Feeling Alone In A Relationship? 5 Possible Reasons Why

By ReGain Editorial Team|Updated July 12, 2022

Have you ever felt alone in a relationship? Even though you are with your partner, you still have a sense of longing for the company. Or, you still feel lonely, despite being in a relationship with someone. Everything seems to have changed, and you’re not sure why. You are feeling lonely, even when you two are together. Whether you have been with your partner for a short time or for a long time, there are a few reasons why you might be feeling this way. You also might not be the only one in the relationship feeling lonely. In this blog post, we will go over some common reasons people begin to feel alone in a relationship and fix the issue.

5 Reasons Why You Are Feeling Alone In A Relationship

Are You Feeling Alone In Your Relationship?

Even though we are just covering five reasons people feel alone in their relationships, there could be another cause in certain cases. If you read this blog post and feel none of the reasons mentioned relate to you and your partner and you can’t pinpoint the issue, you may have to do some reflecting. Think about when this feeling started and how long you have been feeling this way. You can also seek help from a licensed counselor so they can help you navigate through your feelings.

  1. Communication Problems

A lack of effective communication can cause a relationship many problems. If neither of you knows how to connect through conversation emotionally, you tend to stop talking at all. In a lot of relationships with this problem, conversations tend to be one-sided. When you try talking to your partner, you might feel like they aren’t listening, interested, or paying attention to you. This can make you feel lonely and feel like you need to avoid getting in your partner’s way. You feel like an inconvenience to them. This is not true, and you should express how you feel to your partner. Let them know specific instances where they made you feel ignored or unimportant. Being as specific as possible can help them understand what they did so they can fix it.

Couples counseling is very effective in teaching couples how to communicate effectively with one another. It will help you both resolve conflict before it gets to the point of not speaking to each other at all. You both will learn how you like to be spoken to. No one wants to be yelled at, and everyone prefers to be spoken to in different tones during a disagreement. There are a variety of communication techniques you and your partner can learn from a licensed counselor. Knowing what works for each other helps so much in making sure your discussions are as productive at resolving the issue as possible. You and your partner should be able to confide in one another. Improving your communication will help you both when to try to express your emotions to each other.

  1. Feeling Ignored

If you feel like you are being ignored all the time, this can be very isolating. Being ignored can be physically as well as emotionally, not just verbally. Whether your partner ignores your acts of physical touch or when you are giving what is called an emotional bid, you can feel ignored. Are they turning their bodies towards you or away from you when you are speaking to them? Do they sit or stand straight, or are they slumped and uninterested? These are some big signs of being physically ignored. If you two are not trying to deepen your emotional connection, this can make things worse. This behavior needs to be addressed, as your partner may have no idea what they are doing.

If you feel that no matter what you say to your partner, whether that be a compliment, a genuine question about their life, or thanking them, you will be ignored, this is also something that should be addressed. You feel like they don’t want to hear what you have to say. They never respond in the way you expect them to. Let them know you want to share how you feel and that they should feel comfortable sharing their feelings with you. If your partner does have time to listen to you but chooses to always go out with friends, you should tell them how that makes you feel. We don’t want to tell them to stop seeing their friends, but it should be the top priority to fix it if the relationship is suffering. Telling your partner to stop seeing their friends so much can cause resentment from them, and the friends so avoid doing that. Instead, ask for someone on one with just the two of you on a certain day of the week or ask if they can stay and spend time with you. When you felt alone in a relationship and ignored, it is always important to bring it up to your partner.

  1. One Of You Could Be Going Through A Difficult Time

If you feel alone in your relationship, keep in mind that either you or your partner might be going through a difficult time and not expressing it. One of you might be going through a difficult time and is not opening up about it. Now is not the time to try to handle it all on your own. Talk to each other, figure out what is causing the problem, and work together to make it better. Remember that couples counseling will help both of you work on this and make good progress. You shouldn’t be keeping your feelings to yourself if they are hindering your relationship and making you feel lonely.

Make sure you let your partner know that you have noticed a change in their personality or how they carry themselves. The root cause could be many things such as parenting demands, problems at work, a death, unresolved resentment over a particular situation. It is very important to figure out the cause so you can both come up with a solution. You both need to take the time needed to work on your relationship. In a relationship, you are a team. If one is going through a difficult time, you both are in it together. You need to work together to get through it.

  1. Not Having Time Alone Together

You could be feeling alone in a relationship because you are alone very frequently. You might not have alone time together because of conflicting schedules. This can make one or both of you feel alone. Your relationship must make time for each other. Go on a date, watch a movie together, practice closeness with your partner. Talk to each other. Just whatever you can do to make time for your partner, do it even if you have to reschedule something or cancel something altogether.

We all know that life gets busy, but when you feel alone in what was once a very committed and close relationship, you need to take a few steps back, find the root cause of the problem, and fix it. If you don’t have alone time, then there is most likely no intimacy in the relationship. Physical touch is very important, and you need to practice it if you want the relationship to last and be strong. Start with scheduling out a few nights each month to spend time together and be alone. If you need to hire a babysitter or ask a family member to watch your kids for the night, make sure you do it. Having a happy relationship where you feel connected with your partner is well worth it.

  1. Lack Of Trust

The last reason you may be feeling alone is that there could be a lack of trust between you two. Either you lack trust in them, or they are feeling it towards you. Trust is very important in all relationships. Perhaps it is the lack of trust to come together to talk about problems you two are having. It is important to let your partner know that it is safe to talk to you without fear that their words will be repeated outside sources. It can be hard for some people to be vulnerable, even with those they love, so they tend to retreat and isolate themselves, making their partner feel alone. There are many reasons someone may have trust issues from childhood experiences, past relationships, and even just paranoia. No matter what the reason is, it is important to address these trust issues with your partner.

If you find that trust issues are the root cause of feeling lonely, it is time to work together with your partner to determine what caused the lack of trust. Couples therapy can help if you two have tried talking it through but have seen no improvement. You might need a therapist that can help you two learn how to communicate clearly to one another. Once you two resolve the trust issues you are experiencing, your relationship will improve greatly.

Feeling Alone In A Relationship

Are You Feeling Alone In Your Relationship?

All of the reasons mentioned above can be fixed with a little time and effort from both of you. In an article by Dr. Andrea F. Poland, she reminds readers not to feel guilty about being lonely in a relationship. It is easy to blame yourself for your relationship’s problems, but you need to understand that feeling lonely is very common. You and your partner can get past this with some time and effort. If you improve your communication, work on your trust issues, and try spending time together, do not hesitate to go to relationship counseling. Although relationship counseling can seem intimidating, your counselor will help you stop feeling alone in your relationship by addressing specific issues. Try to stay motivated because if you love your partner, the effort you put into getting your relationship back on track will be worth it.

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