Appreciating Your Man: 5 Ways To Show Him You Appreciate Him

Updated January 30, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

Don't you hate when you feel like no one appreciates you and the work you're doing? It's a relatively consistent annoyance among people. Appreciation doesn't just matter in spaces like the workplace. It's also vital in romantic relationships.

It's easy when we've been in a relationship for a while to start taking our partner and everything they do for granted, but this can be dangerous for your relationship. Like you, your partner wants to feel recognized for who they are and what they do. So, what are some ways to express your appreciation?

Why Does Appreciation Matter So Much?

Showing Appreciation Can Create Stronger Relationships

Showing appreciation does a lot more than making your partner feel good about themselves for the moment. It supports the partnership long-term by:

  • Helping you keep the love alive. Verbal displays of appreciation are, after all, a show of affection.
  • It is opening up a line of conversation. Communication in a relationship isn't just about talking when something goes wrong; it's also vital to talk about it when things go right. This can strengthen the partnership and make both of you feel good about the relationship and yourselves.
  • It can improve your mindset. Being grateful, as a general statement, can support your mental health. In relationships, it can help you see your connection in a more positive light.

In relationships, it's common that we fall into routines and unintentionally stop showing affection as much. When you speak on why you appreciate your partner, you shift your focus to all the things you like about them. They may have been there the entire time, but you may have forgotten about them because as a relationship matures, you start to see the imperfections that you missed early on in the relationship.

Appreciating Your Man: How To Do It

  1. Say It

Your partner is not a mind reader. You might think about how feeling grateful you are for them, how great they are, and how much they do for you, but if you don't tell them, they have no way of knowing. That means you may be thinking about how great this person is while they're feeling unappreciated because you aren't communicating it to them. You don't want that!

Communicating is one of the most important things in a relationship. Though it may sound cliche, a lot of the time, concerns such as feeling unappreciated can be solved with communication. If you spend the time learning how to communicate effectively with your partner, it will help you avoid some potential problems.

  1. Mention The Little Things

Sometimes, the little things are what enhance our days the most.

Spend some time thinking about all the little things that your significant other does for you. Do they get the coffee going in the morning? Put gas in your car if they drive it? Purposefully choose a restaurant that they know you like when you two go out? Kiss you before going to bed?

As you go through your day, pay attention to the subtle things your partner does. Ensure that you do this, intending to acknowledge the positives instead of spot all the things they do that you can't stand. Then, as you start to spot them, tell your partner you appreciate the little things about them then maybe make a list of these things to use in the future.

  1. Surprise Him With A Note

Saying the words aloud is great, but it's also nice to tell your partner you appreciate them by writing notes. You can do this as one long letter or write little notes with one little thing you appreciate about them.

Writing it down can be a nice touch because he can keep the notes to look back on in the future. They also allow you to leave them in fun places for your partner to find. It could be on the steering wheel of their car, the box of their favorite protein bars, or the bathroom mirror.

Then, not only will they see it and know that you appreciate who they are and what they're doing, but others will, too.

Building your partner up in front of others can do wonders for their self-esteem as well. If your partner struggles with jealousy or has been hidden in past relationships, this can be a great way to reassure them that you want to celebrate them and that your love isn't something you want to hide.

  1. Make His Favorite Meal

You've probably heard the old saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." This isn't necessarily true, although there have been studies to prove the statement's reliability. Either way, many people will appreciate your efforts if you cook their favorite meal. It's a sweet, simple way to show you care. You can even turn it into a date night if you want! Give yourself a chance to bond with each other to strengthen the partnership.

Do Not Fake It

While these above tips can help your partner feel appreciated, they're only going to work if you mean them. Don't try to flatter them with insincere compliments. They will see right through it, and it will not have the result you're looking for.

If you aren't used to looking for things that you appreciate about your partner, then this may feel difficult at first. However, you can find things that you appreciate and let them know with a little work. When you fell in love with each other, what did you see in this person? What traits of theirs do you admire? Are they outgoing? Fair? Intelligent? A person with good morals and ethics?

If you are searching for compliments for men or women, you also want to ensure that you're not only complimenting one thing repeatedly or excessively, such as their looks. While many people do like to be complimented for their looks, make sure you let your significant other know the things that you appreciate about their personality and character as well. Are they giving? Kind? Do they have a great sense of humor? Let them know.

What If He Doesn't Do Things You Appreciate?

You may find yourself reading this and thinking, "I am at a loss. I can't seem to find anything to appreciate." Not all people indeed deserve your appreciation, and if you don't feel appreciated for your partner - which isn't always about their actions, it's also often about their character, their mannerisms, and the way they make the world a better place - it might be time to take an honest, non-judgmental look at why. It could be that you also feel unappreciated too. Worse, it could be that you're not being treated well. Your partner should lift you, not pull you down.

Note that, if abuse of any kind is present, this article is not for you. No amount of praise or affection will negate abuse. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website to chat with someone or learn more about abuse.

There are many different reasons you might struggle to find things to appreciate, and it's not always about immediate or current treatment. Maybe they forgot to pick the kids up after school or cheating, which hasn't been resolved within the partnership. They could be irresponsible, or they might not be putting as much into the relationship or household as you are. Perhaps, you're questioning if this relationship is right for you anymore, regardless of what else is going on.

This is why being honest with yourself matters. It's the only way to get to the root of why you feel the way you do. Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor if there are concerns in your relationship that you'd like to move through. Therapy can help couples increase things like affection and appreciation in their partnership and can aid you in working through other concerns you might have, too.

Don't Wait For Him To Act First.

Showing Appreciation Can Create Stronger Relationships

If you struggle to feel appreciated by your partner, then you might find yourself thinking, "Sure, this sounds good, but I'm not going to show them appreciation until they do it for me, too." This is where feelings lead us. Many people struggle with the idea that they will be putting more effort into the relationship than their partner. Still, if you can bring yourself to start showing your partner that you appreciate them, it could be just the motivation that they need to do the same for you. And, the best part is that you won't need to nag them to get them to do it. You can even express that this is a change you want in the relationship; you want to show more affection. That way, it's not one-sided, and it'll be clear that this is something you'll both benefit from.

Often, the more loved we feel, the more love we naturally want to show our partner. Now, that shouldn't be your motivation or reason to start appreciating your partner, but it's a nice benefit that might come along with it.

How A Therapist Can Help

A lack of displayed appreciation in relationships can have several different causes. Whether you're working on increasing affection and appreciation in your relationship or something else, a counselor or therapist can help you get to the root of what's going on and start expressing yourselves to one another more effectively. Sign up for an online therapy website like ReGain with licensed providers or find someone to work with near you to start the process today.

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