When To Give Up On A Girl: Overcoming Repetitive Rejection

Updated June 17, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Rejection can be one of the toughest things we face as people. This may be especially true when the rejections pile up or if we feel like we have a chance with someone, but they continue to push us away. Anyone can experience rejection and face damaging consequences to their confidence and self-esteem. If you’re having trouble knowing when to give up with your pursuit of a girl and are struggling with repetitive rejection, read on to learn how to approach the situation.

Repetitive rejection hurts, but moving forward is possible

When to give up on a girl

If you’ve ever pursued a girl that you like, you may have experienced rejection at least once. While rejection can hurt, it can also move you closer to the person you’re meant to be with. Knowing when to give up and stop pursuing a girl and when to keep trying can be tough to figure out. In general, here are some signs it might be time to give up and move on to someone new: 

  • They clearly express their disinterest in you

  • They’re always busy when you want to hang out

  • They don’t return your calls or texts

  • They ignore you in person, online, or over the phone

  • They avoid spending time with you

  • They’re talking to someone else

  • They’re already in a relationship 

Every situation is different, and it can be up to you to exercise your best judgment when deciding whether to keep trying with a girl or not. It can be important to remain respectful of the other person’s boundaries even if things don’t go the way you want them to. 

How to handle rejection

If you’ve been pursuing girls who are unavailable or uninterested, you may have experienced rejection over and over. The following are some tips for handling rejection when you are pursuing a girl in a healthy manner.  

Create boundaries

If you have already asked out or otherwise pursued a girl and experienced feeling rejected, you may want to create some space between the two of you if possible. Rather than continuing to obsess over this person, you owe it to them and to yourself to leave them be. While this may be difficult if you work with or go to school with them, distance can help you sort out what you really want. If you’re trying to get rid of your feelings for this person, taking some time and space for yourself can also help. Even unfollowing or unfriending them on social media or simply avoiding social media in general may be productive if it’s what it takes for you to move forward.

Creating space can also mean refraining from reaching out. If a girl rejected you recently, it is highly unlikely that their opinion of you has changed since then. Instead of continuing to message or try to speak with them, it may be healthier to take some time to focus on yourself. 

Respect yourself

Some people are very kind and have trouble turning others down, even when they’re not interested. This might mean that you get mixed signals instead of an honest response. The girl you’re interested in may continue to say they’re busy or even agree to meet but then stand you up. In this case, it can be important to know how to read between the lines and respect yourself.

Valuing your emotions and time can mean learning how to tell when a girl simply isn’t interested. This way, you can save everybody time and awkwardness and perhaps even hurt feelings. After all, holding onto someone that may never like you back can be painful. It can be difficult to know whether a girl likes you back, but remember that healthy relationships are reciprocal. If you’re putting in more effort than they are, they may not be the right match for you. Instead, you can move on to someone who pursues you like you go after them.

Recognize your emotions

You might be struggling to end your pursuit of a girl that you like. Although this can be normal, stopping your pursuit may be what’s healthiest for you and the other person. If you recognize that you’re hurting, try to take some self-care measures to feel better. The pursuit of an uninterested woman can be draining; consider using that energy toward your own well-being instead. In time, you may find that you can move on to someone else who is more interested. 

To work through your emotions, try engaging in a hobby or other activity such as art, journaling, music, or sports. You can also spend time with friends or family members and confide in them about how you’re feeling. These are all ways that you can spend your time in a healthier, more positive, and more productive way.

Be kind to yourself

During your pursuit of this girl, you likely spent a lot of time thinking about how to please them and may have neglected yourself in the process. Turning your attention back to your own needs can be important, particularly when dealing with rejection. Taking up a hobby and engaging in other self-care tactics can help. 

Rejection can take a toll on your mental health, but you can combat these negative effects through focused efforts to improve your own well-being. Building your confidence and self-esteem back up can be vital, especially when you decide to pursue someone else in the future. Feeling positively about yourself can prepare you to get back into the dating scene and allow you to attract the right person into your life.

Try getting back into dating

No matter how hard it may be to accept that the girl you’re into doesn’t feel the same, you may at least be able to take comfort in the fact that there are millions of other people out there for you. With social media and dating apps, it’s never been easier to meet new people and get to know them.

Once you’ve taken some time for yourself, it may be time to consider pursuing someone else. There are plenty of possible matches for you worldwide— it’s simply up to you to put yourself out there. While rejection can be inevitable, it may be worth it when you finally find your person. 

Repetitive rejection hurts, but moving forward is possible

Online counseling with Regain

Searching for the right partner for you can be a complex and difficult journey, but it can also be exciting discovering more about yourself and what you’re looking for. If you need help navigating the dating world or any other issues in your life, consider connecting with a licensed online therapist through Regain. A therapist can help you find the courage and confidence it takes to move on from rejection and find what’s meant for you. If you’re struggling throughout the day with unanswered texts, ghosting behavior, or other forms of rejection, you can easily reach out to your therapist through an in-app messaging feature to get support. No matter what you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Repetitive rejection can lead to low self-esteem, which is an issue that online therapy could address, according to this study. Participants of a web-based therapy program experienced a reduction in a variety of psychiatric symptoms as well as an increase in their levels of self-esteem. They also felt less alone by participating in the intervention and reported experiencing a greater quality of life. 


It can be natural to feel uncertain and wary of dating and relationships, especially if you’re new to these things. If you’ve been rejected frequently, it may also make you hesitant to pursue other girls in the future. Making sure you’re prepared and in a healthy mindset for dating can be important, and a licensed therapist can help you get there. Instead of going after girls who are unavailable or uninterested, you can learn how to attract people who genuinely want to get to know you. Regain can match you with an online counselor who can equip you with communication skills so that you can establish a relationship that is fulfilling, healthy, and reciprocal. 

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