Seven Tips For Overcoming Irrational Fears

Just about everyone’s afraid of something. And a lot of people can have common fears, such as the fear of dying, public speaking, or snakes and spiders. But there can be a big difference between being afraid of some things and having nonrational fears impacting your life. According to the NIMH, “Around 12 percent of people will experience a phobia at some point in their lives.” And, if you don’t know how to manage that phobia or fear properly, it can seem to keep you trapped. This is why it can be so important to learn how to address and overcome non-rational fears. Below are some tips to help you get started.

What are “irrational fears”?

A phobia is often what we think of when we’re talking about fears that are “irrational.” Phobias can create a seemingly overwhelming sense of fear of certain objects or situations, even those that don’t actually pose a threat to your safety.

When it comes to mental health disorders, there are several different diagnoses that can relate to phobias. They include things like specific phobias, social phobias, and agoraphobia.

Specific phobias are typically triggered by one specific thing. This could be a fear of heights, a fear of public speaking, or a fear of flying. These are just examples, and there is an endless number of things that someone can have a specific phobia about.

Social phobia is also known as social anxiety. This is when people experience a fear of being judged by others in social situations. This irrational anxiety and fear can keep people from participating in things they might enjoy because they are afraid of interacting with others.

Agoraphobia is when people are afraid of being in a place where it’s difficult to escape. This could be a large open area or a very small and confined place. Around 18 million adults in the United States experience agoraphobia.

How are irrational fears different than regular fears

A fear may move from regular to irrational when it impacts your ability to function in your daily life. This could mean that you purposely do or avoid things related to your fear of triggers.

So, if your fear of a spider doesn’t get in the way of your normal life and it’s not something that you organize your life around, it’s likely not a nonrational fear. However, if you avoid going to holiday parties with your family because you have a fear of judgment from the people that will be at the event, you may have an irrational fear that should be confronted.

The importance of overcoming irrational fears

If you’re living with fear or a phobia, it can be easy to think that you don’t need to work on confronting it so long as you can avoid it. Almost no one likes to be in uncomfortable situations, and confronting fears may indeed make you feel uncomfortable. However, you may find that it’s vital to learn how to overcome these nonrational fears so you can live a healthy and balanced life.

If you’re in the habit of arranging your life around your fears, there may be things that you’re missing out on that you could be enjoying. And, if you’re in relationships with other people, your nonrational fears can drive you apart or limit what you can explore together. Overall, phobias or intense fears can be draining and harmful to you and various parts of your life; they don’t serve to benefit you, either, since they are by nature fears of things that likely don’t pose any threat to you.

Tips for overcoming nonrational fears

So, now that you know what nonrational fears are and why you may want to work on overcoming them, here are some tips to help you out.

Give exposure therapy a try

Exposure therapy is exactly like it sounds. It works by exposing you little by little to the thing that you are afraid of. The important thing to know about exposure therapy, though, is it’s not the same as just confronting your nonrational fear head-on.

So, for example, if you’re irrationally afraid of heights, you wouldn’t just go skydiving. Instead, you might work on exposing yourself to the smallest height until you grow to be more comfortable with it. Then you move onto the next step by moving up the rungs of the ladder. Slowly over time, you can start to become more comfortable with each step, which allows you to take another one.

Exposure therapy involves exposing yourself little by little, one step at a time. This is something that you can try doing on your own, or you can enlist the help of a licensed and trained therapist.

Identify and acknowledge your fear

There’s a chance that you haven’t fully confronted and identified your nonrational fear. It’s probably something that you try not to think about and work on avoiding. But, if you want to overcome that fear, it can be key to identify what your fear is and where it’s coming from.

This may involve thinking through why you have that fear. It might be that you had a bad experience with something similar in the past or that one of your parents also had a nonrational fear and passed it down to you. Sometimes, identifying what is causing the fear can help you know the best way to overcome it.

Go easy on yourself

Being judgmental of yourself about your fear is likely not going to help you overcome it. If you have been mentally beating yourself up about your fear, it may be time to accept it and let it go.

Try to go easy on yourself and give yourself a break. Accept that you have the fear and accept that there are things you can do to overcome it. It’s not necessarily something that you have to live with long-term.

Don’t allow your feelings to control you

You might find that it’s imperative to learn how to control your feelings if you’re going to learn how to overcome your fear. Just because you feel afraid of something does not mean that there is something actually to be afraid of. Your feelings can, in this case, lie to you. Freeing yourself from being controlled by your feelings can help you realize that you don’t need to be afraid; you may just need to retrain your brain to trust itself rather than your gut reaction.

This doesn’t mean that you try to ignore the way that you’re feeling. But it can also be important to think clearly about the situation and see if your feelings are being truthful or not.

Learn to control your thoughts

Not only do you likely need to learn how to control your feelings, but you may also need to learn how to control your thoughts. Your feelings and thoughts can be closely linked. If you allow yourself to think that something is dangerous and that there is a reason to be afraid of it, your feelings will likely follow that.

If you experience the same fearful thoughts repeatedly, it can be helpful to pre-choose some things that you will think about instead. Then, anytime you find yourself having those old thoughts again, you can instantly replace them with something else.

It can also be helpful to write these pre-chosen thoughts down on a piece of paper and keep them close. If you find that you are starting to get stuck in fear and worry, you can pull that sheet of paper out and start reading through the things that are good thoughts for you instead.

Celebrate your success

It’s not always easy to overcome irrational thoughts and fears. So, while you’re working on doing that, it can be beneficial to learn how to celebrate the success that you’re having along the way.

For example, it might not be a big deal to other people to climb up two rungs of a ladder, but if you have a nonrational fear of heights, this could be major for you. So, treat it that way. Reward yourself and celebrate the progress that you’re making at overcoming your nonrational fears.

Find a support group

It can help when you have supportive people along your journey to overcoming your fears. This could mean something as simple as having family and friends that understand how big your fear to celebrate with you as you make progress.

Or this could mean being part of a group, even an online group, of people who are also working to overcome the same fears. This can be helpful because those who are living with the same experiences may be able to better understand what you’re going through. It can also help you know that you’re not alone, which can be an incredibly comforting feeling.

When you should talk to a therapist

If your nonrational fears are getting in the way of your regular life, it may be best to address them head-on. If you cannot progress on overcoming them on your own, therapy can help. As mentioned above, exposure therapy can be an effective way to overcome nonrational fears. However, other therapy options can help you as well. 

The best way to find out what treatment options will work well for you may be to contact a therapist and let them know what your goals are. You can pursue options like online therapy to make it simple to access professional support from the comfort of your own home.

Studies suggest that online therapy can be an effective treatment option for many mental health disorders, including specific phobias. One review of studies focused on online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) found that online treatment could successfully improve symptoms in those living with phobias, which means that you too may be able to find some benefit in working with a professional through the web.

Takeaway

Living with a phobia or intense fear can be challenging, but it’s also something that you can feel empowered to take control of. Working with the right professional and slowly exposing yourself to the source of your fear can help lessen some of the weight it might hold. Practice may be your best weapon against a phobia, so remember to be patient with and kind to yourself as you navigate this process.