Wishes and Messages Of Valentine's Day Can Be Different For Everyone

By Sydney Wiederhold|Updated March 25, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Aaron Horn, LMFT

Valentine’s Day rolls around on February 14 each year in the U.S., but everyone seems to have a different reaction when it does. While some are excited, happy, and hopeful, others may feel sad, jealous, or annoyed. Why is there such a range of reactions to this specific day? It appears that the meaning of Valentine’s Day varies from person to person and has even changed its meaning over time. Some prefer to celebrate it every year while others outright refuse to have anything to do with the holiday. Understanding different perspectives toward Valentine’s Day can help you navigate relationships, understand where others are coming from, and could help you decide how you feel about February 14 if you’re still unsure.

Valentine day wishes and valentine messages

Valentine's Day Can Hold More Messages Than You Think
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Valentine’s Day Messages

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you? A large majority of people will probably say that Valentine's day messages are generally a day to show love & affection toward your significant other. On Valentine's day you buy one another gifts, chocolates, candy, flowers, and more. You might picture doves, roses, hearts, Cupid, and all sorts of red and pink decorations for Valentine's day wishes. Special outings and date nights are common for Valentine's day wishes, and it can be hard to find a reservation for dinner on Valentine's day if you didn’t plan far enough in advance. All in all, Valentine's is often a day to show your partner that you still love and care for them, and to make them feel special.

Around The World Valentine's Day Wishes

Valentine’s Day tends to be a big deal around the world in general. It is most popular in the United States, Britain, Canada, Australia, Argentina, Mexico, South Korea, and the Philippines; it is least popular and sometimes even outlawed in some Arabian countries as well as certain cities in Russia. 

Every country that does celebrate Valentine’s Day tends to have a different tradition they follow each year. Below are some of the most interesting:

  • Japan: The roles were somewhat reversed in Japan on February 14. Instead of men buying women gifts, the women typically purchase chocolate for the men. Then, one month later, the men return the favor by getting even fancier gifts and chocolate for the women.
  • Germany: In Germany, pigs are considered good luck. So, people are just as likely to exchange pigs and have pork meals as they are to exchange chocolates and flowers.
  • South Africa: The women write out the name of their love interest and pin it to their clothing for all to see.
  • Philippines: Valentine’s Day is the most popular day for couples to wed in the Philippines. Many couples hold massive ceremonies or even renew their vows on Valentine's day.
  • Slovenia: Here, Valentine's isn’t so much about romantic love. Instead, it’s all about nature. The Slovenian people have a tradition of walking barefoot through the grassy fields to watch the “mating season” between the birds and the bees begin.

Just as every individual assigns a different meanings or messages to Valentine’s Day, so do different countries. With that being said, just because you live in or are from a certain country doesn’t mean you don’t have some other perspective of Valentine's. Everyone is influenced in some manner by where they grew up, how their parents or friends celebrated Valentine’s Day, and their past experiences with it. If you’re curious about how someone feels about the holiday, it’s always best to just be upfront and ask them. 

Valentine's Day Wishes - Increased Inclusivity

Over the years, Valentine’s Day has expanded in its meaning to include more than just romantic partners. Just take a trip to your local store where greeting cards are sold to see this idea in action. You can find cards for best friends, teachers, coworkers, grandparents, bosses, parents, daughters, sons, and practically anyone else you’d like to include. Kids commonly create decorated shoeboxes at home and then bring them into class in order to exchange Valentines of small cards and candy. So, any thoughts and feelings toward Valentine’s Day tend to start when a person is pretty young. At that age, though, everything is all about fun more than anything else.

Day wishes. Valentine day wishes & messages.

It’s also common nowadays for friends to host what is called Galentine’s Day – a day specifically for platonic friendships among women. Although originally intended to be celebrated on February 13, many end up celebrating on the 14th regardless, particularly if they are single and don’t want to feel left out of holiday festivities. 

In many ways, this is a great thing. Valentine’s Day is all about love, and who says it only has to include romantic couples? The world is always in need of an extra celebration of kindness, care, and affection, so the more people who feel loved on February 14, the better.

History Of Valentine’s Day Wishes

Valentine's day has been a special day for centuries now, but few know what its origin and original meaning are. There are a lot of different stories surrounding the history of Valentine’s Day, but it is widely thought to be named after Saint Valentine, a supposed martyr murdered by the ancient Romans. The Catholic Church was among the first to celebrate his life and contribute to Valentine's day becoming a holiday. The meaning of Valentine’s Day today, however, has very little to do with Saint Valentine. Instead, most people associate Valentine's day with love, gifts, and maybe that special someone.

Mixed Messages

Problems can occur in relationships on Valentine’s Day when two people don’t have similar messages of how Valentine's should be properly celebrated. One partner might not be big into Valentine's day, or they may find it cheesy to acknowledge Valentine's day message as being significant. The other partner may have loads of expectations and wishes for Valentine's day in their mind about how Valentine's day should proceed and could be expecting gifts, wishes granted, a well-planned date night, or something else that is special and out of the ordinary.

If couples wait to discover their mismatched messages until the “Day of Love” arrives, hurt feelings and resentment could quickly start to build up. It’s smart for couples to discuss their message around Valentine's day, expectations and feelings toward Valentine’s Day in advance so that they’re on the same page. Even if they have different messages about Valentine's day at least they will know ahead of time and can even come to an agreement or compromise on some things before it’s too late.

Valentine's Day Wishes

Unmet expectations and wishes can create resentment and lead to conflict. That’s why it’s best for couples to talk about their needs and wishes. Valentine’s Day is what you and your partner make it. Here are some ways to express and discuss your expectations and wishes so that you can try to avoid hurt feelings or miscommunications:

  • Talk about your love languages. There are five of them: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving and receiving, and quality time. Everyone gives and receives love differently. Take these into account as you plan out Valentine's day. If you know that your partner isn’t wild about gifts but wishes to spend time with you, consider a romantic date night instead of an extravagant gift. Although society may convince you that you need to spend a ton of money buying a nice present and grant wishes, your partner will be happier receiving love in the way they understand and feel it the most.
  • Just ask. Instead of wondering whether or not your partner is expecting a day packed with romance, wishes, gifts, and celebration, just ask them about it. When you both discuss your expectations openly, there is less room for a misunderstanding. Try to ask in a way that is nonjudgmental so that you can gauge their true feelings and wishes about Valentine's day.
  • Find out who cares more. If one partner is more into Valentine’s Day than the other, the person who is less into it might consider a compromise and try to make Valentine's day as big of a deal for their partner as their partner wishes for them. Every relationship has compromises and when you accommodate your partner’s feelings, they’re more likely to do the same for you down the road (though this shouldn’t be your reasoning behind compromise).

Once your partner has shared their wish toward Valentine’s Day, you can go ahead and share your wish, too — even if they differ. Communication is always key. If there are things on your mind that you need to talk about, take the time to do so. For example, perhaps your partner expressed the message that receiving gifts is really important to them, but you are running on a very tight budget this year. Be honest with them about those wishful situations so that they know what to expect, and try to come up with a solution that will make both of you happy.

Valentine day wishes & valentine messages

Valentine's Day Can Hold More Messages Than You Think

No matter how you and your significant other choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day (including not at all), try not to compare it to how others spend their day. It is easy to scroll on social media or ask friends what their day will look like, but comparison only steals from both partners. Focus on your own relationship and plans and you’re more likely to find happiness that day with whatever you end up doing.

Choosing Not To Celebrate

Some couples choose not to make a big deal out of Valentine's day. They see Valentine's day as just another day of the year. This could be because these partners are committed to showing each other love no matter what day it is and may view Valentine’s Day as unnecessary. Just because someone doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean they love their partner any less. On the other hand, just because a couple does choose to celebrate doesn’t mean they love each other more than those who don’t. They likely still show each other love even when it isn’t February 14. Everything comes down to personal preference & these decisions have a lot of factors that go into them.

Different Valentine's Day Wishes

The message & wish of Valentine’s Day can be different for everyone because we are all different individuals. The reality is that Valentine's is what you make it out to be. Whether that wish for Valentine's day looks like hosting a huge party, going on an intimate date with your significant other, or having a Galentine’s Day with your single friends, we all have the freedom to wish & choose how special Valentine's day will be. Another factor to take into consideration is how long a couple has been in a relationship. A couple that has just started dating is likely to celebrate Valentine’s Day differently than two people who have been married for decades. As long as you’re happy, Valentine's has the potential to look & feel however you choose.  

Valentine’s day wishes can be unique for each person. Every Valentine’s day wish can be unique to someone because wishes come from the heart. Valentine’s day wishes can be as simple wishing to spend Valentine’s day with the one you love or as extravagant of a wish as a trip with your Valentine. If this Valentine’s day you want to grant these wishes for the one’s you love, but are not sure what their Valentine’s wishes may be or have to grant their Valentine’s day wishes, consider talking to them beforehand about their wishes and be open and honest. If perhaps you find they want to keep their Valentine's day wishes to themselves, that's okay too. Ask friends or family about their Valentine's day wishes or perhaps think about wishes they have had in the past you could grant this Valentine's. If you're unsure how to go about discovering and granting Valentine's day wishes this Valentine's day, discover more about Valentine’s day wishes in this article or turn to ReGain for help.

Get Started With ReGain

As Valentine’s Day approaches, you might find yourself worried about a host of problems in your relationship. Perhaps you & your partner have been going through issues that you just can’t seem to get over on your own. Maybe the message of Valentine’s Day that you hold differs so much from your partner’s that it’s straining already existing problems as Valentine's day nears. Or, perhaps you’d like to explore your own feelings regarding Valentine’s Day & relationships. That’s where ReGain can assist. Through ReGain’s online counseling platform, you’ll be able to chat with a qualified, licensed counselor who is experienced in a wide variety of issues. You can use your phone, tablet, or laptop to connect at any time & may choose to do individual or couple’s therapy. ReGain is here to help you no matter what problems you might be facing. Reach out right away to get started.

Meet Our Therapists

Cynthia Wiedemann - LMFT

Valentine's Day Can Hold More Messages Than You Think

Terry Brewer - LCSW

Catherine Wilson - LMHC

Heather Connors - LCSW, PPSC

Joseph Frey - MA, LMFT

Stephen Robinson - MA, LCMHCS, LCAS

Darcy Dobb - LCSW, MHPP

Cheryl Williams - MA

Shannon Caraway - LCSW

Dr. Patrick Casthely - LMHC, MCAP, PHD

Dennis Doke - M.S., LMFT-S, LPC-S

Debra Jenkins - MSW, LCSW-C

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