What Are The Dangers Of Attention-Seeking Behavior?
Medically Reviewed By Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPCSome people want to be the center of attention. They may have a desire to be seen, noticed, validated, or admired. Attention-seeking behavior can draw either negative or positive attention, both of which a person who craves being noticed might find reinforcing or validating.
What Is Attention-Seeking Behavior?
Attention-seeking behavior is a way that a person acts to gain attention. Those seeking attention may behave in various ways to catch the attention of an individual or group. For instance, they may do or say something controversial to provoke reactions from others. They may exaggerate stories, accomplishments, or experiences to gain praise, admiration, or sympathy. They may pretend not to know how to do certain things in order to have others help or teach them. In most cases, they tend to be thinking of themselves, not in the interest of others.
Possible Reasons For Attention-Seeking Behavior
Attention-seeking behavior may be the result of lowself-esteem, a personality disorder, aneed or love for drama or intense emotions, or other causes. Examples include:
Low Self-Esteem
A person with low self-esteem typically lacks confidence in themself, who they are, and what their strengths are. Without self-confidence, they may seek the attention of others to help them feel validated. People with low self-esteem may judge themselves on how they feel they’re doing in the moment rather than having a steady confidence in themselves. They may seek attention to boost how they feel in the present rather than being confident at their core.
Self-esteem can evolve throughout life. The image an individual develops of themselves may be shaped through experiences, including interactions with others. Successes, failures, and relationships may all play a role in self-esteem.
Experiences and relationships in childhood can influence self-esteem in some cases. For instance, getting appropriate, healthy attention and affectionwhen a person is young and developing can contribute to healthy self-esteem.
Jealousy
Jealousy can evoke attention-seeking emotional behavior. Jealousy typically occurs when someone is seeking the attention or a relationship with another person whose attentions are instead focused on someone else. Jealousy can lead to feelings of betrayal or a sense of loss. A jealous person may use attention-seeking behaviors to stay connected to the person whom they fear they are losing. (Jealousy is not the same as envy, which usually involves longing for what someone else has.)
Loneliness
Loneliness has been described as a gap between the social connections, relationships, and experiences a person would like to have and those they feel they’re actually experiencing.
In some cases, a person exhibiting attention-seeking behavior may be lonely. They may take attention-seeking steps to engage others and escape their own feelings of isolation.
Narcissism
Narcissismcan be described as an intense self-involvement. It is typically so intense that a person with narcissistic behaviors may ignore the needs of those around them. Narcissism exists on a spectrum. It can be a trait or traits that someone exhibits or can be part of larger personality disorder: narcissistic personality disorder.
A person who exhibits narcissistic traits may engage in attention-seeking behaviors to feed their ego. Their actionsand desires may revolve around getting the praise and validation they need to reinforce their own sense of self-importance. People who are narcissistic and seek attentionmight strive to be seen and recognized. They may go out of their way to come across as extra kind or important or to gain time in the spotlight, tactics that could get them the attention and admiration they crave.
A person who is narcissistic may also take negative action to gain attention. They may seek pity or rescuing as a way of remaining the center of attention.
Factitious Disorder
Factitious disorder was previously referred to as Munchausen syndrome. It is a mental health disorder in which a healthy person deceives others by trying to appear sick, purposefully getting sick, or causing self-injury. They may go so far as to alter tests so that the results show that something is wrong with them.
Like many mental health disorders, it exists on a spectrum. A person may slightly exaggerate their symptoms or health status or might do so more severely and persistently.
If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts, reach out for help immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255 and is available 24/7.
Signs of factitious disorder may include:
- A varied and lengthy medical history that can sometimes be inconsistent.
- Symptoms that become more severe after treatment has begun in order to maintain and draw more attention.
- Extensive knowledge of medical terminology, hospitals, and descriptions of illnesses.
- Eagerness to have medical tests or procedures conducted.
- Problems with identity and self-esteem. They may thrive if they notice others’ behavior changes to accommodate their attention-seeking. This is likely happening because their identity is being validated and their self-esteem is being boosted.
Histrionic Personality Disorder
The main characteristics of histrionic personality disorder are feeling the intense need to be the center of attention and engaging in behaviors to get that attention. Histrionic personality disorder is sometimes referred to as “dramatic personality disorder” and is part of what are called “Cluster B” personality disorders. These types of personality disorders are mainly characterized by excessive dramatic, emotional, or erratic behavior. The causes of histrionic personality disorder may be environmental, genetic, or both.
People who are living with this type of personality disorder typically show unstable, intense, excessive emotions. They often feel compelled to be noticed, and so they frequently engage in attention-seeking behavior, even when such behavior is considered inappropriate for the time or place. Their self-esteem may come from the attention of others instead of from their own sense of worth.
Symptoms of histrionic personality disorder include:
- Needing to be the center of attention.
- Exaggerating actions or speech in order to get attention.
- Becoming bored quickly and seeking excitement.
- Extreme emotions and mood swings.
- Acting in sexually provocative ways with the goal of gaining attention.
- Showing a pattern of manipulative behaviors.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, treatment may include therapy. A physician may also prescribe medication. In addition, self-care can be helpful. Below are a few self-care techniques:
- Physical activity.
- Avoiding drugs and alcohol.
- Connecting with a support group.
- Writing in a journal.
- Actively practicing relaxation and stress management.
- Staying connected with friends and family.
Examples Of Attention-Seeking Behavior In Adults
While it is not uncommon for children and adolescents to exhibit attention-seeking behaviors, most people grow out of the need or urge to seek attention. However, others continue to seek attention into adulthood. The attention-seeking behavior may be conscious and carefully planned or, in some cases, more spontaneous. Examples of attention-seeking behavior in adults include:
Playing The Victim
Sometimes people who seek attention make themselves out to be the victimsofcertainsituations or actions. They may exaggerate circumstances or events to show that they were wronged in some fashion.
They may try to invoke guilt in those around them. They might say or implysomething like, “It’s fine. I’ll just stay here alone,” or, “Everything bad always happens to me.” These are common attention-seeking tactics. In more intense circumstances (such as factitious disorder) they may play the victim of illness.
Hysteria
Hysteria refers to being overwhelmingly or excessively emotional. A pattern of overly dramatic or out-of-proportion emotional outbursts in those who seek attention may be the result of a person’s desire for attention.
Needing To Feel Indispensable
A person with attention-seeking tendencies may find validation by making themselves seem indispensable.Theymay need to be needed and crave the attention that comes with being important and at the center of everything.
Fishing For Compliments
A person who seeks attention may brag, boast, or try to promote themselves to get compliments or positive feedback from others. A person with narcissistic traits may feel they deserve this validation but give little or no thought to others around them.
Sparking Controversy In Order To Provoke A Reaction
A person who tends to seek attention may try to instigate controversy in order to engage others. Thiscaninclude bringing up controversial topics or acting in ways that may be considered provocative in order to get attention.
Attention-Seeking Behavior: Dangers, Help, And Hope
The dangers of attention-seeking behavior can vary depending on what is causing the behavior and how persistent or excessive it is. For instance, factitious disorder can be physically dangerous if a person purposefully injures themselves or exposes themselves to illness in order to gain attention for medical issues.
If you or a loved one is affected by attention-seeking behavior or has any other mental health concerns, consider reaching out for help. Connecting with a license mental health providerthrough ReGaincan be a healthy step. The experienced therapists at ReGain know how toprovideuseful, individualized treatmentto help you manage complicated feelings related to self-esteem, loneliness, and a variety of other concerns—all from the comfort of your home.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is attention-seeking a mental illness?
On its own, attention-seeking behavior is not necessarily indicative of a mental illness. Though attention-seeking behavior can be a symptom or sign of some mental illnesses, it can also result from other factors, like low self-esteem or difficulty communicating with others.
In most cases, when someone wants to seek either positive attention or negative attention, it’s not malicious. Individuals may present a vulnerable appearance to draw attention to themselves, but not always for selfish reasons.
Whether positive or negative, examples of attention-seeking are often the results of a conscious or unconscious desire to receive admiration or approval from others.
The desire to request constant attention may stem from people wanting their friends, family, and even strangers to notice their accomplishments, pay attention to them when they are sick or injured, or otherwise care for an individual.
It is human nature to avoid loneliness. Those labeled as attention seekers are not always mean or selfish people. Still, they may also exhibit potential behavior problems that sometimes can damage relationships or start a conflict.
As mentioned above, sometimes attention-seeking behaviors do go hand-in-hand with some types of mental illness. For example, an individual’s attention-seeking behavior could be a symptom of a histrionic personality disorder (also known colloquially as a dramatic personality disorder, though this term is not used for official diagnoses and can come off as dismissive).
People with histrionic personality disorder may feel underappreciated when others are not focusing on them. Those with a histrionic personality disorder might be attention seekers in response to their symptoms.
Anxiety disorders, depression, and a myriad of other mental illnesses can contribute to attention-seeking behaviors. Histrionic personality disorder, alongside other conditions, though, is less widely known and understood.
For a person to meet the requirements for a diagnosis of histrionic personality disorder, they must meet at least five criteria:
- Shallow and changing emotions
- Exaggerated and dramatic feelings
- Seductive or provocative behavior
- Prone to suggestible behavior
- Impressionistic or vague speech
How do you deal with an attention seeker?
If you have a friend, loved one, or another individual in your life who exhibits attention-seeking behaviors, you’re not in the wrong (and certainly not alone) for wondering how to manage and respond to them. Fortunately, there are some methods you can utilize to keep both yourself and others you care about happy and communicating healthily.
Those seeking attention or those labeled as attention seekers may feel deterred or distressed if they feel ignored, rejected, or shut out. Negative attention and positive attention alike can make someone feel important again.
Sometimes attention-seeking behaviors can be hard to identify, and they can be even harder to address without seeming confrontational. Examples of attention-seeking behavior might include:
- Putting oneself down in front of others.
- Acting emotionally vulnerable.
- Utilizing manipulation tactics to convince others to spend time with themselves.
Here are some general tips that might help you out:
- Give yourself the space you need when you need it. If you feel overwhelmed or stressed out, there’s no shame in taking some time to focus on your own well-being before trying to help others.
- Try and identify what may be inspiring the attention-seeking behavior. Are things tough at home? Has your friend or loved one frequently experienced rejection or trauma?
- Create boundaries for you and the attention seeker and maintain them by letting them know if they cross the line.
- Validate your loved one’s emotions by reassuring them that you do indeed care for them. You can also gently mention how attention-seeking behaviors may influence your relationship (if you feel comfortable).
How do adults deal with attention-seeking behavior?
Whether it be an adult or an adolescent, an attention seeker might be exhibiting attention-seeking behaviors because there is something personally troubling them.
Though you might not see this behavior in the classroom for adults, grown individuals can actually have a more challenging time managing these emotions because they may feel less able to access the attention and approval they crave.
You can help loved ones and close friends with attention-seeking behaviors by first talking to them about their experiences. Please do not force them to open up about their reasons for seeking attention; instead, let them see that you are open and honest, and they, in turn, will likely open up to you about their feelings.
If you personally are experiencing attention-seeking behaviors and urges, seeking out the help of a mental health professional is a significant first step toward personal growth. Multiple therapeutic options, including applied behavior analysis, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and more, are available as potential treatment methods.
Being honest with your loved ones about how you feel is also imperative, especially if maintaining good relationships is essential to you.
Is attention-seeking a character trait?
A person who wants to seek attention is not necessarily doing it because it’s inherently embedded in who they are or their character.
An attention seeker may try to garner the focus of others because they are struggling inside. An individual may try to cope with conflict or stress by seeking out attention, especially if these behaviors have been successful for them in the past.
Some people might want to be attention seekers because they enjoy their time in the figurative spotlight. Some individuals indeed enjoy being the center of attention more than others. Still, these personality traits aren’t quite what we’re referring to when we discuss attention-seeking behaviors in the context of mental health.
If you know someone others consider to be an attention seeker, you might find it helpful to pay attention to their behavior. If they are acting ‘off’ in any way, or perhaps they are too reluctant to share any other personal details in their life, they could be using an attention-seeking persona to hide feelings they do not want to feel.
No matter what the case may be, approaching those labeled as attention seekers with empathy and a desire to understand where they’re coming from is key.
What is attention-seeking a symptom of?
Whether for positive attention or negative attention, attention-seeking can be a symptom of some mental illnesses, including histrionic personality disorder. Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is when individuals are constantly vying for attention through extreme emotions.
Approximately 2 percent of the United States population has HPD. Out of the 2 percent, HPD is seemingly more prevalent in women than in men.
Those with HPD may have trouble keeping close relationships. A partner in a romantic relationship may switch from being dependent to behaving in a controlling, somewhat intense manner.
Attention-seeking behaviors can also result from feelings of anxiety, stress, depression, and distress. When we feel alone or otherwise upset, the approval and love of others can feel like an ice pack on a sore wound.
Don’t beat yourself up if you tend to seek attention; understanding where your feelings come from is usually the first step toward addressing and remedying them. Try and be patient with yourself and with others.
