“I Need Someone to Talk To": 4 Ways to Get Help
By Joy Youell
Updated April 27, 2020
Reviewer Dawn Brown
Life can be hard. Being alone can make it worse. However, everyone goes through ups and downs in life. Regardless of your personality or resilience, there will always be times when you simply shouldn't have to "go it alone." You may be carrying a burden, experiencing a loss, or grappling with a mental health issue like depression. Whatever scenario fits your situation, sometimes we all just need someone to talk to. There are a lot of ways that talking to others can help you, but you need to be able to find the right outlet.
How Talking To Someone Else Can Help
Talking to another person can help in many ways. You may want to talk to someone because of a traumatic event. You may want to talk to someone because you feel overwhelmed, confused or under pressure. Whatever the reason, talking to someone who cares can help you sort through everything in a productive way. Some of the ways that talking to another person can help you include:
Sorting Through Complex Feelings
You are a complex person. The thoughts and feelings that arise during times of heightened stress, when making big decisions or when dealing with potential mental health issues may feel new and a little scary. Talking to someone out loud or even online can help you begin to name what you feel. You can call out your emotions and then work through them.
What you feel is important. There is a significant connection between your mind and body, and this encompasses your thought life and emotional life. What you feel can often help you understand or process something you've experienced. Acknowledging your feelings is important. Another person can help you do this. They can also help you interpret and collect what you are saying in a meaningful way that addresses root issues.
Gain A New Perspective
Talking to someone else about your outward and inward life can help you gain a new perspective. People who listen well can reflect back to you what you are saying in a unique way. This can empower you to gain fresh understanding. Better understanding the cause of your feelings or seeing your situation more clearly is immensely helpful in moving forward.
An outside perspective is often the missing component as you think through events and incidents in your life. When weighing options, assessing experiences or remembering events, having someone else understand and lend an ear can be very helpful. You may see things you didn't see before. You may hear yourself articulate something you hadn't fully understood. This can represent a huge turning point as you process or make a decision.
Realize That You're Not Alone
If you're going through a period in your life where you feel alone, or like you're the only person that has experienced a certain situation or felt a certain way, talking to other people can help. We often hesitate to be transparent about our struggles. It's easy to live with a brave face. Talking about something can help you realize just how common your issue may be. It may also help you realize that you are not alone.
Hearing someone say, "I know how you feel" or "I've been there too," can help reassure you. You are not alone. Your reactions weren't strange or unnatural. Your motives are relatable. Your fears are shared. Sometimes this provides the motivation to persevere through difficulty. If you talk to somebody who has experienced similar circumstances, you can experience empathy and useful advice.
Talk to Someone: Build a Support System
The first place many people think the turn when they need someone to talk to is a family member or friend. It's important to have a good support system in place to help you deal with all the ups and downs of life.
Family members can be a valuable support system if you have a healthy relationship with your family. These are the people that have known you for the longest and have seen you in good times and bad times. They've been with you at your best and your worst.
However, your family doesn't have to be part of your support system. If you have a complicated relationship with your family, you don't need to turn to them when you're struggling. There are other people, including friends, who can be part of your support network. In fact, there are times when it's much better to get the perspective of someone who is not a family member.
What To Look For In A Support System
Not everybody you're close to is the right person to confide in during a tough season. When it comes to forming a support group in your life, you need to find people you can trust. Throughout different seasons of life, you will have different kinds of issues. You will want to build a good support system that has multiple people you can talk to about different things. For instance, you will know whether a certain friend can relate to a struggle you are going through. That may be the person to choose when you want to talk about that struggle.
There are a few things that you should look for before confiding in someone:
- Are they trustworthy?
- Are they a good listener?
- Do you trust their judgment?
Not every person is going to be the right person to go to for support. Be thoughtful as you choose the person you want to talk to about your life. Keep in mind, your support system may not have the right person to talk to for certain kinds of experiences, traumas, mental health issues or complicated struggles. In that case, you may choose to reach out to a professional.
Call A Hotline
If you don't have a support system or need immediate help, you can call a hotline. There are many different options that you can choose from depending on your situation.
When you call a hotline, you'll connect with someone who cares. People on the other end of the line are either working for an organization or donating their time with one because they care about the people that call. Even though they don't know you, they are setting aside time to be able to talk to you. They will be your listening ear if that's what you need. They will have resources that they can refer you to if you need additional help.
Whether you're looking for information, help with issues such as substance abuse or suicide, or you need someone to talk to, a hotline could be a good option.
- Contact Helpline for emotional listening: 1-800-932-4616 (Toll Free)
- Suicide Prevention Network 1-800-273-8255
- Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255 and press 1
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
If one of these hotlines isn't right for you, a simple online search of what you're looking for will point you in the right direction.
Find an Online Support Group
One way to build your support system is to reach out to an online support group. There are many different options. For example, you could join an online forum of people that are dealing with issues that are similar to what you're dealing with. Or, you can find online membership groups that you can join for people going through similar things.
These groups can be helpful because you don't have to be face-to-face with people but can benefit from talking to people who understand. You will be able to both get support and offer support to other people.
If you're interested in joining a group, you can start by searching online to find a group that matches your needs.
Work With A Therapist
Therapy is another great option to turn to if you find yourself thinking, "I need someone to talk to." Mental health professionals are trained to discuss mental health challenges and life situations.
A therapist can be very helpful because they are impartial to your personal life. You can tell them things that you may not be comfortable telling people who personally know you. It's a counselor's job to listen to you and guide you without judging you. A therapist won't make decisions for you but will help you make the best decision that you can.
If you are dealing with a specific challenge like anxiety, depression or substance abuse, you can find a therapist that is trained in that area. They will know the best strategies that you can use to make the improvements that you're looking for in your life.
However, not everyone has access to reputable therapists nearby, and not everyone feels comfortable in a waiting room surrounded by other people. This is where online counseling services like ReGain come in. Whether you have a chronic mental health condition or are dealing with a specific event, online therapy can be a powerful solution. There are numerous ways that online counseling can benefit you:
- Ease of access: you can experience online therapy in your home
- Scheduling: you have a wide range of availability from numerous therapists, at a time that is convenient for you
- Regular and reliable: online therapy is consistent and can provide a reliable source of support
ReGain is an online therapy resource that has helped countless people overcome issues and move forward in their lives. Below are some reviews of ReGain counselors for you to review, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Gia has been my rock and go to. She is there, really there for me. Her advice and counseling has been spot on and I am so happy she is in my life. She has helped me get through the worst time of my life."
"Marlene is always there for me when I need her the most! I have a video call with her every week and feel more clear-headed and focused after every session. 100% recommend!"
Everyone has low points, issues and challenges in life. Talking to someone can help. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, you have options. You are not alone. By thoughtfully and intentionally building a support system, you will have people available to help in your time of need. Whether these are family, friends, online groups or an online therapist, there are many people who are ready to listen and help you overcome your obstacles. Don't hesitate to reach out and make connections that will benefit your life and wellness.