Should I Date Him? Seven Ways To Determine If Someone Is A Worthwhile Partner

Updated April 5, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Finding a new man to date is something that might take you some time. You want to make sure that you find someone compatible with you so that you can have a good relationship. If you have recently met someone and you're considering going out with him, then you might be trying to figure out if he's right for you. Are you asking yourself questions such as, "should I date him? There are several ways that you can determine if someone is a worthwhile partner, so read on, and you might have an easier time concluding.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
How can you tell if someone's a good fit for you?

How he treats you

Of course, how this guy treats you is going to speak volumes. Does he treat you like a valuable person, or is he just trying to get in your pants? If he does want to get in your pants, then don't even waste your time wondering, "Does he want to date me?" He's not worth it. Flirting can be fine, but if he is only interested in the way you look and other superficial things, it could be a bad sign. If he is taking the time to get to know you and acts like a gentleman when you're hanging out, then that is a very positive sign. People who have good manners are often disciplined in life, and he could be good partner if you decide to date.

How he treats your friends or family

It's also smart to take a look at how this guy treats your friends or your family (and his own). Assuming that he has been around other people in your life, they will be able to get an impression of him as well. Does he come across as a nice and respectful individual when interacting with other people? Or does he see your friends or family as obstacles in his way toward getting what he wants? You can learn a lot by looking at how a man interacts with others, so be sure to pay attention.

You can also look to see how he treats the people in his life. Is he a good son to his mother and father? Does he value his friendships? If he is good to the people in his life, then that's a sign that he has a good heart. His treating your people is important, but it's also crucial to consider how he treats the people that are central to his life.

His attitude

His attitude is going to play a big role in determining whether he will be a worthwhile partner. You want to date someone who is going to be compatible with you. If his personality seems to clash with yours, then you're likely better off looking elsewhere for your next love connection. Opposites can attract, but you likely won't enjoy dating someone that you will come into conflict with constantly.

If he seems like a positive guy who has a good attitude, then that makes him a more desirable partner. It shows that he is going to be more likely to maintain a positive outlook on life. People with better attitudes generally find more success professionally as well. It's hard to keep a job if you have a temper or if you get fed up easily. You likely aren't dating someone purely because of their earning potential, but it's nice to know that someone has the tools to take care of himself.

What makes him interested in you

You should also look at what makes him interested in you. Is he only drawn to you because he thinks that you're pretty? If so, then he might be a fairly shallow individual. Beauty fades, and you need a relationship to be about more than something as superficial as your physical appearance. Does he have a lot in common with you or does he appreciate aspects of your personality? Perhaps he is good at making you laugh, and you seem to have chemistry. These are good reasons to want to date someone in addition to finding them attractive.

His personal interests

His personal interests are another thing that you can use to gauge whether he will be a worthwhile partner. Keep in mind that it isn't necessary to have interests in common when you're looking for a love connection. It's probably good to ensure that you don't have conflicting interests that are going to lead to problems down the road, though.

As an example, think about how problematic it would be if you were a vegan and you started dating someone who is an avid hunter. These things are opposed, and you could wind up fighting all the time over these issues. Even if you like this guy otherwise, it just might not be meant to be due to your outlook on life. The same can be said of other differences, such as religious differences. Two people from different religions can fall in love, and it can be great, but not everyone is open to dating someone who is of a different faith.

You need to consider what matters to you in a match. What types of interests would you find to be indications that someone is a worthwhile partner? If you value intellect, then you might be happy to learn that a man is an avid reader. Those who value physical fitness might want to know that a man is interested in exercise and eating a balanced diet. More superficial interests such as music tastes might not need to factor in too much, but it can be nice to find little things in common too.

Whether he's an honest man or not

If you know that the guy that you're thinking about dating isn't an honest person, then you should avoid getting involved with him. Honesty is crucial when it comes to building a successful relationship. You want to be able to trust the things that your boyfriend tells you. If you know that he often makes things up or that he is an egregious liar, then how could you ever trust him to be faithful or truthful?

Finding someone honest and willing to own up to his mistakes will be good. You don't need to try to find a perfect man who has no flaws. Truthfully, there is no such thing as a perfect person. Everyone makes mistakes, but having the strength of character to be able to own your actions and take accountability says a lot about an individual. If you're looking for a good quality that tells you someone is a worthwhile partner, then honesty is the most important one to pay attention to.

His life goals

How can you tell if someone's a good fit for you?

Does the man that you're thinking of dating have life goals? If you have been getting to know him for a bit, then you likely know enough about him to be able to tell if he has ambition. Dating someone who has a plan in life is going to be better than dating someone with no ambition. Plans might not always work out perfectly, but it's good for people to have the courage to strive toward something. Perhaps this man is working toward a college degree, or maybe he wants to get promoted in his company over time.

Whatever the case is, you can tell that someone is looking toward the future by examining their life goals. Some men might even be thinking far enough ahead to know that they want to get married or have children. If this is what you want, then it makes sense to date someone who has a similar outlook on the future.

This isn't to say that you have to strictly date people who have their lives planned out in vivid detail. Not everyone knows what they want when they're young, and it can take time to discover yourself on your journey. A man might not tick all of the boxes that have been presented on this list. You need to use your instincts to determine whether he is a good guy or if he is someone that you should ignore. These are mere suggestions and things that you can look out for to help you know that someone is a good person who is boyfriend material.

 Online counseling might help you out

If you have questions about what you are searching for in a relationship or if someone could really be right for now, it might help to talk things through with a counselor who specializes in relationships. It is very common to have relationship questions and struggles, and asking for guidance can be very healthy.

Search the network of mental health providers at Regain and find the right fit for you, or look for professionals in your local area who work with people remotely.

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