When To Give Up On A Girl: Dealing With Repetitive Rejection

Updated October 20, 2022 by ReGain Editorial Team

Rejection can be one of the toughest things we face as people. This is especially true when the rejections pile up or if we feel like we have a chance with someone, but they continue to push us away.

While a stereotype exists that only some men are cursed to be constantly rejected by women, this is far from true. On the contrary, both men and women can experience rejection and face damaging consequences to their confidence. If you’re having trouble knowing when to give up with your pursuit of a woman and are struggling with repetitive rejection, read on so you can learn how to handle the situation as well as your own emotions properly.

Create Boundaries

Repetitive Rejection Hurts, But Moving Forward Is Possible.

If you have already asked out or otherwise pursued a woman and been rejected, you should create some space between you two if possible. While this may be difficult if it was a work or school colleague, it’s best if you can take steps to create some space.

Rather than continuing to obsess over this person, you owe it to them to leave them be. Taking this step should also help you have some time to get over your feelings. Even unfollowing/unfriending on social media or simply avoiding social media may be a good idea if it’s what it takes for you to get over your rejection.

Creating space also means refraining from contacting her. If a woman rejected you yesterday or even last week or two weeks ago, it is highly unlikely that her opinion has changed since then. Instead of continuing to message her or talk to her in person, it’s likely a better plan to give yourself some space and focus on yourself (and other people).

Respect Yourself

Some people are too nice and have trouble rejecting others. This might mean that you get something in between instead of an honest response. She might continue to say she’s busy or even agree to meet but then stand you up. In this case, you need to learn to read between the lines and respect yourself.

If you value your emotions and time, you must learn to see when a woman isn’t interested. This way, you can save everybody time and awkwardness and—for you—anguish. It’s not difficult typically to know whether someone is into you or not, and if you’re unsure, you can find articles such as this one online.

Respect your time and mental health so that you don’t try excessively for someone who doesn’t care to return the favor. Doing so will leave you much happier as you’ll be free to pursue someone who tells you straight up whether or not they’re into you or not.

Recognize Your Emotions

You might be struggling to end your pursuit of a woman you like. That’s okay. You’re not alone. Nonetheless, stopping your pursuit is in everyone’s best interest.

Recognize that you’re hurting and take some self-care measures to feel better. Consider the previous two steps as that should help as well. Taking these measures is much better than continuing the vain pursuit of an ultimately uninterested woman. You will feel better emotionally once you validate your emotions and work to move past them.

Engage Your Emotions

To elaborate on working through your emotions, consider pursuing a healthy channeling of your feelings. Art, journaling, music, discussion forums, nature, friends, family… these are all ways that you can spend your time in a healthier, more positive, and more productive way.

You are much more likely to find closure when it comes to the failed pursuit of a woman once you recognize your emotions and work through them. If you are having trouble doing so, don’t despair. Reach out to a trusted friend or relative who you can confide in. And if you still find yourself needing relief, consider confronting your emotions with the help of a mental health expert through ReGain

Stop Thinking About Her

No matter how much you like this woman, you will have to come to terms with the fact that it won’t work out in the way you hoped. While this is much easier said than done, you will feel so much better once you’ve accepted the situation. This will improve your mental health and enable you to spend more time on yourself and pursue other potential partners.

As stated before, channeling your emotions and energy into something else is the best way to stop obsessing over this person. Exercise is a great way to distract yourself and be a natural mood booster. The same goes for things like playing or listening to music, enjoying or creating art, going for a walk, etc.

As part of this mission to no longer think about her obsessively, you may find that certain triggers remind you of her. This could be a song she likes, the food she prefers, whatever. It is best to avoid these triggers so that you can keep her off your mind as much as possible.

Be Kind To Yourself

During your pursuit of this woman, you likely spent a lot of time thinking about how to please her and very little time about yourself. You must turn your attention back on yourself and take the above measures to re-center yourself and ensure that your mental health is the top priority. Taking up a hobby and engaging in other self-care tactics is important in handling rejection.

Besides helping you take your thoughts off her, these activities will also build your confidence and self-esteem, with the added benefit of enhancing your emotional and mental well-being. By being more focused on yourself, you will be more likely to attain your goals in life and prepare yourself to get back into the dating scene.

Try Getting Back To Dating

Repetitive Rejection Hurts, But Moving Forward Is Possible.

No matter how hard it may be to accept that the woman you’re into doesn’t feel the same, you can at least take comfort in the fact that there are millions of other people out there for you. And, with social media and dating apps, it’s never been easier to find people and get to know them.

Once you’ve taken some time for yourself (see the previous steps), it’s a good idea to consider other possible dating options out there. There are plenty of great matches for you worldwide—it’s simply up to you to put yourself out there. Besides, the more you do this thing, the better you will get over rejection.


Don't panic or give up if you feel uncertain and wary of dating and relationships initially or handle rejection poorly. While meeting other girls may seem like a good way to get over one girl, you should only consider dating if you feel ready for it. You want to ensure that no unresolved emotional issues may be triggered when attracted to a new girl. However, there’s no reason you can’t be one of the many success stories of people who found their soulmate after they stopped pursuing a woman that wasn’t right for them.

If you need to work through your issues with a professional, the licensed psychologists at ReGain can help you find the courage and confidence it takes to move on from rejection and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

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