What Is Emotional Maturity And How Can Emotions Affect Mental Health?
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Although logic is vital in all relationships, emotional maturity is equally (if not more) valuable for the connection to be stable and successful. In a healthy scenario, emotional maturity grows throughout the relationship and may become a natural progression as each individual learns new relationship and emotional skills.
In a relationship, emotional maturity in the form of taking responsibility for yourself and your actions is one of the most significant gifts you can give to your partner. When both partners hold themselves accountable for their behavior together, mutual respect and understanding will likely follow.
Emotionally mature people are also more likely to manage their impulses and emotions, not letting a fight get excessively out of control. In this way, emotional maturity can be an essential glue that binds two people together in a robust and healthy relationship.
These are just a couple of the ways that having emotional maturity benefits relationships. In this post, we’ll discuss some traits of emotional maturity and give more examples of why it’s important in relationships.
Common traits that indicate emotional maturity
Some specific traits and behaviors indicate emotional maturity in an individual, including:
- Being flexible and adaptable – An emotionally mature person may understand that things don’t always go as planned and accept this and move forward.
- Taking ownership and responsibility – An emotionally mature individual will hold themselves accountable for their actions and behaviors, good or bad.
- Accepting they don’t know everything – An emotionally mature person may realize they don’t know everything, and they will respect and keep an open mind to other individuals’ thoughts and opinions.
- Take experiences as an opportunity to learn and grow – An emotionally mature individual will look at experiences and situations as a way to learn, grow, and ultimately improve themselves.
- They’re resilient in difficult situations – An emotionally mature individual will be resilient in times of upset or disappointment. Instead of holding onto the negativity of the situation, they will find solutions and ways to move forward.
- They have a calm disposition – Emotionally mature individuals are familiar with and experience a wide range of emotions. However, they don’t let negative emotions dictate their reactions to things. Emotionally mature individuals are usually able to manage their emotions effectively.
- Approachability – Emotionally mature people, maybe more understanding and able to talk about a difficult subject that emotionally immature people would potentially get upset about.
- Strong sense of self – An individual who exhibits emotional maturity typically has a strong sense of not ego-based self.
Being honest, grateful, and optimistic are all common signs of emotional maturity, as is the ability to stop and think before acting on a feeling, set healthy, reasonable boundaries, and notice one’s own emotions and needs. Emotional maturity encompasses a variety of behaviors and internal mechanisms of control.
Examples of emotional maturity in relationships
1)After an argument, emotionally mature people are often comfortable enough to apologize for their behavior if warranted. During difficult times, an emotionally mature person will exhibit resilience and adaptability, attempting to make the best of the situation.
2) Emotionally mature people can provide emotional support to their partners. Support comes in many forms, from providing a shoulder to cry on to celebrating a happy achievement. An emotionally mature partner will likely be able to take on their partner’s emotional ups and downs and will be there for them to offer encouragement and consolation when necessary. People with average or higher levels of emotional maturity may have reasonable control over their emotions to help others who are having difficulty doing the same.
3) They communicate effectively using an appropriate communication style during arguments (and during peaceful times). A partner with emotional maturity seeks to resolve conflict rather than contribute further to conflict. Instead of blaming, using insults or abusive talk, or speaking poorly of themselves or their partner, an emotionally mature person will likely take responsibility for their part of the problem and consider possible solutions that will work for both partners. An emotionally mature person recognizes that conflict has value and strives to find a positive outcome.
Examples of emotional immaturity
Emotional immaturity in relationships can have many causes, including but not limited to early childhood experiences, trauma, substance abuse, mental health disorders, and more. If the emotionally immature partner(s) doesn’t grow and develop throughout the relationship, it may worsen with time. Emotional immaturity also often affects other areas of life, such as work and productivity.
Here are some common traits and behaviors of emotional immaturity.
1) A partner does not handle alone time well. Emotionally immature people typically will not deal with solitude very well, no matter the period. In contrast, emotionally mature people may recognize that they enjoy being around other people but acknowledge that they’re also fine being alone sometimes.
2) They immediately discount and shut down discussions that are challenging or that make them feel uncomfortable. The “shutting down” of the discussion can be dramatic and harsh, or it may be more subtle and maneuvering, depending on the individual nature of the emotionally immature person. Emotionally mature people can confidently handle conversations about somewhat uncomfortable topics or go against their beliefs. Emotionally immature people will usually struggle and work to avoid these topics.
3) An emotionally immature person may avoid difficult thoughts or feelings because they bring about complex feelings that they may find challenging to manage. Instead, they may suppress these feelings. Emotionally mature people are more likely to have worked through their emotions and have more consideration about the situation.
Takeaway
Emotional maturity can be developed with practice and dedication, but emotionally immature people aren’t always receptive to working on it. If your partner lacks emotional maturity, they may insist they don’t need to change and that you’re the source of the relationship’s problems, or they may completely deny that there’s a problem in the relationship at all.
It’s critical for emotionally immature people to get help from a professional, particularly if you suspect it’s a symptom of a mental health issue. There are several methods that therapists use to help people develop more emotional maturity, but cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are the two most common.
CBT centers on helping the patient identify unhealthy thoughts and beliefs and reframe them to cultivate better mental well-being and develop valuable skills to navigate life’s challenges. DBT focuses on teaching emotional regulation and interpersonal skills, among other things. The common goal of both methods is to help the patient develop emotional maturity and function effectively in daily life.
Attitude isn’t the only potential obstacle to treatment for emotionally immature people. Finding time for appointments and commuting in the middle of the week can be challenging, and some people don’t have access to a therapist in their area at all. Many assume they won’t be able to afford therapy or that it won’t work for them anyway.
The growing popularity of virtual therapy provides an excellent solution to these barriers to treatment and more. Online platforms like Regain match people with therapists experienced in helping couples and/or individuals work through issues of emotional immaturity. Therapy can also help couples develop effective communication and learn helpful strategies for coping with future challenges.
You can speak to a Regain counselor from the comfort of your home or anywhere with a reliable internet connection. Sessions can be conducted on your schedule via phone, online chat, text, and video chat. If you need assistance between appointments, you may message your therapist and expect an answer as soon as possible.
Online therapy is also often more affordable than traditional therapy without insurance coverage and is just as effective. For example, a ten-year study from the University of Amsterdam surveyed 840 participants over nine trials. The participants were treated for various mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, trauma, etc. The collective results found that online cognitive behavioral therapy is “a viable and effective alternative to face-to-face treatment.” Patients also demonstrated higher rates of adherence to treatment in online therapy over the course of their plan.
It is possible for you or your partner to cultivate more emotional maturity in your relationship. A Regain counselor is there to help.
How can you develop emotional maturity and handle emotions well?
There are many ways you can begin to develop emotional maturity. It may first help to learn to identify your emotions and accept them instead of repressing them. This may give you a better insight into your needs and triggers and better respond to your feelings during certain situations. It's also important to set healthy boundaries with yourself, as well as other people. You can also begin to develop emotional maturity by holding yourself accountable for your behaviors and actions, both good and bad. It may also help you not make any important decisions or immediately react when you feel strong or negative emotions. Instead, it may help to practice the pause and wait until you have a peaceful state of mind before reacting. It's also important to remember that no one is perfect, and we all have things we probably improve on. It may be helpful to observe yourself and see what you could begin to improve. Being self-aware is incredibly important when it comes to emotional maturity.
What are the emotional and mental health signs of emotional immaturity?
People with emotional immaturity are likely to have difficulty appropriately expressing themselves or respecting other people's emotions. Emotionally immature individuals may not understand their actions' impact on other people, or they may push away their loved ones or create conflicts.
Here are signs to look for that may reveal someone's level of emotional immaturity:
They do not take responsibility for their actions.
Instead of admitting when they have made a mistake, the emotionally immature individual may blame someone else.
They revert to defensive tactics when something that makes them uncomfortable or vulnerable is brought up.
Reverting to defensive tactics often turns the problem back on the accuser and only separates the individual in question from the actual problem. Individuals who exhibit these tendencies likely are not holding themselves entirely accountable for their negative behavior.
They may make their loved ones feel lonely.
If emotionally immature people are not honest with their partners or others in their lives, their loved ones may feel alone or sense a gap in their relationship. Emotionally immature people might not recognize when their loved ones need their support or may have difficulty uplifting others.
They don't like talking about their feelings.
An emotionally immature individual may find it difficult to talk about their feelings. Processing emotions may seem difficult for them, and instead, they may shut down or withdraw.
At what age do you reach emotional maturity and become emotionally mature?
There is not necessarily a specific age at which an individual reaches full emotional maturity. Instead, maturity is a sort of spectrum that individuals can drift across over time. As we get older, we tend to mature in many ways through learned experiences, but plenty of grown individuals may exhibit emotional immaturity concerns.
Some people may become mature individuals early on in their lives. They may attain a higher level of maturity because of the experiences and environments they've lived in or simply due to personal differences.
Others may not reach maturity until quite sometime later in their lives. The most important thing to remember is that it does not matter how long it takes you to become emotionally mature. Emotionally immature individuals have the chance to acknowledge their mistakes and become emotionally mature through self-improvement.
To a certain extent, maturity may be a choice. People do not simply grow up and become emotionally mature right away. Emotionally mature individuals are usually those who have reflected on who they are and what they need to do in the present moment to become better in the future.
How do you test emotional maturity?
You can test your emotional maturity by asking yourself how you respond to emotional situations. For instance, what is your response during an argument or high levels of stress? If someone lets you down, what is your initial response? Do you feel angry, or do you try to understand their side? How do you react when you're angry? The answers to these questions can vary, but the only way to find the answer is to be completely honest with yourself. Self-reflection and honesty are the essential first steps toward change and growth.
What are some major factors that contribute to emotional maturity?
Major factors that contribute to emotional maturity are typically based on your situation and background.
Experts commonly cite environmental factors as some of the most significant for influencing emotional maturity. If you grew up in a loving home, you might already know the basic principles of emotional maturity. By watching your parents care for one another and showing your love, you may also replicate their positive behavior by learning these behaviors in your adulthood.
On the other hand, those who have grown up in homes where their parents neglected them or paid little attention may not know how to become emotionally mature right away. Other factors may include family size, schooling, peer group, and socioeconomic status. Maturity is a complex idea, and no two individuals will grow at the same rate.
What is an example of emotional maturity?
What is emotional maturity and why is it important?
What does it mean to lack emotional maturity?
How do you build emotional maturity?
What are signs of emotional maturity?
Why do we need to be emotionally mature enough to handle emotions?
What are things that help you become emotionally mature?
Can emotionally immature people ever change and become emotionally mature?
What are the best qualities of emotionally mature people?
How do you know your partner is emotionally mature and has good mental health?
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