Dirty Talk For Her – 11 Ways To Turn Her On With Your Words

Updated April 8, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Intimacy can be vital to a healthy and loving relationship, helping you and your partner enhance your attraction to each other and connect more deeply. Whether you’ve been together many years or you’re in a new relationship, it can help to find new ways of spicing things up in the bedroom. One effective way of stoking the sexual flame is through dirty talk—suggestive words spoken during intimacy. Becoming more verbal in the bedroom can turn your partner on and help you connect with her in a new way. It can be hard to put together the right words to excite the special woman in your life, though. To that end, we’ve gathered some phrases that can help you express yourself sexually and put your partner in the mood.

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11 dirty talk phrases to try with her

Research shows that communication during sex can add to sexual pleasure. Dirty talk is appealing to many women as it can help them verbalize their desires, add an element of excitement, and improve their self-confidence. But not everyone knows how to start talking dirty. 

Remember that having a discussion prior to engaging in dirty talk is important. You and your partner should be on the same page when it comes to what is and isn’t acceptable so that you aren’t crossing boundaries or hurting feelings. You may find that some forms of dirty talk are more or less enjoyable or comfortable. Over time, you and your partner can develop a sexual language that works for you both. The following are 11 phrases you can use the next time you want to tell your partner how you feel about her in the bedroom. 

1. "I can't wait to get you alone tonight."

One of the main goals of dirty talk is to turn her on, so saying something before you’re together can be effective. You can let your partner know how excited you are to be intimate in a text message, a note, or even a phone call. While foreplay is essential for most people, it can be particularly important to women. Telling her that you can't wait to get her alone is a way of engaging in foreplay before you’ve even seen her. 

2. "You're so sexy that it's hard to believe you're mine sometimes."

Research has shown that improving your partner’s sexual self-esteem can increase their pleasure, so it can be important to let your partner know how attractive you find her. Dirty talk like this can strengthen the attraction between you and your partner and give her an idea of how excited you are. You can use this phrase, or a similar one, before, during, and after sex.  

3. "I want you so bad that it hurts."

Now it's time to get a little bit more sexual with your dirty talk. Again, telling the woman in your life how much you want her lets her know where you both stand. This is a simple but effective phrase that includes words indicating an element of mischief, which can heat things up quickly. Dirty talk like this can be a signal to your partner that your next sexual encounter is going to be a particularly spicy one. She might just let you know that she wants you equally bad. 


4. "I want to do whatever you want me to."

One good way to approach dirty talk is to make it about her. Let her know how much you want to please her and that it turns you on to turn her on. Telling her that you want to do what she wants gives off a different message than simply saying you want to have sex. It means you’re taking responsibility for her pleasure, which can be very sexy for a woman to know. Tell her how you feel and then watch it play out in the bedroom. 

5. "I can't stop thinking of how great you looked in those ______."

If your partner has lingerie or other clothes that she busts out on occasion, consider complimenting her on how amazing she looks in them. Perhaps she recently bought a new dress that turns you on or underwear that is particularly alluring. Sending a text like this is one of several fun ways to  prior to intimacy; if it leads to erotic talk in bed, all the better. 

6. "I know what you like."

Displaying confidence in your own sexual proficiency can be sexy to your partner. This is an effective phrase for when you and your partner are in the middle of enjoying each other’s bodies. You can also say this before intimacy—letting her know that you’re going to be focusing on doing things that have worked in the past can put in her in the mood. You can get specific here. Discussing her favorite position or the last time you had a memorable session between the sheets (or elsewhere!) might excite her. 

7. "Do you like that?"

Communication during sex can help you provide her with as much pleasure as possible. Consider asking her if she likes how you are making her feel or what else she wants to do. She may be ready to move on or to do something you haven’t tried before. Seeing how she responds to positions or sensations can inform your sex life—both in the moment and in the future. 

8. "I hope you're ready for me."

If you are in the right position for it, then you might be able to whisper this one right into her ear. Anticipation of intimacy can enhance pleasure by heightening the sensations she feels. Saying this or a similar phrase can create that sexual tension and excite her. 

9. "You feel so good."

Consider letting your partner know how well you fit together in bed. This is a strong form of dirty talk that can help provide encouragement and also a bit of steaminess. Telling her that her body is pleasurable can be a huge turn-on. 

10. "You know how I like it."

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Are you looking for ways to deepen intimacy in your relationship?

The aforementioned study linking sexual satisfaction and sexual self-esteem also found a connection between pleasure and sexual assertiveness. Letting your partner know what you want in the bedroom can be helpful, particularly if you haven’t voiced your desires in the past. If your partner is doing something that you like a lot, let her know. 

11. "I can't wait to be with you again."

A line like this is a great one to slip in after you’ve been intimate with your partner. In a text message or even right after sex, you can let her know that you're anxious to reignite the flame. This can increase anticipation for next time and give her an idea of how satisfied you are. Little sexy remarks this are good for keeping your sexual flame burning when you can't be together. Let her know that she is desired and keep her thinking about the great sex you’ve been having.

Enhancing intimate moments with online therapy

Studies show that online therapy can help couples be more verbal and intimate in relationships. In a study that included over 1,300 total participants, researchers found that online therapy led to enhanced communication and intimacy, in addition to significant improvements in overall relationship functioning. These results can be added to those of an increasingly large number of studies pointing to the efficacy of online therapy for various relationship challenges. 

If you’d like to spice up your sex life, consider getting matched with a licensed therapist through an online therapy platform like Regain. With online therapy, you and your partner can participate in therapy remotely, which can be more comfortable if you’re not yet ready to discuss topics like intimacy in person. Regain has thousands of mental health professionals—with a wide range of specialties—so you’ll have a good chance of working with someone who can address your specific areas of concern. A couples therapist can help you and your partner be more communicative in your relationship, whether that’s inside or outside of the bedroom. 

Therapist reviews

“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”


Verbally expressing yourself when you’re getting physical is an effective way of enhancing your experience. In addition to the above statements, you can come up with your own ways of talking dirty with your partner. And if you’d like further help increasing intimacy, consider connecting with a licensed therapist online. With the right support, you and your partner can continue to develop a strong (and steamy) bond. 

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