Emotional Manipulation Signs To Watch Out For In A Relationship
Key takeaways
- Signs of emotional manipulation in a relationship include frequently criticizing you, using the silent treatment, gaslighting you, isolating you from others, and invalidating your concerns.
- Emotional manipulation can be a form of emotional abuse.
- Manipulation and other forms of emotional abuse can have a range of harmful effects on an individual’s mental health, including damaging self-esteem.
In a romantic relationship, some potential signs of emotional manipulation can include the presence of gaslighting, frequent criticism, lying and dishonesty, guilt-tripping, the silent treatment, and using your insecurities against you. Emotional manipulation refers to behaviors that aim to influence someone else’s feelings for one’s own benefit. More than just an uncomfortable dynamic, emotional manipulation can be a form of emotional abuse, and it can have a range of harmful effects on both the relationship and an individual’s mental health. If you have experienced emotional manipulation in your relationship, know that you are not alone, and help is available.
What is emotional manipulation?
Emotional manipulation involves influencing someone else’s feelings or behavior for your own advantage. Emotional manipulation can occur in many different types of relationships, including family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, and even workplace relationships. When someone is attempting to emotionally manipulate another person, they may draw on various tactics to sway or control that person’s emotions.
What are emotional manipulation signs in a romantic relationship?
In a romantic relationship, emotional manipulation can occur when one or both partners try to control or influence the other person for their own benefit using a variety of methods. Emotional manipulation is not just an unpleasant or uncomfortable dynamic—it can be a form of emotional abuse.
10 emotional manipulation signs in a romantic relationship
- Gaslighting
- Love bombing
- Frequently criticizing you
- Using the silent treatment
- Lying
- Using your insecurities against you
- Purposefully embarrassing or belittling you
- Guilt-tripping you
- Isolating you from others
- Invalidating your concerns
What is the impact of emotional manipulation on the relationship and mental health?
The presence of emotional manipulation in a relationship can take a heavy toll on the relationship itself as well as the mental health and well-being of both individuals. In some cases, the effects of emotional manipulation on an individual can persist even after the relationship has ended.
How emotional manipulation impacts the relationship
In general, emotional manipulation in a relationship breeds a wide range of unhealthy dynamics and erodes the foundations of trust, intimacy, and respect that are often essential for a strong and healthy relationship.
Some of the potential impacts of emotional manipulation on a romantic relationship include:
- Loss of trust
- Frequent conflicts
- Unequal power dynamics
- Unhealthy communication
How emotional manipulation impacts mental health
On an individual level, emotional manipulation and other forms of emotional abuse can also have a range of harmful effects, particularly on the person being targeted. These can include:
- Decreased self-esteem
- Feelings of shame and confusion
- Difficulty trusting others
- Risk of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder
Some of these effects may be long-lasting and can impact various aspects of an individual’s life, including their future relationships.
Where can you turn to for support with emotional manipulation?
If you have experienced emotional manipulation in your relationship, know that you are not alone, and help is available. Immediate and ongoing support options are available to help you navigate and cope with the effects of manipulation.
For ongoing support, you can connect with a qualified therapist for individual therapy or relationship therapy, depending on your needs and situation. If you are interested in building stronger relationship skills, learning more about healthy relationships, and cultivating healthy communication patterns, relationship therapy can be a helpful option. If, instead, you are seeking ongoing support to help you manage mental health concerns, individual therapy can be valuable.
For many people, discussing vulnerable topics such as relationship dynamics can be difficult and uncomfortable at times. If you would feel more comfortable discussing these topics in your own home, you can consider seeking online relationship therapy, which allows you to have virtual therapy sessions from anywhere with an internet connection. Plus, research has shown online couples therapy to be just as effective as in-person therapy for improving relationship satisfaction and mental health outcomes.
Takeaway
In a relationship, signs of emotional manipulation can include lying, gaslighting, frequent criticism, using the silent treatment, invalidating your concerns, and purposefully embarrassing you. Emotional manipulation can have harmful effects on both the relationship and individual mental health. For support, you can connect with a qualified therapist, either online or in person.
What is emotionally manipulative to do?
There are a number of things that are considered emotionally manipulative or signs of manipulation. Gaslighting, stonewalling, lying, changing the subject, or deflecting your concerns when you bring up an important issue, and emotional blackmail are all forms of emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator may also prey on your insecurities and turn their bad behavior around on you to feel that everything is your fault. The very nature of psychological and emotional manipulation is that emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others will manipulate you not to identify manipulation. To identify manipulation, it's important to know the signs and listen to your gut. As much as you don't want to believe that a particular person could be an emotional manipulator, recognize the signs of psychological and emotional manipulation for what they are. See an emotional manipulator's actions above all else. A very common tactic used by emotional manipulators or an emotionally manipulative person is love bombing when someone bombards you with excessive affection. Often, this is so that you think of the good times and think to yourself, "it's not all bad," causing you to stick around. Someone may also use love bombing to deflect from their poor behavior; if they shower you with affection, you'll think, "wow, they're really into me," instead of seeing the warning signs that might be there. Especially if this is a new relationship and someone engages in excessive, overwhelming, intense displays of affection too soon, this is a big red flag.
What are examples of emotional manipulation?
The APA defines manipulation as "behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one's advantage." Emotional manipulation is a specific form of manipulation that refers to manipulating others by targeting people's emotions. When someone manipulates people's emotions, they may be doing it for a number of reasons - to gain control, to get what they want, or to avoid responsibility for their actions - but it is never okay. Being able to identify manipulation can help you avoid it, or at the very least, recognize it so that you can reduce the harm done by emotional manipulation. If you are manipulated emotionally, you did not sign up to receive emotional manipulation, and it is not your fault. Emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others are often very good at what they do. At times, they may hide it under the guise of care or concern. An emotional manipulator might manipulate another person by making them believe that they aren't capable or cannot trust themselves. If you're searching for "manipulation signs," "how to recognize emotional manipulators," or "mental and emotional manipulation signs," you can read about the signs of psychological and emotional manipulation below.
What are emotional manipulation signs to watch out for?
Signs of manipulation to look out for include:
- Gaslighting (making you question your reality).
- Deflecting blame (making you feel as though "it's all your fault" or that "if you were different, the relationship would be better.")
- Stonewalling (giving you the silent treatment).
- Emotional blackmail (when someone uses fear, obligation, and guilt to get what they want).
- Withholding affection (this may go along with emotional blackmail).
- Love bombing (showering you with excessive affection and praise, often distracting from red flags or other abusive and manipulative behaviors).
If you see the signs of manipulation in your relationship or think that you may be encountering psychological or emotional manipulation, listen to your gut. Unfortunately, mental and emotional manipulation is not uncommon, and it is something that many people encounter. The psychological impact of emotional manipulation is genuine, and if you've faced it, you're not alone.
What are examples of manipulation?
After reading the signs of manipulation above, you may wonder what exactly they look like. Here are some examples of psychological and emotional manipulation:
- Emotional blackmail. You have to do this for me."
- Deflecting blame. Say that a partner yells at you and calls you names, and when you say, "I don't like it when you call me that name" or express concerns about the name-calling and raising of their voice, they say, "I wouldn't have to do that if you weren't dumb/if you weren't like this/if you listened to me/etc." Emotional manipulators do this so that they don't have to take responsibility. The emotional manipulator can instead turn the blame to you so that their behavior is never addressed.
- Let's say that you take care of all of the bills or household chores. Alternatively, let's say that you said "no" to a sexual act that makes you feel very uncomfortable. An example of stonewalling would be that your partner gives you the silent treatment, refuses to talk about the topic, or gets angry and walks away when you bring up the proposal that they help with the bills and chores or says "no" to said sexual act. They're doing this so that you stop bringing up your concerns or stop saying "no" so that you do not have to face the silent treatment or anger again and will instead do what they want or treat you the way they want without discourse or discussion.
Is gaslighting emotional abuse?
Gaslighting is indeed an emotional abuse tactic, and it is not something to ignore. The Hotline website defines and explains the origin of the term "gaslighting" by saying, "This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he denies that the light changed when his wife points it out. It is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim's ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship." Gaslighting is a common tactic among emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others, and it is a form of manipulation that essentially makes you question your own knowledge of reality. You are not to blame, and in any case, you didn't sign up to receive this treatment and emotional abuse. When it comes to manipulation is the fault of the person who engages in mental and emotional manipulation or abuse alone. If you've survived emotional abuse, have left a relationship with a manipulative person, or want to talk about signs of manipulation with a professional, don't be afraid to reach out for the support of a therapist or counselor.
What is the impact of emotional manipulation on your mental health?
How would you know that you are with someone who is emotionally manipulative?
What are the four phases of manipulation?
What are manipulators scared of?
Can you possibly outwit a manipulator? How?
What main signs of manipulation do you know?
What are the emotional manipulation signs to watch out for?
What are manipulators afraid of?
What words do manipulators use?
What are emotional manipulation tactics?
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