Dating is often considered a young person's game. Though finding love later in life happens every day, negative stereotypes and unfavorable statistics have a way of convincing us that it won't happen for us. They tell us that getting married after 30 is unlikely and that finding a life partner once you're 40 is even more improbable. Starting a relationship in the golden years? Unheard of.
These pessimistic cultural outlooks surrounding dating when you're older have become a lot harder than they should be. Our ticking clocks, nagging family members, and current commitments can push us in one of two directions. We either treat dating like a job interview, constantly critiquing or pressuring our dates (and ourselves) or avoiding dating altogether. So, what does this mean for those over 50 but still young at heart? First, you should forget the naysayers and embrace the fact that the dating world has no age limit. Then equip yourself with tips that will help you meet someone new and embrace every romantic connection you encounter from here on out.
Dating As A Senior Tip #1: It's Not About Numbers But Knowing Yourself
Now that we've established that the dating world isn't just for millennials, there's something you must know. Dating after fifty is different. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. For one, young people tend to be age-prejudiced, while those looking to date after fifty-five tend to be a lot more flexible with numbers. A forty-five-year-old courting a twenty-year-old would probably turn heads, but someone in their late fifties dating someone in their seventies is much more accepted.
Instead of focusing on the person's actual age, you're interested in narrowing your focus to similarities in physical health and the type of activities they enjoy. If you're very active and enjoy going on hikes and traveling, look for a potential partner interested in being outdoors and going on trips. If you're a homebody who prefers to stay in with a glass of wine and a good book, physical activity (or lack thereof) probably won't be on the top of your love list. The key is knowing a lot about yourself and finding a partner that is compatible with your lifestyle, needs, and wants. If you're not sure what to start, consider creating a soulmate wish list that will highlight attributes that are important to you.
Dating As A Senior Tip #2: Focus On The Physical
Another thing that shies some senior daters away from finding love is worrying about their appearance. Sure, looks matter to many people, but for those over 55, research shows that appearance takes a lower priority than common interests and activities. With this being said, everyone wants and deserves to feel their best while jumping back into the dating game. You can boost your dating confidence and desirability by taking on some of the following focuses:
Dating As A Senior Tip #3: Improve Your Outlook
Many daters find that once they have a good idea of what they are looking for and have spent some time improving their physical appearance, dating becomes easier. For others, there may be psychological hurdles that prevent them from embracing the dating scene and possibly finding love. For one, if you're over the age of 55, you've probably been married before and most certainly dated in the past. Past hurts, losses, and concerns over children's feelings about dating again are all challenges.
If you aren't sure if you're ready to date or have concerns about what the world has to offer as far as love goes, you aren't alone. In fact, this is one of the unique issues that arise with dating when you're older. Instead of ignoring or tackling these feelings alone, you might consider sharing your fears and doubts with a professional. One great option is Regain relationship counseling. They offer an easy online sign-up, and because their professional counseling services are offered remotely, you don't even have to leave your home for support. Many people shy away from getting professional help, but going at it alone isn't always the best option. Services like Regain can help you prepare for love and improve your outlook during this phase of your life.
Dating As A Senior Tip #4: Put Yourself Out There
One question many seniors have about dating is, "Where will I meet someone?" Surely, it won't happen from the comfort of your couch. That's unless you're web dating, and we'll cover that later on. If you have no problem meeting potential partners, feel free to skip to the next tip. If you're not sure where to meet quality partners, consider the following:
Also, think about places where the opposite sex might be and try those activities. For example, a lot more men play golf than women. If you're a single woman interested in golf, you're likely to meet single men by joining a golf club. Are you likely to find single men at your local knitting group meeting? Probably not.
Dating As A Senior Tip #5: Set Realistic Expectations
Another senior date tip has less to do with you and more to do with the world you're living in. The dating scene today is likely much different than the one you encountered in your youth or even 5, 10, or 15 years ago. Not every date will lead to marriage, and dating opportunities may not be traditional.
For one, most dating is happening online. If you're tech-savvy, this might not seem an issue. But you must remember, these platforms are built to meet young adults' needs, not the young at heart. Even the online dating sites that market themselves towards an older age group don't always do a good job at catering to the specific needs of those of us finding love later in life.
Then there's also the added risk of being 'catfished' or taken advantage of by someone falsely representing themselves online. Just remember this rule of thumb: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Does this mean you can't try online dating? Of course not! It turns out that the age group 50 and older are the fastest-growing demographic on Match.com, and they make up around 20 percent of the site's daters. When creating your profile, enlist the help of close friends. Add a recent picture and keep things honest (no lying about age, height, weight, etc.)
Just make sure to exercise caution and proceed slowly regardless of where you are meeting your dates. If you keep a positive attitude, realistic expectations, and an open mind, you'll have the hang of dating in no time.
Dating As A Senior Tip #6: Know How To Turn A 1st Date Into A 2nd
Dating, as a senior or otherwise, should be fun. You don't want to put too much pressure on yourself or the other person. Instead, focus on having interesting and exciting experiences if it leads to more, great. If not, you can keep having fun or work on building a stronger connection with someone else. Not every first date will lead to a second one, but there are some ways you can increase the chance if that's something you want.
Worried about the cost of dating? There are many free or close to free dating options that will be fun and won't make you look like a "cheapskate." Making sure that your first time out suits your date's interests will help you secure a second one.
Not sure what to talk about on your date? This list from eHarmony is a great starting point. Specific suggestions include passions and dreams, your bucket list, and things that make you laugh. Taking these conversation starters and turning them into questions for your date is a good way to get to know him or her as well. As long as the topics are positive and you're listening more than you talk, it's okay to share.
Dating at any age can be challenging and overwhelming, but it can also be exciting and energizing. Through self-reflection, by focusing on improving your physical health and image, setting realistic expectations, and getting some professional help if you need it, you'll be ready to date again. Hopefully, the first won't be the last, and you'll be a dating pro in no time!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
Does dating get harder as you get older?
Dating can get harder as you get older, but there is also a greater chance of discovering a partner who is truly right for you. The dating scene for teens and people in their early 20s comprises individuals who may be immature and unable to understand how much of a commitment goes into a long-term relationship and other factors. As you get older, you may find dating to become an easier task.
The dating scene for adults over the age of thirty and beyond consists of more experienced people in the world. In senior living, you come to understand yourself more. You learn about what you like, dislike, and understand how you socialize with other people. Furthermore, you may also have created wonderful friends who can provide valuable dating advice. As such, your criteria for choosing a partner is more than just if they like you on a surface level. The criteria can include your potential partner’s hobbies, personality, and how they interact with you. Thus, the only way for you to find out if somebody is truly right for you is by understanding who you are as a person. You can do this by listening to dating advice from people you trust deeply as they know things about you.
When you become older, you have more experiences, both good and bad. Perhaps your dating process was far different from how you approached dating in your senior life when you were younger. So you learn from these past experiences, incorporate valuable dating advice or life advice that others have given you, and use your knowledge to choose a partner best for you.
How long should seniors date before marriage?
Senior women and men should spend quality time with each other before they consider marriage. By the time somebody reaches their senior life, there is a chance that they were married or had a serious relationship, but, for one reason or another, they are now single. When thinking about dating senior women and men as one of many single seniors, the first thing that you can consider is making sure that you enjoy the time you spend with your partner.
For some people, the idea of marrying right after they meet is tempting, but before committing seriously to a relationship, instead, listen to advice for seniors and dating advice from friends and family. Advice for seniors differs from receiving dating advice as a young person. You are not the same person as you were in your twenties. And this is a great thing. As an older person, you know yourself better than anyone. Therefore, the best advice for seniors is to follow your heart. If you believe that a partner is a right person for you, do not rush into marriage. Instead, be patient and spend your time with them.
Can you fall in love at age 70?
No matter your age, you can fall in love with anybody, even someone in their senior life at the age of 70. Various dating sites can help you become active on the dating scene and find somebody with whom you can spend your life-loving. You can even use mobile applications to expand your search for dating services to advise someone perfect for you. If you still find trouble finding somebody right for you, consult your family and loved ones about dating advice. They can help you understand who you are as a person and even point you to helpful dating services.
What is the best dating site for people over age 60?
Senior dating sites are abundant online, with hundreds of online daters, making the process of dating easier and convenient for people who do not want to leave their homes because of the pandemic. It is important to be aware of online daters since they can easily create a false persona online for their amusement at the cost of your well being. Below is a list of a few senior dating sites that are trustworthy and a good way to find genuine and kind-hearted online senior women and men daters:
Through these dating services, you can find someone who wants to meet with you and spend time together. You can always ask your family and loved ones for advice for seniors, including travel tips for a first date or other advice tips. The dating scene may change from age group to age group, but dating advice also improves, influencing your thinking about dating for many single seniors.
Should you remarry after age 60?
Your decision to remarry after age 60 depends on how you feel about committing to another relationship. According to a PEW Research study, cohabiting adults ages 50 and older increased by 75% from 2006 to 2016. These results show that many people in their senior life continue their life dating by not marrying. Essentially, many seniors are simply satisfied where they are with their partner and participating in the dating scene. But if you want to remarry, then there are a few factors to consider:
What are the rules of dating after age 40?
The simplest and only rule of dating after age 40 is being honest and straightforward with your partner. In your senior life, if you find a person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the best advice for seniors is to find somebody who loves you for both your strengths and weaknesses.
The dating scene for seniors is vast and filled with people who are also looking for an honest partner. After you find a person that seems genuine, respect them by being honest about yourselves to them. During dates inspired by travel tips, talk to them about your experiences, both the good and bad. You know you found the right person if they accept you for who you are. You did not find the right person if you have to pretend to be somebody else.
The dating scene includes many people who are trying to scam you out of your money or belongings. But there are just as many people on the dating scene trying to find the one person who can listen to them about their struggles without judging them or looking down on them.