Is He A Player? Eight Signs You Should Stay Away From Him

Dating can be an overwhelming process. You may have to date a lot of people before you find someone you can have a healthy and lasting relationship with. Unfortunately, some people may end up dating untrustworthy individuals without realizing it. When their partners prove themselves to be dishonest and the relationship ends, it can be very difficult.

If you believe your partner may not have the best motivations, there are usually some reliable indicators you can look for. These signs may help you figure out whether a potential partner is a player and only looking for a casual relationship. Some of these signs will be identified in this article, so you can be on the lookout if you are unsure about someone you're seeing right now, or you can store the information away for future reference.

He is openly flirtatious

The first tell-tale sign that he may be a player is if you notice that a guy you're currently interested in is flattering others in addition to you. He may give you compliments, but you may also notice that he compliments and flirts with others too, especially in front of you. This may show that he is interested in more than one person at a time; but it can also demonstrate a clear lack of respect for how you feel when he flirts with other people right in front of you.

If you've noticed it before but didn't think anything of it initially, or if you think your judgment was clouded, be more aware of how he acts around others next time. He may not be taking your relationship as seriously as you are.

He doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship

If the individual you’re seeing avoids the topic of forming a relationship—especially if you've proposed the idea to him, or at the very least dropped a hint, and he's avoided it or changed the subject—this may be a red flag that he may not be interested in a commitment to one person. Sometimes an individual may enjoy spending time with you, but they may only want to keep things casual and keep their options open to meet others.

His past dating experience

In many cases, the history of past partners and relationships (or lack thereof) can be a tell-tale sign that the person you’re interested in may be a player. If he seems to only have short-term flings, have a known history of cheating, or have dated multiple people at the same time, these may be a sign that he could be a player, even if he's telling you he's only seeing you. It may be beneficial to be aware and keep your eyes open, regardless of what he says. In this case, actions often speak louder than words.

Some guys who are players may even get defensive when confronted about their past, which could signal that they’re trying to hide something from you. Of course, it is also possible that they’re trying to reform themselves and settle down.

He’s very protective of his phone

If the person you’re seeing is protective of his phone, doesn’t ever let you see who he's texting, takes calls out of the room often, or hides all notifications on his lock screen, it is possible he may be trying to hide something from you. It’s important to respect someone. However, if he can’t be honest about who he's talking to, it may be a sign that he is a player and is seeing others.

He never calls you and only texts

In today’s world, many people prefer texting over calls as their main mode of communication due to its convenience. However, it’s natural to want to call the person you’re dating to hear their voice. If the person you’re seeing rejects your phone calls often but seems to text right back, or there seems to always be an excuse as to why he can’t speak on the phone, it’s possible he may be trying to hide the fact that he's spending time with someone else. Of course, this is not always the case, but if this seems to be a recurring pattern, it may be beneficial to take a note of this behavior.

Social media contradicts what he tells you

It may not be a very good sign if you try to make plans with someone you’re dating, and he tells you that he's at work, has to do homework, or has other responsibilities that need to be taken care of, but his social media says otherwise.

If you are scrolling through social media, and you notice that there are recent photos or stories showing that he's with friends or with someone you suspect he may also be dating, this could be a bad sign. This may be hurtful because it likely means he hasn't been honest with you. Other issues related to social media are a refusal to ever post you on his social media or an excessive number of posts with a particular person you suspect he's also interested in.

He sends too many mixed signals

When a partner sends you mixed signals, it may be incredibly confusing. One moment everything seems to be just fine, but later he may appear to be disinterested in you. This can be hard for just about anyone, and while people can go from hot to cold without being a player, that behavior may be a sign of one in many cases, especially if it's combined with some other signs in this list.

Some individuals can seem overly eager at first and even suggest very premature relationship milestones, such as marriage or even having kids, and then suddenly seem to become cold and distant. Sometimes this can mean that they are losing interest or are seeing someone else at the same time. It may also mean, however, that they’re dealing with other concerns—like work or family problems—that are causing them to act differently. Or they may simply be playing games.

He lies often, even about the small things

Some people will tell small lies to impress you, while others will be dishonest about things that people find important, such as their age, what they do for a living, whether they already have kids, and so on. Sometimes there aren't bad intentions with the lies. Unfortunately, though, some people may not have your best interests at heart and could be lying to manipulate you or hide things from you.

If you catch the person you’re dating lying often, being dishonest about even fundamental things, there’s a chance they are not going to be committed to you—and you may not be able to trust what they say. Trust is the foundation of a strong and healthy relationship. If you don’t trust the person you’re with, this is a potential sign that you need to reevaluate things.

An online therapist can help you analyze troubling signs

Without proper guidance, it may be challenging to know if the person you’re dating is a player or not. However, if you start paying attention to their behavior and become more aware of these signs, you may be able to uncover their true intentions and keep yourself from potentially getting hurt. The realization may be disappointing and hard to accept, especially if you really like them, but there are plenty of potential partners who will value you and love you for who you really are.

If you've been involved with someone who has hurt you, remember you’re not alone. There is support available that can help you get through this difficult time. Regain is an online therapy platform that can match you with a licensed therapist who best suits your needs. They may be able to help you learn how to cope and feel empowered again. Online therapy is convenient and affordable, and you can get support from the comfort of your own home or wherever you have an internet connection.

Online therapy has helped many individuals sort through feelings and situations to help them find solutions. Online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy, and it's available even to those who may live in a more remote area.

Takeaway

Moving on from someone who you discover is a player may not be easy, even if you know you've made the right decision; in the long run, you’ll have the opportunity to find someone who values you and whom you can trust.

 in the long run, you’ll have the opportunity to find someone who values you and whom you can trust.