Seven Dating Tips To Find The Right One For You

Updated October 7, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that could be triggering to the reader. Please see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Whether you’ve just entered the dating scene or have been searching for your special someone for quite some time, it can be tricky trying to determine who could be the right person for you. Everyone has different needs and wants when it comes to a relationship, and while you may be head over heels for someone, it’s not guaranteed those feelings will be returned. Whether you’re casually dating, exclusively seeing someone, or considering entering a relationship, most people could use some pointers to make the most of their experience. In this article, we’ll be discussing seven dating tips that you can use to find the right one for you.  

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#1 Be yourself

When in a new relationship, many people fall into the trap of acting differently to impress their new love interest. However, this approach may be unhelpful when you are searching for a long-term partner. 

It can be understandable if you want to do things that make you stand out from the crowd, but acting out of character or doing lavish things to impress your date may backfire. Try going about it a different way by showing your date who you really are and letting them decide whether they’re interested or not. Being yourself can also give your date permission to be themselves. Then, you both can assess whether you two have enough in common to pursue something more.

When you rely on genuineness to win your partner's affection, you cannot fail. Why? The right person for you will accept you just as you are. There won’t be a need to keep up a facade or to maintain an image. You can relax in knowing that you are true to yourself and your partner. As your relationship grows, it can be built on a foundation of honesty and trust rather than deception. These are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. What better way to implement them than by making them a priority from your very first meeting?

#2 Ask questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions while dating or in a new relationship. The goal of dating, especially early on, is usually to get to know one another better. Of course, everyone has different purposes for dating, and it can be important to know what you want—whether that’s a casual fling or a long-term partnership. 

The rules surrounding what you can talk about on a date are much more lenient than they used to be. Where it might have been taboo to talk about controversial or political topics before, it is often acceptable now. Some people may even argue that it is imperative, particularly if you think that your date’s differing views could drive a wedge between you. The more you learn about a person, the more you can assess whether you are compatible with them. Asking the tough questions right out of the gate can save you both time and heartbreak.

On the other hand, asking questions could make you realize a deeper connection between the two of you. There is always a possibility that the next date you go on will be the right match. If the two of you hit it off and have similar interests and ideals, you may be right for each other. The only way you can discover these traits, though, is by talking about them, and one of the most effective ways to encourage an open conversation is by asking questions.

Getty/AnnaStills

#3 Take it slow

New relationships bring about a plethora of emotions. You might feel excited, apprehensive, and maybe a little nervous. The beginning stages of a relationship are often fun and exciting for most people. As hard as it can be, when you meet someone new, try to resist the urge to rush your relationship. In the beginning, it can be easy to get along with most people. Before the dust settles and their true personality comes to light, you could be dating someone radically different from the person you will be dating several months from now. For this reason, it can be imperative to take things as slowly as possible to make sure the foundation you build is solid. The longer you wait, you more you get to know the real them.

There is no need to rush a new relationship. If you are hoping for a long-term relationship to come out of this, patience can be key. You have all the time in the world to get to know this person and to build a life together. The last thing you probably want to do is rush into things and ruin the chance to stand on solid ground from the beginning. 

#4 Set and respect boundaries

Boundaries can be important, especially in a new relationship. Setting and sticking to your boundaries can tell your date how you’d like to be treated, how often you want to communicate with them, and how often you’d like to hang out in person. Your partner will likely also have their own set of boundaries that you will need to adhere to and respect.

It can be tempting to bend the rules in a new relationship, especially if you like this person a lot. However, it can be crucial to set the standards of a dating relationship from the beginning. If your date consistently oversteps your boundaries, it could ruin the relationship. Setting strict boundaries and enforcing them to the best of your ability can ensure happiness on both ends.

Your partner could have boundaries that are radically different from yours and you may not understand many of them. So much of what we allow or expect in a relationship is determined by what we have been through in the past. Since your experiences with exes and other past relationships won’t be identical, neither will your boundaries. Even if a request seems unreasonable or unnecessary to you, it can still be vital to adhere to and respect the boundaries set.

Above all, relationships are about love and support. If you can’t respect one another’s boundaries now, you are more likely to run into additional problems later in your relationship. Try to put in the work now to save yourself grief later. If you do, you may reap the benefits of a happy and healthy relationship.

#5 Don’t settle

The excitement surrounding meeting someone new can cloud our judgment. If you are battling feelings of loneliness or depression, it can be even easier to want to settle.

Understand that a relationship that is not meant for you cannot fulfill you in the ways you might believe it can. If you choose to engage in relations with someone who doesn’t check off your boxes, it may be difficult to find the happiness you’re after. Of course, no one is perfect, and not everyone who could be right for you will check off every box of yours. However, assessing basic compatibility and not overlooking nonnegotiable can still be essential to find what you want. 

It may be challenging to remain patient, but waiting around for someone that is right for you can often be worth it. The result might be a relationship with someone that you relate to and can build a life with. Only you know what that person needs to have to make you feel happy and fulfilled. Try to be patient and wait it out – eventually, you may find the right person for you.

#6 Put yourself first

Once we begin dating, it can be easy to neglect ourselves and put all our focus into connecting with another person. You might give up your hobbies and interests or stop seeing friends or family as much as you used to. While it’s normal for priorities to shift while in a relationship, the trick can be finding the right balance in your life. 

Spending time dating can be crucial to finding the right person for you. However, keeping a separate life going as well can ensure you stay healthy as an individual. If you don’t focus on yourself, once you find the person you’re seeking, you may not be personally healthy enough to sustain a fulfilling relationship. While it can be important for you to focus on your partner and show them attention, it can be equally as critical to pay attention to yourself.

Setting aside just thirty minutes every day to dedicate to taking care of yourself could be a helpful place to start. You can use this time to meditate, take a bubble bath, or read a book. The activity you choose doesn’t matter as much as the way it makes you feel. Choose an activity that is relaxing and makes you feel happy inside. If you have something you are particularly passionate about, you may choose to engage in that.

Caring for yourself fills you up to be able to take care of others. The healthiest relationships are a joined union of two people that love and care for themselves as they care for each other. If you put yourself first, everything else may naturally fall into place.

#7 Know when to get help

Dating isn’t always a walk in the park. Sometimes, you may find yourself in uncomfortable situations and not know how to respond. Perhaps this is your first time dating or entering a relationship and you feel unsure about what you’re doing. Maybe you had a bad or traumatic experience on a date or in a relationship and need to process what happened. Unhealthy relationships can be difficult to identify, but perhaps you’re finally seeing that yours may be toxic and don’t know how to get out of it. Or maybe you’re struggling to put yourself out there at all because of social anxiety or some other concern. 

In any of these cases, it can be important to seek help. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can be crucial to getting the support you need. In some cases, particularly if you’ve gone through something traumatic or just need a listening ear, it could be beneficial to speak with a professional. A dating coach or relationship therapist could equip you with tools for effective dating and guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 

Getty/AnnaStills
Searching for “the one?” - speak with a relationship expert

Online counseling with Regain

If dating seems to be particularly hard for you or you have overwhelming emotions surrounding it, seeing a professional could help. However, face-to-face counseling isn’t always easy to access, and you may face certain barriers to care like cost, lack of transportation, or a lack of providers near you. With Regain, you can meet with licensed therapists from the comfort of your home through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging. They can help you tackle your relationship woes and work toward being the healthiest version of yourself – both in and outside of relationships. Reach out to take the next step in your personal and romantic life. 

The effectiveness of online counseling 

Looking for “the one” can be a lonely and isolating journey, particularly if you don’t have a solid support system. You may face rejection and have trouble continuing to put yourself out there. For these reasons, online counseling could be beneficial. In one study, researchers found that online-based therapy effectively improved participants’ feelings of loneliness. These results show that those needing support as they navigate the dating scene could find encouragement through web-based counseling interventions.

Takeaway

It’s natural to desire a romantic relationship. Although finding the right person for you can feel like a lot of pressure, it doesn’t have to. By working on becoming the best version of yourself and trusting that you will find what’s meant for you, you can use dating as an opportunity to identify what it is that you’re looking for in a partner and enjoy meeting new people. While dating should be fun, it can also be challenging. Connecting with a licensed therapist can help you navigate obstacles you might face on your journey to love. As you become more self-aware and confident, you can learn how to attract the right people into your life and trust that you’re right where you need to be.

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