How To Heal After You Have Given Up On Relationships

Have you gotten to the point of giving up on relationships altogether because of a bad breakup? Maybe you have had so many harmful experiences while dating that you have finally reached your limit. In your mind, you may believe that giving up on relationships can help prevent any more heartbreak. Many people feel this way at some point in their lives. Relationships can lead to a lot of hurt, especially when someone you love lets you down. While time can heal in some cases, there are also plenty of other ways to move forward after you have given up on relationships. Whether you seek healing and do not plan to be in another relationship, or you would like to heal to get back into the dating game, it can be important to let go of the past so you can look forward to the future. In this article, we’ll be exploring ways to do just that.

Ways to heal after giving up on relationships

Depending on how you were hurt, there may be certain methods of healing that are more helpful than others. At the end of the day, you know yourself best, including what can cheer you up and take your mind off things. During this healing process, it can be vital to put yourself first and prioritize those things that make you happy. Consider the following ways to heal after you’ve given up on relationships:

Use your time wisely

Letting time go by may not heal your emotional wounds if you are not taking active steps to heal. Instead, it is what you choose to do with your time that can provide healing. When you use your time wisely and intentionally, ensuring that you’re keeping your focus on healing, you are more likely to see outcomes that you can feel proud of.

In addition to using your time wisely when healing, it can be important to take your time to heal. It’s difficult if not impossible to move past emotional hurt overnight, even though that may be preferable. Every person heals at different rates, and this process isn’t always linear. There may be days you feel on top of the world and other days you still feel sad or bitter about the past. So, avoid comparing your healing timeline to someone else’s. Give yourself the time you need to get back up on your feet.

Talk to people close to you

When you are at the point of giving up on relationships, expressing your feelings can be helpful. Telling someone you trust how you feel and venting your frustrations can get those thoughts out of your mind and out in the open. This can help you feel relieved and let go of any sadness or anger you may be feeling. Talking with a close friend or a family member can be an effective way to work through things. Be sure you confide in someone you can trust.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to a friend or relative, you may want to consider talking to a counselor. Licensed counselors are trained to help you express your emotions and to help ensure you are moving in the right direction. Meeting with a counselor regularly is one of the most powerful things you can do to kickstart your healing process. They can help you to recognize how you are feeling and offer advice about seeking a future relationship.

Let go of what never was

Perhaps you had a plan for your past relationship. Maybe you envisioned your partner changing their behavior or the two of you embarking on life’s adventures together. Few things hurt more than realizing you never got to experience what you had envisioned. You may feel like you were silly to want those things or believe you wasted your time. To move forward, it can be helpful to let go of the life you had in mind. Recognize that you can get the things you wanted with someone else, and there is still hope for you to be happy. Holding onto what you envisioned as your relationship's future can hinder your healing process significantly. Try to accept what you were holding onto, and then work to let it go. 

Journal your feelings

Journaling can be an effective way to express how you are feeling without relying on someone to be a listening ear. You are free to write for as long as you wish and about whatever you desire and can clearly organize your thoughts around your heartbreak. Try to set aside ample time each day to be with your thoughts and write or consider writing whenever the urge comes. 

A very popular writing method is the stream-of-consciousness method in which you sit down with paper and pen and write everything you think. You don't have to think about what you are writing; instead, you write down anything and everything that comes to mind. Many people feel very relieved when using this writing method, as they can finally release the thoughts that have been trapped in their heads. The stream-of-consciousness method can also help you to recognize your true feelings when they’re written down on paper.

Read

Going out and purchasing a few self-help books can be very beneficial. Many books go into greater detail about how to heal from the past. Most of these books have step-by-step processes, or they offer personal advice from the author. If you don't prefer self-help books, you can also purchase a new book to take your mind off the pain you are feeling. It can be therapeutic to have a few moments to think about something other than your past relationships, particularly if you tend to overthink.

Allow yourself to feel

Allowing yourself to recognize, feel, and process the emotions you are working through can be important. While therapy, journaling, listening to music, and other methods can be helpful, sometimes you may need some time to reflect and cry about your feelings. Crying releases feel-good chemicals that can ease both physical and emotional pain, which may help you feel a sense of calmness, even if just for a time. Holding onto painful emotions and not having a release can be harmful to your body and mind and may delay the healing process. When you numb your feelings of sadness, disappointment, and anger, you can also numb your happiness and joy. When you numb your feelings, you may feel better for a while, but end up needing to deal with the issue later.

Accept change

Along with letting go and allowing yourself to feel your emotions, it can also be crucial to know how to accept change. When you have given up on relationships because of heartbreak, you are in a brand-new position in your life. You have new daily responsibilities and tasks, and you can be selfish and prioritize what you want. Once you’ve accepted the change and prepared for what’s next in life, you can start to embrace the new stage. 

To grow in acceptance of your new life, try doing something you have never done before but have always wanted to do. Get a haircut, go on a solo trip, buy a new outfit, go to the gym, or go out with a friend for lunch or coffee. Make your life how you want it to be. You are in control of your life, and you can make it look and feel however you want. Whatever you have wanted to do in the past but have been prevented from doing is possible to do now. Whether this is traveling, seeking out new experiences, or moving to a new city, take charge of your emotions and embrace the new journey that you are on.

Online counseling for healing from the past

Even if you feel like you’ve already given up on relationships, it’s never too late to adopt a new mindset and change your path. Healing from your past can be important as you look toward the future, and a therapist can assist you in this process. Regardless of what has caused you emotional pain in the past, you can create a new course for yourself by working with a therapist either locally or online. Regain is an online counseling platform that offers services to individuals and couples. This could be useful as you can work through personal problems individually and then involve any future partners in the therapy process as needed. Experiencing healing can be a lifelong journey, but therapy could be the first step in a new direction.

The effectiveness of online counseling 

Online counseling has been shown to be just as effective as in-person interventions for a variety of mental health concerns. In one large-scale review, researchers assessed 17 different studies and found that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was more efficacious than face-to-face CBT in treating adult depression symptom severity. Internet-based CBT was also less costly than those services offered in person and outcomes did not vary when participants were split into groups such as age and location. 

Takeaway

If you’ve given up on relationships, you might be feeling a handful of emotions such as regret, grief, and sadness. Accepting how you feel can help you make peace with the past while also looking toward what’s next. With time and healing, it’s possible to move forward and find love again. It can be important to ensure you’ve healed from the past so that you can set your future relationships up for success. Whether the past is affecting your current relationship or you’re feeling hesitant to start a new relationship at all, counseling could help. A counselor can help you to learn valuable lessons from your past that can support a healthier, happier future whether you’re in a relationship or not.