Four Signs He Is Interested In You After First Date
First dates can be a bit nerve-wracking. Whether you are meeting people on a dating app, in person, or through a friend, the first date is where the rubber meets the road. You may have engaged in some flirting via text message. The texting habits of a guy who likes you means he wants to be with you. Also, you may have a hearty conversation on the phone, or messaging through an app, but you haven't met face to face with the full force of body language to see if there is a spark you would like to pursue.
So, you decide to meet him for drinks at your favorite happy hour spot. You both show up (which is a good first step) and have a great evening talking over drinks. Now you’re back at home and wondering how the date went and if he liked you. You may be wondering when to text after first date, if you should text him straight away or wait.
How Do You Know If A First Date Went Well?
You can spend hours, days, and weeks over-analyzing your first date, picking apart what was said and every action. What you’re trying to figure out is the first date sparks, if your date actually liked you and if the date went well enough to have a second date. Remember, all the real romantic stories started out with a first date, so it’s great to know the real reasons and results of your first date, especially if it was with someone you’re really attracted to.
You know how you feel. You enjoyed yourself, had a good time, and would like to see the person again. So how can you tell if the date went well?
Here are some signs a first date went well and that you're safe to make a list of what to do after first date:
It Was Easy To Talk To Each Other
One of the best indicators that the date went well was how easy it was to talk to each other. Conversations can lag, and the lulls can be awkward silences. It can make it difficult to pay attention, or it might even make you feel uncomfortable. However, a few lulls in the conversation are normal, and if’s he’s interested in you, they would have passed quickly. If you found yourself with few of those and felt the conversation naturally jump from topic to topic, you know that there is good mind chemistry between the two of you.
It doesn’t take a dating coach to know that when two people find it easy to talk together, it shows they like how the other person thinks. Through deeper and longer conversations, guys reveal the real thoughts and feelings below the surface. They do this with both their words and their body language.
You Both Had A Chance To Talk
Nothing is worse than going on a date and never getting in a word. When one person dominates the conversation, it can feel more like a one-person play than a date. He might ask broad questions at first, but as the conversation continues, he might ask more personal questions, such as how you start your day or what you think about certain topics. When your date dominates the conversation, you do get a chance to hear about them and their life, but it’s such a fire hydrant of words that you may often get bored, especially when you aren’t able to add anything to the conversation. If he can’t stop talking, or if he expects you to carry all of the conversation, it’s hard to tell if he’s interested in you or not. This is NOT one of the signs a first date went well.
When you both get a chance to talk on a date, you get to know each other with reciprocity and mutual respect. You also get to feel out each other’s eye contact and body language, which is a big step up from just texting or talking on the phone. You get to know about them and their life, and they get to know you.
The Date Had A Lot Of Laughter
Laughing with someone is a sure-fire way to tell if you are having a good time. Maybe it’s laughing over dad jokes or funny work stories. The content doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are at ease enough to let loose and laugh together. That’s why prompting laughter – even if his joke wasn’t the funniest this – is one of the subtle super fast ways to build attraction between the two of you.
If you come away from the date with an inside joke or two, you know both parties had a fun time. If you genuinely enjoyed each other, connecting over humor, laughter, and fun is bound to happen.
Your Anxiety Was Low For Most Of The Date
You may feel butterflies in your stomach at the start, feeling nervous about meeting a new person. That’s normal to feel. If your anxiety stays through the date or gets worse, you’re not going to have a good date. What’s more, your date will probably be able to read this anxiety from your body language, which could make them feel uncomfortable and anxious, as well. The other person may be aware of your anxiousness or even be the cause of it. Either way, anxiety doesn’t lead to a date.
If, however, your nerves settle and you find yourself comfortable around this person, the first date is more likely to go well for both parties. The more comfortable you are with the other person – and the less anxious your date behavior is – the more you can be yourself. Moreover, being yourself is what is going to make the other person like you.
The Date Went Longer Than Expected
Maybe you both lost track of time. Maybe one of you suggested grabbing dinner, dessert, or after-dinner drinks. Whatever the reason, sometimes dates go longer than expected. When a date runs long, it’s usually a good thing if you like the other person. It gives you more of a chance to get to know them as well as spending more time with someone with whom you’re infatuated.
When dates go long, it’s usually a good sign, signifying both parties are having a good time. That’s a significant sign of a good date: you’re having a good time and don’t want it to end.
Is He into You?
No matter how good the date goes, or how much of a disaster it may be, the question can still arise: does he like me? Does he want to date me? And how can you tell how a guy texts when he likes you? One way to gauge if he like you or not is if the first date went well. You can also look at other indicators such as body language. If you were part of his excellent time, he probably wants to have an encore with a second date. Second dates usually mean he likes you.
However, we can all be blindsided at times. We think a first date goes really well but never heard from the person again. We’ve all felt the sting of ghosted sex relationships, often without the reasons why they ghosted. So, how do you tell if a guy is interested in you after the first date?
He’ll Tell You He Had A Good Time
Please, ignore that three-day rule or anything else that dictates how long a guy should wait to contact you after a date. If he likes you or if he’s interested in a second date, he’ll probably text or call you the next day and tell you what a good time he had.
Not only is this a confirmation that the date went well, but it’s also a sign of respect and his desire to keep the lines of communication open. The more he wants to communicate, the more he wants to get to know you more because he’s into you.
He’ll Want To Be Social Media Friends
If a guy likes you, he’s going to want to communicate with you. In this day and age, that means social media. If he asks for your Facebook profile or your Twitter handle, he’s not trying to increase your follower count. He wants to stay connected to you. Even this long distance solution can lead to dates in the future, and he’s banking on that possibility.
It can be a bit off-putting to invite someone you barely know into your personal life in this way, but the truth is that social media is a great way to stay in contact more casually. It’s not quite as intense as texting or calling all the time, and some people might prefer something not as intense.
He’ll Want A Second Date
If he likes you, he’s going to want to see you again. The simplest way he can communicate he likes you: setting up the second date. This is clearer than any body language or eye contact could ever be! When he suggests you go out again, feel free to suggest things to do for the second date. You can even be adventurous and suggest the second date yourself.
Either way, a second date is a massive sign that he is interested in you and one of the best signs he wants to date you exclusively. Remember, first dates lead to second dates lead to third dates lead to more.
He’ll Mention His Friends
If a guy is interested in you, he’s probably going to bring up talk about his friends, what they do, who they are, and stories about times spent together. When a guy does this, it’s because he is letting you into his life in a closer way. He may even mention to you that he talked about your date to his friends.
As you know, friends are on your side. They want you to have fun dates and get what you want out of the dating scene and relationships. If he begins inviting you into the lives of his friends (maybe even suggesting a group date), you can be sure he is thinking about more than just that first date.
Let’s be More Than Friends
It’s essential to have goals when you begin entering the dating scene. Do you want to have fun and go on as many dates as possible? Alternatively, are you looking for something more committed and long term oriented? Maybe something in the middle of the two. There is no right or wrong answer; the choice is up to you. There’s no right or wrong way to date.
If you are looking for a committed relationship, you may want to think of couples counseling at some point. Couples counseling is a great way to strengthen the bond between you and your partner as you continue down the relationship path.
When looking for a therapist, it is crucial to find one that can fit with your lifestyle and schedule. Online therapy is great for this. You can have a session from almost anywhere. You and your partner don’t even have to be in the same room. Online therapy is a way to get the benefits of therapy without having to put your days on hold to travel to a therapist’s office.
Trust your instincts when it comes to figuring out if a first date went well or if he likes you after the first date. Your intuition is a powerful tool. You instinctively know from body language, tone of voice, and vocabulary used if there was a spark or not. You can feel the chemistry between two people, and if that’s not there, it is ok to move on from that person.
However, you choose to handle figuring out if he likes you, remember that your worth isn’t wrapped up in someone’s opinion of you. You are a wonderful person just as you are, and anyone is lucky to get the chance to date you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
When a guy is touchy on the first date?
If a guy is touchy on the first day, he is probably trying to communicate to you that he’s interested. This is one of the biggest giveaways from a guy’s body language. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, you absolutely do not have to go on a second date with him, nor do you need to stay in the situation. Try to have a plan in place whenever you meet up with someone from online dating sites, or even someone you met organically, for a first date. Give your BFF a heads up that you’ll be out with someone new, and ask them to keep an eye out for you, or even check in periodically. Even when you’re using the best online dating sites, there are people out there that you must be wary of, and there’s never any harm in taking safety measures. Physical touch is something that you should always have mutual consent to.
Is it OK to hold hands on a first date?
Most people choose not to hold hands on the first date, especially if they are meeting the person for the first time. There are nuances to this. For example, if you were friends for a long time before you started seeing each other in a romantic way, or if you were flirting for a long time and are just now going on your first formal date, hand holding might be more appropriate. Although hand-holding isn’t sexual at all, it is intimate in a sweet way. In most cases, you will likely be able to feel out the right moment to reach out and hold his hand. The same is true for him; it’ll happen when the moment is right. Holding hands too soon might feel a little bit awkward. Subtle, short-term physical contact, such as if you touch his arm, or if he reaches out to touch your arm, may occur before hand-holding. Brief, natural, and consensual physical touch is a great sign that things are going well.
What does it mean when a guy accidentally touches you?
If it was a true accident, all that it means is that he accidentally moved your way too quickly or lost his sense of coordination and accidentally touched you. If it was not a mishap, he is likely using this subtle body language to make a pass at you or is trying to communicate to you that he likes you. Light physical touch is a pretty well-established sign that a guy likes you. For example, if you are on a date and his hand brushes your arm, he is almost certainly trying to signal that he’s into you. Other signs a guy likes you include the way he looks at you, his body language, how engaged he is when you speak, if he asks questions about your life and seems genuinely interested, and if he reaches out to you after a date to tell you that he enjoyed spending time with you or that he would like to do it again.
What are some red flags in dating?
There are some red flags to look out for when you’re talking to a guy. Some big red flags include signs of cheating behaviors or anything that alludes to infidelity (if a guy’s weddings ring is still on, ask about it – he might just be thirsty for a threesome), boundary-pushing (your boundaries, related to sex or otherwise, should be respected), angry outbursts, asking for money, gaslighting behaviors, love bombing, or a relationship that escalates way too quickly. If you see any of these red flags, it’s time to master reverse away from that potential relationship. When you go on a first date or first start seeing someone, you don’t know that much about each other’s personal life, so things should not intensify rapidly. You want to have the time to learn more about each other and experience the unrushed milestones that generally occur when you start dating someone. Everything should move at a steady pace, and you shouldn’t feel pressured.
How do you know if a date went well with a guy?
There are several ways to know if a date went well or not. One of them is a follow-up text. If he sends a follow-up text saying that he can’t wait to see you again, it’s a great sign that the date went well. Another more obvious sign that a date went well is that he asks you on another date or says something akin to, “we should do this again sometime.” If, on your first date together, you enjoyed yourself and seemed to connect well, the feeling is likely reciprocal. It’s a magical feeling when you join someone for a first date, and the conversation flows. Just as he might tell you that he had a great time, you can reach out afterward and tell him that you had a good time. You don’t have to move too quickly or say anything over the top, but you don’t have to play hard to get, either. Be genuine and pace yourself comfortably.
What if he kisses you on the first date?
A small peck is one thing; a full-on makeout session is another. If you do end up kissing on the first date, it’ll likely be the most comfortable to keep it to a quick peck on the lips or cheek. That said, the most important thing when it comes to exchanging a kiss, on a first date or otherwise, is if you are both comfortable with whatever happens in terms of physical touch or kissing. If he says, “can I kiss you?” and you’re into it, it’s a great sign. Asking before initiating the first kiss, whenever it happens, is a great sign because it shows that he understands the importance of consent and autonomy. When a guy asks if he can kiss you, it’s both a sign of respect and a sign that he likes you.
Can you cuddle on the first date?
Technically, you can cuddle on the first date, though it isn’t all too common if it’s your first time meeting someone. Cuddling on the first date is something that you likely want to stay away from in most cases. You don’t want to rush into things too quickly, in terms of physical contact, body language, or anything else. Instead, try to use the first date to get to know someone better and find more information about who they are as a person. For sex relationships beyond a hookup, waiting to cuddle – even if it doesn’t seem that intimate – is likely your best bet under most circumstances. If you want a romantic relationship in addition to sex relationships wait to cuddle. If he tries to cuddle with you or initiates an intense, heavy makeout session and tries to take it further while you’re on your first date, it’s a sign that sex is what he’s after, perhaps rather than a romantic relationship. Even the best dating sites that appear to be more about romance than sex relationships or relationships that are purely sexual have people that are there for hookups. It is on both of you to communicate what you want before you meet up for the first time. If he did not communicate explicitly to you that he’s looking for a hookup, but you get to the first date and that’s what he’s all about, that is on him. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you have every right to leave if you want to.
Are there off-limits topics for a first date?
When you’re on a first date, especially if it’s with a person who you want to pursue a longer term relationship with that goes beyond just weekend sex, there are a few things that you don’t need to bring up. For example, opening overtly sexual topics, such as what a man thinks during shower sex as opposed to what a woman thinks during shower sex, is not really necessary on a first date, especially if you’re looking for something more than a casual hookup. After all, the differences between what a man thinks during shower sex as opposed to what a woman thinks during shower sexis not really pertinent to getting to know each other better. And, just another PSA your weekend sex habits aren’t a great topic of discussion if you want more than just a sexual relationship.
If your date seems obsessed with only talking about your sex life instead of actually getting to know you, you can have a couple of questions or segues lined up as ways to turn the conversation back to more comfortable topics. When you’re on top of the conversation, as well as the body language that you’re giving and receiving, you can better direct the conversation away from uncomfortable topics. And, if you find that the whole situation is becoming too uncomfortable or feeling unsafe in any way whatsoever, you can leave. You don’t have to have a pretext to save lives or anything: you can walk away from a date if it feels uncomfortable.
How long should a first date last?
Interestingly enough, many experts say that the first date should only last about one hour. It’s long enough to see if you click, and it diminishes the possibility of awkwardness or not knowing when to end the date. This is why many people decide to go to a coffee shop for their first date with someone. If you just take a coffee break, go for a happy hour at a local bar, or get a quick lunch, you will make an initial interaction, see if there’s anything there, and then, you can ask the person to go on a second date where you will engage in a more time-consuming activity. For example, if your first date at a coffee shop went well, you can ask them to dinner or to a movie or vice versa. That said, if you lose track of time on a first date because you’re both enjoying it and it spans past the one hour mark, there’s no reason to cut it short. Again, it is one of the potential signs that your first day went (or is going) very well!
If you’re confused about sex relationships and similar topics, there are a variety of quality books by professionals that you can look for. Some couples offer advice as well, through coaching services, blogs, or other means. If there is a specific topic that you’re interested in related to sex relationships or human connection in general, you can probably find it. For example, you can find books about love by zodiac sign, sex positions for specific moods and intentions, what it’s like to have a karmic relationship, interracial couples, how to have healthy relationships, sex positions, and even the psychology of how we fall in love. If you want to talk to a professional one on one, never hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor, whether it’s someone who practices online or in your local area.
How do you know if there is chemistry on your first date?