Seven Tips And Tricks For Approaching Women In The Right Way

Updated March 20, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

For many men, if not most men, women are mysterious creatures. How women work and what they think can be mystifying to the opposite sex, and figuring out the right way to approach women is usually baffling. Luckily, there are some tricks that men can use to make sure that they’re approaching women in the right way.

Here are some of the most popular tried-and-true tips and tricks for going up to women:

1. Look at her body language

This is the cardinal rule of going up to women. If a woman is interested or open to meeting a man, she will show her interest in her body language. Some “cues” are more dramatic than others but watching body language is a good technique to ensure that you’re going up to women who are actually interested.

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  • Women who look relaxed and open are good prospects. Don’t approach a woman if she looks tense, focused, or otherwise upset. This is a recipe for disaster. Relaxed women will be more open to advances from interested suitors.
  • Wait for her signal. If a woman is interested in a particular man, she may smile at him or look at him from across the room regularly. This is called a “cue,” and a man who takes a woman’s cue is more likely to have success courting her.
  • If a woman appears to be engaged in an activity, don’t interrupt her. Usually, interrupting a woman will not make a good first impression. Of course, there are exceptions. For example, if a woman reading a book has given you clear signs that she’s interested, sometimes interrupting may be appropriate. But generally, avoid interrupting.

2. Use your body language

Women are highly sensitive to the body language of the people around them, especially their suitors. As a man, be aware of your body language when you are going up to women. Take an open stance with nothing crossing your body, make eye contact when talking, and keep your hands visible (don’t shove them in your pockets). Relaxed, open body language goes a long way in winning a woman’s affection. Don’t be afraid to smile!

When assessing your posture and body language, the most important thing to maintain is an open position. Studies have shown that potential partners are more attractive to the opposite sex when they have an open posture with uncrossed arms and a tall posture. Standing tall and confident is vital, as is using hand gestures when you communicate. These things will show your interest and make you more attractive to women, thus easing the occasional discomfort of going up to women.

3. “Interested is interesting” – Make a case that you’re a good conversation partner

Many women will find it very attractive when a man can carry on a conversation. Even better if you have interesting things to say and if you’re a good listener with interesting questions. A good rule of thumb is not talking about anything you wouldn’t discuss with your grandma (i.e., avoiding politics, religion, etc.), at least not during your first interaction with a woman. Obviously, some rules are meant to be broken, but this is a good place to start.

In those first few moments of interaction, women try to determine if their suitor is trustworthy, and they’re also deciding if it’s worth their time to pursue a deeper conversation. Women also aim to identify what it is the man wants so that they can determine the answers to the above two questions. When you’re starting up a conversation, see if you can answer these questions indirectly with subtle suggestions in your speech and posture.

4. Sense of humor

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When going up to women, a sense of humor is a huge advantage. If you’re nervous and you mess up your words, don’t fret. If you can make light of your blunders early on and make her smile or laugh, you’re a step ahead of the other men. Being playful and light is a major plus. Avoid the cheesy pickup lines but use your humor to your advantage if possible. Humor isn’t always making jokes; sometimes, it’s the ability not to take yourself or the situation too seriously. Relax and let things flow.

In fact, studies have shown that a man who can make a woman laugh has a better chance! A study by French researcher Nicolas Guéguen demonstrated that women find it fun to be overall more intelligent and sociable besides more generally attractive. Men who weren’t as humorous received lower scores than men who made the women in the study laugh or smile.

5. Overcome your fear of rejection

The number one reason why most men struggle with going up to a woman is fear of rejection. While this might seem like a simple thing to remedy, many men have trouble overcoming this. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of! It takes bravery to approach a beautiful woman. But keep in mind that having the courage to approach a woman is an important part of making the “right” first move, and a lot of women rate this action very high when it comes to their potential suitors. So, you already have the advantage if you’re a man who is confident enough to take a woman’s cues and make the first move to talk to her.

One of the most important techniques for overcoming the fear of rejection is not to overthink and “go for it.” Waiting too long to approach a woman can mean a missed opportunity, so if you notice that a woman you’re interested in is giving you cues to approach, walk over and start up a conversation right away! The less time you have to think, the less time you’ll have to develop all the possible ways a conversation could go wrong. Follow the last point and have a sense of humor; if you mess up your initial approach, brush off your blunder with a quip and restart fresh. The woman you’re talking to might even find your blunder charming.

6. Break the ice

If you’re going to approach a woman, you must be the one to start the conversation. But how do you confidently start a conversation with a person you don’t know, a beautiful woman whose interest you’d like to obtain? These are two of the tried-and-true ice breakers that can get things rolling.

  • “Hi, my name’s ________. What’s yours?” – This is the simplest way to initiate contact, and it starts things out on the right foot. Hold your hand out to shake her hand, and then you’ve made physical contact too. After this, you’ll probably start to feel less nervous, and you can go ahead with initiating an actual conversation.
  • Compliment her. A compliment can go a long way toward impressing a girl, and it can even be a way to start a small back-and-forth conversation. Be genuine and be specific. Women regularly hear compliments about their smiles or eyes, so consider something more original, like a compliment about a unique clothing article or how she fixed her hair. Noticing the little things will make you seem like a better prospect than other men, making her feel appreciated.

7. Get contact information

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At the end of the encounter, make sure you get her contact information so that you can reach her later. The classic “What’s your number?” is good to start with. Other contact information is excellent, like email or social media; if you’re traveling, these other contact mediums are your best bet. But, no matter what, get her name and contact details! If you’re still interested at the end of your conversation and it seems like she is, too, make sure to contact her right away to keep her interest.

When you send her the first text, keep it short and sweet, and send the message within 24 hours after meeting her. The sooner you send the message, the better. Make a move if you’re interested! Reminding her of your name and where the two of you met and saying that you enjoyed meeting her is a good start. If you’re feeling brave, ask her if she’d be available to go on a date or talk on the phone.

Takeaway

Going up to women is often a somewhat scary prospect since it requires some courage and strategy. But never fear! Women are human beings too, and as such, they’ll understand your human emotions as a man. Many women appreciate a man’s bravery in approaching and showing genuine interest; there aren’t very many men who approach women with an honest curiosity to learn and connect, so this is an advantage if you’re one of those men.

If you’re struggling with confidence in going up to women, talking with a licensed relationship expert or therapist is an excellent option. Asking for help is the first step to self-improvement and success.

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