal Life Look Like?

What roles do love relationships play in your life? Are they at the forefront, or are they on the backburner? Your partner’s answer should match yours. Ask them, “what does your ideal life look like overall?” to gain a sense of what they want to accomplish and what kind of lifestyle they’re striving for. A person’s answer to “what does your ideal life look like?” will help you gauge if they’re a good match for you or not. If they want to travel extensively, but you want to settle down in one area, for example, it could be a dealbreaker. Alternatively, if you share a sense of wanderlust, it could bring you closer. Make sure that your desires in life overall are compatible in addition to your needs in romance.

What Do You Want In A Relationship?

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Similar to the question, “what does your ideal life look like?” asking, “what do you want in a relationship?” will help you find out if you’re compatible. The difference between this question and “what does your ideal life look like?” is that this question is about the details of a relationship specifically. Maybe, they want quality time, or it could be that they wish to communicate. They may want shared goals with a partner, like buying a house or having a family. Of course, many people want a combination of these things, but an individual’s answer to this question will tell you what they prioritize in relationships and what they need the most. People have different love languages, and they need different things in relationships. Some people need more space, whereas other people need more words of affirmation. Some people are profoundly romantic and enjoy grand romantic gestures, whereas other people are more subtle and like to keep things on the down-low. Some people like public displays of affection; some people want to keep things to themselves. This question won’t make only prompt love, but it will tell you how to show affection to this person to feel the most loved and understood.

The Question You’re Afraid To Ask

Is there a question that is always on your mind regarding your current or potential future partner? A question that you were afraid to ask?

Often, the questions that lead to love are the ones that we are afraid to ask. Typically, if we’re afraid to ask a question, it’s because we’re afraid of the other person’s reaction or because the answer is really important to us. It’s challenging to be so vulnerable as to ask it. For example, you might want to ask someone what they think about moving to another state or ethical non-monogamy practices. You might be afraid to ask these questions because you know that the answer could be “no, I’m not interested in moving” or “no, I am monogamous.”

That said, you need to have what is important to you on the table. If nothing else, you’ll know that something doesn’t resonate sooner rather than later, but don’t let that possibility stop you from asking. These are the questions that lead to love the most because they are deeply meaningful. As anxious as you may be, don’t let it stop you from asking the question that could connect you even further.

Online Counseling

Online counseling is an excellent place to talk about any concerns related to interpersonal relationships or anything else that’s on your mind. The online counselors at ReGain are here to support you in either individual counseling or couples counseling. Search the network of online counselors at ReGain and find the best fit for you.

References:

[PDF] To have and to hold: gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds.

Why Passion Is So Attractive


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