Do Guys Cuddle If They Don’t Like You?

Updated April 4, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Trying to figure out whether someone likes you can sometimes seem challenging. You may have felt sure signs that they do like you, but at other times, they may seem more detached, leaving you confused. 

If someone sends you mixed signals, you might assume they don’t like you that much. This can become even more complicated if this person tries to cuddle with you. Do guys want to if they don't like you romantically? Or is this a sign that the guy is interested in something more? The answer might depend on his behavior and the other signs you observe.

If you’re unsure that someone has romantic feelings for you

Often, we would not expect someone to want to cuddle unless they're interested romantically. However, cuddling releases the hormone oxytocin, which gives us natural feelings of well-being. But you don’t have to cuddle to produce oxytocin- exercise, listening to music, and singing are all ways to boost oxytocin as well. You can receive the benefits of oxytocin from cuddling with anyone. However, most people save cuddling as something they do with their romantic partner and may not be inclined to cuddle with someone they have no romantic feelings for. This means that it's a complicated topic, even though most people associate cuddling with romantic activity.

Many men wouldn't cuddle unless they are romantically interested

Many men wouldn't necessarily try to cuddle with you unless they were interested in you in some way romantically. However, this only sometimes means they seek a serious or long-term relationship. For example, for some men, cuddling to them would be a kind of transition into fooling around. They may often use cuddling to initiate kissing, then try to proceed to take things further. Cuddling may be their way of forming an intimate experience with you.

The guy you're hanging out with might like you, but he could feel uncomfortable when it comes to talking to someone he is interested in, or he may be too shy to try and initiate things to go further. In this case, he may enjoy cuddling with you, and he might hope you'll give him a sign that you're also interested in him. It may not be evident to him that you're interested, even if you're willing to cuddle.

If you believe this guy seems to like you, he might be building up the courage to make a move and ask you out.

How does he act around you?

When figuring out how this guy truly feels about you, observing how he acts around you is important. Remember, actions speak louder than words. His desire to cuddle with you certainly indicates that he may like you romantically. Some people would say that it is an excellent sign that he is interested in you in a romantic nature. If you aren't convinced of this, you may look for other little signs. Is he trying to spend a lot of time around you? Do you catch him staring at you sometimes? These are signs that he probably has a crush on you.


What happens when you're cuddling?

If you choose to cuddle with this individual, and you're wondering if he's interested in you, observing what happens while you're cuddling may be helpful. Does he fall asleep quickly, or is he finding ways to touch you? If he starts playing with your hair or rubbing your body in some way, then that's undoubtedly an indication that he is interested in you romantically in some way. Also, many men have a particular chemical response to cuddling with women they find attractive. If he gets an erection while you're cuddling, then there is a good chance he has feelings for you beyond friendship.

Why do you think he isn't interested?

Sometimes we have a gut feeling or intuition about why we feel a certain way. If you question this individual's interest in you, there is usually a reason behind it. If this person has cuddled with you or wants to cuddle with you, consider why you feel they aren't interested in you or don't like you. What is it that this individual is doing, or isn't doing, that makes you think they aren't interested? Does he seem to push you away when others are around? Have you asked him to hang out, and he declined your invitation? It's possible you may be overanalyzing things, but it's also possible he’s trying to give you a signal that he’s not interested.  

Ultimately you want to invest your time in someone that makes you feel good. If this person doesn't make you feel good or you constantly feel insecure about the relationship, it may be best to keep your options open for someone who expresses mutual feelings.

If you’re unsure that someone has romantic feelings for you

Have an open and honest conversation

If you need clarification about where you stand with someone, having an open and honest conversation with them can be incredibly beneficial. Clear communication is vital in any relationship and should clear up any misunderstandings or misinterpretations you may have.  You could discuss your feelings with this guy to get everything out in the open. Be honest about your feelings and ask them what they want from your relationship together. You'll never know for sure where you stand unless you ask.

Let him know if he makes you uncomfortable

If you're in a situation where a guy is trying to cuddle with you, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, it's' essential to speak up. Cuddling with someone you don't want to will not make them like you more, and it may give the wrong impression that you enjoy it when you don't. If he also touches you in specific ways and you aren't comfortable allowing him to do so, tell him he needs to stop. It's' perfectly okay to say no. You don't need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

If he reacts negatively when you tell him to stop or keeps making you feel uncomfortable, getting help from someone else may be beneficial. Talk to a friend or an authority figure who will make you feel safe. No one has a right to put someone in an awkward position they aren't consenting to. You might have mixed feelings about this person, but you can trust your gut if something feels off. You should never feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.

Ask a relationship expert for dating advice

If you have difficulty reading a guy’s behavior and can’t find the right words to express your feelings, seeking help from others is an excellent way to work on it. Talking to close friends or family can be a good choice, but people often need advice from a professional, unbiased source. 

Relationship counselors and individual therapists are trained to help people experiencing challenges, including relationships and communication skills. Despite its many benefits, some people don’t seek counseling to help them through life’s challenges. The reasons for this are many and are usually practically motivated. For example, some may have scheduling conflicts that make it difficult to get to and from appointments during a busy work week. Others may assume they can’t afford therapy or feel uncomfortable talking to a therapist in person about sensitive topics. 

The rise in popularity of online therapy has resolved many of these barriers. Platforms like Regain match couples and individuals with experienced, licensed online therapists specializing in a variety of treatments. Online therapy with Regain is convenient, and sessions can be scheduled at your convenience. You can speak to your therapist anywhere with a reliable internet connection via online messaging and video chat. You can also connect with them by phone and text. 

Online therapy is often more affordable than traditional therapy without insurance and is as effective as conventional therapy for many needs. For example, the University of Amsterdam conducted a series of controlled trials to measure the effectiveness of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (iCBT) for treating various mental health issues. Researchers reported that iCBT is “a viable and effective alternative to face-to-face treatment.”  Out of 840 participants, the researchers found that 82% of participants adhered to the program completely, and 95% of those who stayed in virtual therapy maintained reductions in symptoms over long periods.


Searching within is the best place to start if you need help with communication and interpersonal relationships. An online therapist through Regain can help uncover what keeps you from developing the relationships you want and communicating effectively with others. 

For Additional Help & Support With Your ConcernsThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.