Appreciating Your Man: 5 Ways To Show Him You Appreciate Him
Don't you hate when you feel like no one appreciates you and the work you're doing? It's a relatively consistent annoyance among people. Appreciation doesn't just matter in spaces like the workplace. It's also vital in romantic relationships.
It's easy when we've been in a relationship for a while to start taking our partner and everything they do for granted, but this can be dangerous for your relationship. Like you, your partner wants to feel recognized for who they are and what they do. So, what are some ways to express your appreciation?
Why Does Appreciation Matter So Much?
Showing appreciation does a lot more than making your partner feel good about themselves for the moment. It supports the partnership long-term by:
- Helping you keep the love alive. Verbal displays of appreciation are, after all, a show of affection.
- It is opening up a line of conversation. Communication in a relationship isn't just about talking when something goes wrong; it's also vital to talk about it when things go right. This can strengthen the partnership and make both of you feel good about the relationship and yourselves.
- It can improve your mindset. Being grateful, as a general statement, can support your mental health. In relationships, it can help you see your connection in a more positive light.
In relationships, it's common that we fall into routines and unintentionally stop showing affection as much. When you speak on why you appreciate your partner, you shift your focus to all the things you like about them. They may have been there the entire time, but you may have forgotten about them because as a relationship matures, you start to see the imperfections that you missed early on in the relationship.
Appreciating Your Man: How To Do It
- Say It
Your partner is not a mind reader. You might think about how feeling grateful you are for them, how great they are, and how much they do for you, but if you don't tell them, they have no way of knowing. That means you may be thinking about how great this person is while they're feeling unappreciated because you aren't communicating it to them. You don't want that!
Communicating is one of the most important things in a relationship. Though it may sound cliche, a lot of the time, concerns such as feeling unappreciated can be solved with communication. If you spend the time learning how to communicate effectively with your partner, it will help you avoid some potential problems.
- Mention The Little Things
Sometimes, the little things are what enhance our days the most.
Spend some time thinking about all the little things that your significant other does for you. Do they get the coffee going in the morning? Put gas in your car if they drive it? Purposefully choose a restaurant that they know you like when you two go out? Kiss you before going to bed?
As you go through your day, pay attention to the subtle things your partner does. Ensure that you do this, intending to acknowledge the positives instead of spot all the things they do that you can't stand. Then, as you start to spot them, tell your partner you appreciate the little things about them then maybe make a list of these things to use in the future.
- Surprise Him With A Note
Saying the words aloud is great, but it's also nice to tell your partner you appreciate them by writing notes. You can do this as one long letter or write little notes with one little thing you appreciate about them.
Writing it down can be a nice touch because he can keep the notes to look back on in the future. They also allow you to leave them in fun places for your partner to find. It could be on the steering wheel of their car, the box of their favorite protein bars, or the bathroom mirror.
Then, not only will they see it and know that you appreciate who they are and what they're doing, but others will, too.
Building your partner up in front of others can do wonders for their self-esteem as well. If your partner struggles with jealousy or has been hidden in past relationships, this can be a great way to reassure them that you want to celebrate them and that your love isn't something you want to hide.
- Make His Favorite Meal
You've probably heard the old saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." This isn't necessarily true, although there have been studies to prove the statement's reliability. Either way, many people will appreciate your efforts if you cook their favorite meal. It's a sweet, simple way to show you care. You can even turn it into a date night if you want! Give yourself a chance to bond with each other to strengthen the partnership.
Do Not Fake It
While these above tips can help your partner feel appreciated, they're only going to work if you mean them. Don't try to flatter them with insincere compliments. They will see right through it, and it will not have the result you're looking for.
If you aren't used to looking for things that you appreciate about your partner, then this may feel difficult at first. However, you can find things that you appreciate and let them know with a little work. When you fell in love with each other, what did you see in this person? What traits of theirs do you admire? Are they outgoing? Fair? Intelligent? A person with good morals and ethics?
If you are searching for compliments for men or women, you also want to ensure that you're not only complimenting one thing repeatedly or excessively, such as their looks. While many people do like to be complimented for their looks, make sure you let your significant other know the things that you appreciate about their personality and character as well. Are they giving? Kind? Do they have a great sense of humor? Let them know.
What If He Doesn't Do Things You Appreciate?
You may find yourself reading this and thinking, "I am at a loss. I can't seem to find anything to appreciate." Not all people indeed deserve your appreciation, and if you don't feel appreciated for your partner - which isn't always about their actions, it's also often about their character, their mannerisms, and the way they make the world a better place - it might be time to take an honest, non-judgmental look at why. It could be that you also feel unappreciated too. Worse, it could be that you're not being treated well. Your partner should lift you, not pull you down.
Note that, if abuse of any kind is present, this article is not for you. No amount of praise or affection will negate abuse. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website to chat with someone or learn more about abuse.
There are many different reasons you might struggle to find things to appreciate, and it's not always about immediate or current treatment. Maybe they forgot to pick the kids up after school or cheating, which hasn't been resolved within the partnership. They could be irresponsible, or they might not be putting as much into the relationship or household as you are. Perhaps, you're questioning if this relationship is right for you anymore, regardless of what else is going on.
This is why being honest with yourself matters. It's the only way to get to the root of why you feel the way you do. Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor if there are concerns in your relationship that you'd like to move through. Therapy can help couples increase things like affection and appreciation in their partnership and can aid you in working through other concerns you might have, too.
Don't Wait For Him To Act First.
If you struggle to feel appreciated by your partner, then you might find yourself thinking, "Sure, this sounds good, but I'm not going to show them appreciation until they do it for me, too." This is where feelings lead us. Many people struggle with the idea that they will be putting more effort into the relationship than their partner. Still, if you can bring yourself to start showing your partner that you appreciate them, it could be just the motivation that they need to do the same for you. And, the best part is that you won't need to nag them to get them to do it. You can even express that this is a change you want in the relationship; you want to show more affection. That way, it's not one-sided, and it'll be clear that this is something you'll both benefit from.
Often, the more loved we feel, the more love we naturally want to show our partner. Now, that shouldn't be your motivation or reason to start appreciating your partner, but it's a nice benefit that might come along with it.
How A Therapist Can Help
A lack of displayed appreciation in relationships can have several different causes. Whether you're working on increasing affection and appreciation in your relationship or something else, a counselor or therapist can help you get to the root of what's going on and start expressing yourselves to one another more effectively. Sign up for an online therapy website like ReGain with licensed providers or find someone to work with near you to start the process today.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you show your man you appreciate him?
As stated in the article above, it’s important to tell someone that you appreciate them. No matter what else you do, make sure that you say it; displays of appreciation often look like kind gestures, so if you’re trying to communicate appreciation specifically, say it verbatim. Whether you write it on a card, on a note, or say it out loud, communication is essential for confirming the appreciation you feel in a relationship. We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, so when it comes to making your man feel appreciated and loved, the modality will undoubtedly vary from relationship to relationship and person to person. That said, you can never go wrong with verbalizing your feelings of appreciation.
How do you appreciate a man with words?
Of course, saying “I love you” and “I appreciate you” are two important parts of making your man feel loved. To show a man you appreciate him through words, you can say things like, “I’ve never met a guy likes you,” or “you’re special to me, and I appreciate you. I hope you know that.” Even if you show appreciation through other gestures such as acts of service or gift-giving, it’s also important to verbalize it. Additionally, it’s beneficial to outline the specific traits or actions that you appreciate. The more specific you are, the more personalized it’ll be, and the more special he’ll feel. For example, if you value the kindness your man has for others, you can say to him, “I love the kindness you give to those around you. It’s beautiful to me, and I want you to know that I appreciate it. I’m lucky to have you.” When you show appreciation through words and bring up specific traits or situations, it shows that you’re paying attention to your man and that his positive attributes don’t go unnoticed.
How do you compliment your boyfriend?
Knowing what he takes pride in can help you give him the best compliments. For example, if he’s really into writing, art, or sports, you can tell him how talented he is about those things. Speak authentically, and when you like something he does, or you notice something you like about him, let him know rather than taking it for granted or staying quiet. It can be as simple as saying, “I love your communication skills,” or “you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.” If you know that he’s insecure about something, you can compliment him on that and give him a boost. Alternatively, if there’s something that he’s interested in or confident in, you can reinforce that. For example, you can say, “you’re an excellent baseball player, and I love seeing you shine when you play.” When it comes to making your man feel loved, compliments can be extremely helpful. It’s important to avoid teasing unless you know that he likes it and has told you so. It’s easy for people to want to seem strong or like they can take a joke from their partner, but some things can sting more than you realize, so take the route of kindness when you’re not sure.
How do you show a man respect and appreciation?
To make a man feel loved, appreciated, and respected, acknowledge what you like about him. Make it known that his good qualities and actions don’t go overlooked. It can be as simple as saying, “I’m glad you taught me about ___,” or “I am so grateful to have you in my life.” Don’t just focus on one thing. When in the pursuit of making your man feel loved, see him as a whole person. He’s not just the way he looks or his profession. He is the person that you want to spend your life with, so tell him why. Let him know that you are proud to be with such a good man. When it comes to making your man feel loved, showing that you are proud to be his partner is a big deal that will give him a confidence boost. Everyone likes knowing that their partner sees them as a good catch and is proud to be with them, so make sure to mention it.
How do I make my man feel special?
There are a variety of ways you can go about making your man feel special. One of the best ways to make your man feel special is to highlight specific things you like about him that are unique to him. So, instead of using generic compliments, point things out that are unique and special about him, and he will feel special. Another thing that you can do is to do something thoughtful for him. To make a man feel loved, do something that shows that you were thinking of him. For example, if you get him a gift, get him something that’s catered to his particular interests. Instead of buying him generic T-shirts, get him something related to a strong interest he has. If you want to get your man a gift, don’t feel like you need to spend a ton of money. Just get him something that shows that you put care into it.
How do you show appreciation?
There are several ways to show appreciation. Again, saying it is crucial. On top of verbalizing how you feel, you can use displays of affection to make him feel loved. They don’t have to be grandiose. Noticing the little things you love and appreciate about him is incredibly valuable. It shows genuine appreciation and makes someone feel loved in an authentic, personal way when you make it known that you appreciate the little things. Knowing your man’s love language will help you show appreciation in a way that he is receptive to. The five love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, gift-giving, and quality time. Most people relate to several love languages. If you don’t know your man’s love language, you can take a love language quiz to help you better understand each other. Communicating about ways that you show love and ways that you best receive love is important because it will help you recognize when your partner is trying to show you that they appreciate you and make you feel loved, and vice versa.
As stated in the article above, sometimes, issues arise when you and your partner have concerns about your relationship. For example, if you feel like he isn’t paying attention to you or something more serious going on, such as cheating, making your man feel loved can be a challenge because there’s something bigger going on under the surface. Additionally, it’s not going to fix the problem underneath. Cheating, infidelity, or mistreatment are all things that need to be addressed. Affection alone will not cure these issues; they must be faced head-on. You don’t have to go through the process alone, however. You and your partner can attend couples counseling to help you build trust, faith, and all that you need to maintain a healthy relationship moving forward.
How do you show a man you care?
Once you know your man’s love language, you can cultivate the way you show that you care. You can plan dates for the both of you, engage in acts of service like fixing something for him or cooking for him, by giving him a back massage if it’s a physical touch that he’s into, and of course, by saying to him, “I care about you.” It’s not that you have to change how you show love, but it can help know what makes your man feel loved. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want them to feel special. Asking him questions about what he likes and what’s important to him is another way to show that you care. In a relationship, it is beneficial to pay attention to each other’s interests. You don’t need to be into the same things, but you want to make sure that the fundamental parts of each other that make you who you are, are recognized, loved, and appreciated. If you and your partner have trouble showing that you care for one another or have relationship problems in general, a couples counselor can help. Don’t be afraid to go to a mental health provider, whether for intimacy issues, communication problems, mental health concerns, or something else. Some people wear their heart on their sleeves, whereas other people take some time to open up and show how much they love someone, so if you’re shy to open up, know that you don’t have to do anything grandiose; just let him know that you care and show him through small, thoughtful actions.
How do you show respect in a relationship?
To a man in the 21st century, respect and submission aren’t the same things. If he makes views submission as respect, it’s a true red flag. It’s vital that you both feel loved and respected, and mutual respect is one way you can tell that you’ve got a good man. It is a sign of a healthy relationship. To show respect, you must listen to each other when you talk. Attempt to see eye to eye and let each other finish their sentences when expressing emotions or thoughts. Actively show that what he’s saying is being received. Appreciation is largely about making it known that someone is important to you and that their thoughts and actions mean something to you. Remember to say “thank you” when he does something for you and not take the traits that made you fall in love for granted. If you’re having difficulty with respect in a relationship, be sure to reach out to a mental health provider for couples counseling. Respect is a fundamental component of a healthy relationship, and both of you deserve to feel appreciated and respected.