7 Dating Tips To Find The Right One For You
Dating someone new is an exciting and fun time for many people. When you meet someone you want to pursue a relationship with, figuring out what to do and say to secure a long-term relationship can be difficult. Perhaps you have been out of the dating game for a while. On the other hand, the person you have met may seem different than others, making you want to do everything right. We all could use a few pointers to make the most out of a new relationship.
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No matter what stage of a new relationship you are in, here are some pieces of dating advice you can use to find the right person for you. If you play your cards right, you might get your forever person!
Be Yourself
When in a new relationship, many people fall into the trap of acting differently to impress their new love interest. This isn't a good approach when you are searching for a long-term partner. This is one of the pieces of dating advice that you must pay close attention to.
Understandably, you want to do things that make you stand out from the crowd. Acting out of character or doing lavish things to impress isn't the right way to go about this, though. The good news is that you can do many things to accomplish your goal without deceiving your new partner.
For example, instead of pretending to have an interest that you know this person is passionate about, find common ground. Chances are, you two have something in common that is genuine. When you find that thing, you can zero in on it and bond over the activity. Perhaps you both love the outdoors. You can plan a romantic date at a secluded place in the woods after a long hike when you uncover this. The thing that will make you stand out is your thoughtfulness and tact.
When you rely on genuineness to win the affection of your partner, you cannot fail. There will be no need to keep up a curtain or to maintain an image. You will be able to relax in knowing that you are true to yourself and your partner. As your relationship grows, it will be built on a foundation of honesty and trust. These are the building blocks of a good relationship. What better way to implement them than by making them a priority from your very first meeting?
Ask Questions
Don't be afraid to ask questions in a new relationship. The goal of dating, especially early on, is to get to know one another. This is one of the easiest pieces of dating advice to implement into your life and relationships.
The rules surrounding what you can talk about on a date are much more lenient than they used to be. Where it might have been tabooed to talk about controversial or political topics before, it is acceptable now. Some people may even argue that it is imperative. The more you learn about a person, the better you will know whether you are compatible. Asking the tough questions right out of the gate will save you both time and heartbreak.
On the other hand, asking questions could make you realize a deeper connection between you. There is always a possibility that the next date you go on will be your perfect match. If the two of you hit it off and have similar interests and ideals, you will be a great match. The only way you can discover these traits, though, is by talking about them. The best way to encourage an open conversation is by asking questions.
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Take It Slow
New relationships bring about a plethora of emotions. You might feel excited, apprehensive, and maybe a little nervous. The beginning stages of a relationship are fun and exciting for most people. One of the most important pieces of dating advice to keep in mind is to take it slow.
When you meet someone new, resist the urge to rush your relationship. In the beginning, it is easy to get along with most people. Before the dust settles and his or her true personalities come to light, you could be dating someone radically different from the person you will be dating several months from now. For this reason, it is important to take things as slowly as possible to make sure the foundation you build is solid.
You know that you can trust yourself to be honest and upfront, but you likely don't know the other person. Even if you have been acquainted with this person for a long period, they could be a far different lover than a friend. The only way you can be sure you are getting the most genuineness out of them is by waiting.
There is no need to rush a new relationship. If you are hoping for a long-term relationship to come out of this, you must be patient. You have all the time in the world to get to know this person and to build a life together. The last thing you want to do is rush into things and ruin the chance you have to stand on solid ground from the beginning. Even though it might be frustrating and difficult, you must take a breath and come up for air from time to time. Rushing into things will rarely yield a good result, especially in a new relationship.
Set And Respect Boundaries
Boundaries are extremely important, especially in a new relationship. You will need to set boundaries and stick to them. Your partner will also have their own set of boundaries that you will need to adhere to and respect.
It can be tempting in a new relationship to bend the rules, especially if you like this person. You must avoid this at all costs. While you may feel at ease doing this in the beginning, it will not last. Most people can put up with less than they deserve, but only for a short period. After a while, you will get tired of this person overstepping your boundaries, which will ruin your relationship. The best way to ensure that the two of you are as happy as possible is to set strict boundaries and enforce them to the best of your ability.
Your partner could have boundaries that are radically different from yours. You may not understand many of them, as well. So much of what we allow or expect in a relationship is determined by what we have been through in the past. Because your experiences with exes and other past relationships won't be identical, neither will your boundaries. Even if a request seems unreasonable or unnecessary to you, you must adhere to and respect the boundaries set. This is the best way to make sure your partner is secure and happy with you.
The ultimate goal for both of you should be to make sure you are supporting one another. Above all, relationships are about love and support. If you can't respect one another's boundaries now, you are sure to run into additional problems later in your relationship. Make sure that you are putting in the work now to save yourself grief later. If you do, you will reap the benefits of a happy and healthy relationship for years to come.
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Don't Settle
The excitement surrounding meeting someone new can cloud our judgment. If you are battling feelings of loneliness or depression, it is even easier to want to settle.
Understand that a relationship that is not meant for you cannot fulfill you. If you choose to engage in relations with someone who doesn't check off your boxes, you won't be happy. It may be difficult to remain patient, but you must wait around for someone that is right for you. The result will be a relationship with someone that you relate to and can make a life with. Only you know what that person needs to have to make you feel happy and fulfilled. Be patient and wait it out - you will find the right person for you.
Put Yourself First
This section was almost titled 'get a life.' Once we begin dating, it is easy to slip into a fully obsessed pattern with finding and becoming close with another person. Because of this, we tend to cast aside our old friends and give up hobbies we once loved. If you don't believe this, consider that Tinder is a five-billion-dollar business with over 50 million members.
The trick here is finding a balancing act. Of course, you'll want to spend time dating. How else will you find the one? But you need to keep a separate life going as well. Otherwise, once you find the person you're seeking, you may not be personally healthy enough to sustain a fulfilling relationship.
Self-care should come first and foremost in any healthy relationship. While it is important for you to focus on your partner and show them attention, it is equally important to pay attention to yourself.
Setting aside thirty minutes every day to dedicate to taking care of yourself is a good place to start. You can use this time to meditate, take a bubble bath, or read a book. The activity you choose doesn't matter as much as the way it makes you feel. Choose an activity that is relaxing and makes you feel happy inside. If you have something you are particularly passionate about, that would also be a great place to start.
Caring for yourself fills you up to be able to take care of others. The best relationships are a joined union of two people that love and care for themselves as they care for each other. One of the best pieces of dating advice out there is to put yourself first. In the process, everything else will fall into place.
Know When To Get Help
If dating is a particularly hard thing for you or you have overwhelming emotions surrounding it, seeing a professional can help.
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The counselors and therapists at ReGain are licensed, experienced professionals. They can help you tackle even the nastiest of relationship woes. When you reach out and get help for yourself, you are working on being the best version of yourself - a version of yourself that can thrive in and out of relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
What are the 5 stages of dating?
The five stages of dating or five relationship stages include the honeymoon period, doubt/denial, disappointment/disillusionment, intimacy/stability, and commitment. Each of these stages is characterized by its own unique ups and downs, and each stage can signal the end of a relationship or a next step on the path toward finding a loving relationship. An in-depth look at each stage is necessary to understand how the stages work as a whole. Up first: the honeymoon period.
The honeymoon period of a relationship is when both parts of the couple see the other as an exciting answer to their hopes and dreams. This stage is usually characterized by a great deal of romance, infatuation, and starry-eyed optimism. Whether your relationship began via dating apps or was set up by a trusted family member, this relationship period is usually the shortest and most intense.
The doubt/denial stage is the relationship stage where doubt and concern for the relationship begin to creep in. During doubt/denial, the people in the relationship might begin to notice small details about their prospective partner that they hadn’t noticed previously—details that remove the rose-colored glasses and make it painfully apparent that the other person is flawed.
Disappointment/disillusionment is the final blow to many relationships, as this is the stage in which two people decide whether or not their disillusionment is substantial enough to leave the budding relationship and try someone new or determine that their relationship is worth the disappointment they’ve experienced—a first fight, perhaps, or the first sense of betrayal—and continue to pursue a relationship.
Intimacy/stability is next and is the stage that is entered into after a relationship has muddled through the difficulty of the disappointment/disillusionment stage. During this stage, both partners have determined that their relationship is worth fighting for and have begun to develop a deeper interest in one another. During this stage, intimacy is developed, and two people in a relationship begin to experience a deeper comfort and trust with one another.
Commitment is the final stage and describes the portion of a relationship wherein both parties have decided to go “all in” in their relationship and see one another as their partner over the long term. The commitment may be the final goal in dating relationships, but this is not always the case, and many relationships—even most relationships—never quite make it to this stage.
What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
The 5 most important things in a relationship range in who they target. Some involve one part of the couple, and others involve both parts of the couple. This is because a healthy relationship requires you to have a clear understanding of who you are and what you need—and the same is necessary for your partner. So what are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
- Trust functions as the ideal basis for all relationships because trust is essential to foster intimacy, encourage communication, and create a sense of safety and stability in a relationship. Even unconventional relationships rely on trust to function well, and virtually no relationship can thrive without some degree of trust.
- Communication is the second bedrock of healthy relationships and is built on a healthy amount of trust. Communication is important because neither party in a relationship can read the other’s mind and can provide everything the other needs. When both parties communicate, they know where they stand, and they know where the relationship is (or is not) headed. Online dating tips often stress the importance of communication due to the nature of the relationship. The best online dating relationship in the world will suffer if communication is not consistent and intentional, and in-person relationships are no different. Communication is essential.
- Respect goes both ways. You need to respect your partner, but you also need to respect yourself. Self-respect can go a long way in preventing toxic or unhealthy relationships and can also play a significant role in ensuring that your existing relationships are on a positive, healthy path.
- Relationships require some investment of time. Although it would not be healthy to invest every waking moment of your time into a romantic relationship—particularly at the expense of your work or other relationships—maintaining a strong and healthy relationship means spending some time together, even if that is as simple as talking on the phone, or catching up for a few minutes at the end of the day. The best dating tips often leave time investment out, but both parties must be willing to put some of their time into a relationship to make it work truly.
- Honesty can hurt, but ultimately, honesty will foster a relationship far more effectively than deceit or hiding. Honesty should always be delivered with consideration and care, and it is a wonderful way to make sure your relationship is on the right track. The best online dating tips often talk about honesty in terms of your profile photo and who you are, but honestly should also always be offered kindly, as “blunt honesty” is little more than cruelty.
Although many tips for finding your perfect person will focus on trust and intimacy, many of them fall short regarding your own development and mental health. Maintaining self-respect, honesty, and boundaries regarding time and communication are crucial to creating a strong foundation for a relationship.
What should you not do while dating?
Determining what you should not do while dating usually requires little more than determining what would put you out or make you uncomfortable on a date and steering clear of those things. Nevertheless, many people are nervous to start dating, whether they are trying an online dating site for the first time, are jumping back in after a long relationship, or land somewhere in between. They are eager to determine exactly what should be avoided in a new dating situation. If this describes you, never fear: there are several simple and easy things you should avoid while dating. These best dating tips include:
- Do not talk about yourself during all of your dates. A big part of dating is getting to know new people. You cannot do that if all you do on your dates is talk about yourself. Instead of always talking about you—your needs wants, and preferences—make sure you ask your dates about themselves. The best online dating relationships also require giving and taking, and conversations should not be one-sided.
- Do not bring up past relationships or past mistakes. Although these conversations are important conversations to have, they are rarely appropriate in newer dating situations. Leave discussions of past relationships and pitfalls for close relationships, and discuss the here and now with new romantic prospects. Even the best online dating relationship is bound to suffer if one or both parties constantly make comparisons to their ex or delineates the mistakes they’ve made with past partners.
- Do not treat the people around you rudely or disrespectfully. Although this is one of the best dating tips, it is a rule that should be followed generally, as well; no one deserves your ire, and if you find yourself speaking down to others, it may be time to focus on that behavior instead of focusing on a dating relationship. When you are out on your dates, re respectful of the people around you, including others on dates of their own, your servers, and the workers you encounter as you are out and about.
- Do not lie. If you have a 10-year-old photo on your dating app profile, hop on that dating app immediately, and update it with a more recent image. Misrepresenting your appearance is tantamount to a lie. Do not claim to have experience at work you do not have, and do not pretend you are anything other than what and who you are. After all, if you are hoping for a loving relationship or even a casual fling, you will be much better off accurately representing yourself than constantly trying to keep up a facade.
- Do not bring your ego along for the ride. Stepping into a date with an ego the size of a planet is unlikely to impress anyone and will most likely result in a loss of connection with your date. While confidence is something to be admired and often works well for dating, confidence and arrogance are quickly and easily mistaken for one another. If you behave as though you are better than your date or the people around you, you are unlikely to find yourself on a second or third date.
Dating does not have to be a chore or an overwhelming experience. Whether you are using dating apps, going out with your favorite barista, or finally taking that close friend of yours out, following the basic rules of kindness, consideration, and respect will typically yield the best date. All of the tips for finding a good partner will go out the window if you do not abide by these three simple tenets.
What are the rules of dating?
The dating rules will vary based on your age, life situation, and goals for your dating life. If, for instance, you are dating to have fun and meet new people, your dating rules will likely differ substantially from those of someone looking for a long-term commitment.
Nevertheless, there are some simple rules for dating that are likely to apply to every dating situation. These include the following dating rules:
- Check your expectations. Your date does not owe you anything. They do not owe you commitment, a physical encounter, or even all of their intention. As your relationship grows—if it does get off the ground—you will develop appropriate and healthy expectations, but in the first few months of a new dating relationship, make a habit of evaluating your expectations and determine if they are healthy, considerate, and realistic. The best dating situations involve a healthy dose of respect and giving others the benefit of the doubt.
- Communicate clearly. Communication is key in any relationship and is also essential for your personal dating rules. Communication means letting your date know when you are interested in getting to know them more and not. Communication is not always fun or easy, but it makes sure you and your date are on the same page and is best for you both in the long run.
- Leave your phone in your bag or pocket. This is one of the best tips for dating out there. When you are on a date, you should be paying attention to your date! Your social media accounts will still be there when your date is over, and being a few hours behind on the news is not typically a cause for concern. Keep your phone out of your hands, apart from emergencies, and pay attention to what is going on around you—including what your date is saying.
- Treat new people as new people. Although your past will always affect how you think and behave, take care to avoid treating your new dates as though they are the same people you’ve dated in the past, with the same faults and issues. Each new date and each new relationship is just that: new! Give your date and relationship the benefit of the doubt. Bad dates from your past need not turn into bad dates in your future.
Whether you are searching for a loving relationship to last the ages or are new to dating sites and are nervous about getting your feet wet, dating rules are typically simple. They require little more than consideration and common sense.
What are the 7 stages of love?
The 7 stages of love include:
- Initial Encounter/Acquaintanceship. The first stage of love is initial encounters or attraction and the possibility of developing a relationship with someone. In this stage, there is usually some flirting, some engagement, and there may even be an attempt to secure more time together. In a guide to online dating, this particular part of the relationship may be characterized by increasing the amount of time spent messaging someone online.
- Growing Closer/Companionship. During this portion of the seven stages of love, a blooming couple will grow closer. In-person interactions might be characterized by an increased interest in learning about one another. Simultaneously, a guide to online dating might suggest taking this time to ask deeper questions about your prospective paramour.
- Established Relationship/Friendship. During this portion of the stages of love, people will have developed a solid rapport and will have a solid friendship in place. There is typically a great deal of trust and closeness during this stage of the relationship.
- Greater Intimacy/Intimate Friendship. Intimate friendship is a stage of relationships wherein both parties create more intimacy through increased comfort and begin to treat one another as close confidants and cherished companions. This stage is frequently the stage during which people are most likely to leave one another, as it can be difficult and painful to deepen a relationship.
- Sensuality/Sensual Friendship. Sensual friendship should not be mistaken for sexual friendship because the two differ in their origin. Sensual friendship involves learning how to touch the other person in the relationship and how to welcome their touch through holding hands, being close to one another, and even just cuddling up together on a couch.
- Sexual/Creative Relationship. In the sexual/creative relationship stage, partners regard sex and sexual encounters as a reason for pleasure, bonding, and closeness and treat it as such. Far from being a simple fling or a one-night stand, the sexual/creative stage of the relationship sees sex as a source of connection and togetherness.
- Lifelong Partnership/Long-Term Partnership. In this portion of a relationship, both partners recognize that they must go through each relationship stage to develop a strong and healthy relationship. This stage involves two partners committing to their relationship and one another’s mutual growth.
