How Does Gottman Couples Therapy Build Trust And Manage Conflict?

Couples therapy can be life-changing for many people, and the Gottman Method is one popular form of couples therapy that is based on many years of research. It begins with the premise that a healthy relationship is founded on trust and commitment and that certain relationship elements are essential. 

With Gottman couples therapy, the therapist assesses the couple’s needs and then has the couple practice communication and conflict management skills and tools in a safe and structured environment. Benefits of the Gottman Method may include heightened feelings of friendship, deeper emotional intimacy, and improved overall relationship satisfaction.

What is Gottman couples therapy?

The Gottman Method couples therapy is a therapeutic model created by psychologists John and Julie Gottman. It’s based on what the Gottmans call sound relationship house theory, a metaphor for the components that are considered important for healthy relationships. The Gottmans founded the Gottman Institute, an organization that provides therapist training as well as resources for the general public. 

Elements of a healthy relationship

The Gottman Method’s “sound relationship house” concept is based on the two weight-bearing “walls” of trust and commitment and the following elements, or “floors”:

• Building love maps
• Sharing fondness and admiration
• Turning toward each other
• Viewing your partner positively
• Managing conflict
• Supporting each other’s dreams
• Building shared meaning 

How does the Gottman Method work?

Therapy with the Gottman Method follows a fairly structured format in which couples communicate and practice new skills. 

The Gottman couples therapy process

Gottman trained therapists may first conduct a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship. After going through an assessment process, a Gottman therapist can offer feedback and help the couple set goals. At subsequent sessions, the therapist might teach skills and offer practical tools to improve communication. The couple can practice skills and structured exercises in the therapist’s office, and they often receive “homework” for practice outside the therapist’s office. 

The Gottman Method is research-based

Gottman Method therapy is based on forty years of research by Julie and John Gottman, in what they termed “The Love Lab.” Their research considered data on interactions among thousands of couples. It identified what the Gottman’s call “the four horsemen,” which indicate high levels of conflict in a relationship. It also identified the elements that build the “sound relationship house” and established the fact that for a relationship to work, there needs to be more positive than negative interactions between the couple.

What are the benefits of therapy with the Gottman Method?

There are many benefits to receiving couples therapy from certified Gottman therapists. With the help of Gottman therapy, couples can work toward a thriving relationship that includes:

• Ability to better manage conflict
• Increased emotional intimacy
• A stronger emotional connection
• Increased sense of trust
• Improved friendship
• More positive interactions

Benefits of online therapy

While many in-person therapists provide Gottman therapy, you can also find this type of therapy online. Signing up with an online therapy platform can enable affordable therapy with a number of online Gottman trained therapists. Furthermore, attending couples therapy from the comfort of your own home can be convenient and discrete.