How Does Couples Therapy Work? Helping You Find A More Fulfilling Relationship
Key takeaways
- Couples therapists use various techniques to help couples build stronger relationships.
- Therapy sessions focus on identifying and changing patterns that may negatively impact the relationship.
- Research shows that couples therapy can offer a number of benefits.
Couples therapy works by supporting couples as they identify and change dysfunctional patterns and improve communication and understanding. There are a number of approaches to couples therapy. A therapist qualified in marriage and family therapy or emotion-focused therapy can tailor a treatment plan to the unique needs of each couple. Research has found that couples therapy can have a number of benefits for couples. In fact, a large body of research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as traditional in-person treatment.
What happens in a couples therapy session?
How does couples therapy work? What happens in a couples therapy session depends on various factors. Here’s a general overview of what you can expect:
- In your first session, your therapist may begin to get to know you and your partner by asking questions. This can help them build a therapeutic relationship and gain an understanding of the challenges you’re facing as a couple.
- Your therapist may also want to get a sense of how the two of you communicate, so there may be times when they sit back and observe your interactions.
- Throughout your sessions, your therapist can offer support and guidance. These mental health professionals typically strive to mediate difficult situations without taking sides.
- As a couple, you may set goals in your first session, and your therapist can then guide you through the therapeutic process and help you develop a plan to achieve them.
- During sessions, your therapist can help you identify patterns that may be negatively affecting your relationship and help you work toward beneficial changes.
- You might be assigned homework between sessions to strengthen the skills you learn and support real change in your relationship.
In most cases, couples attend relationship or marriage counseling sessions together, but individual therapy sessions can also be used during the therapy process. This can help the therapist or marriage counselor gain more information about the relationship or address a specific issue, such as when one partner is unwilling to commit to the work.
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What are the overall goals of couples therapy?
Each couple may have specific goals tailored to their unique relationship, but there are some common overarching goals of couples therapy.
Uncover patterns
One of the goals of couples therapy is to identify and disrupt unhealthy relationship patterns. The therapist can work with the couple to replace these patterns with more functional ones that support a healthy relationship.
Improve communication
Effective communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. A couples therapist can help partners learn critical communication skills, such as active listening, empathy, conflict resolution, and nonverbal communication.
Foster understanding
A couples therapist can help partners create an environment where they feel comfortable opening up about their thoughts and feelings. This may reduce negativity while promoting emotional connection and acceptance.
What techniques are used in couples therapy?
Multiple techniques can be used in couples therapy. Some of these include teaching emotional regulation skills, tracking patterns, psychoeducation, and role-playing. There are also a number of approaches to couples therapy that may be used, such as emotionally focused therapy or the Gottman method.
What does the research say about the results?
Research has found that couples counseling is effective and can have a number of positive results, including:
- Reducing relationship distress
- Coping with specific relationship challenges such as sexual difficulties, intimate partner violence, and mental health conditions
- Managing co-existing behavioral, emotional, and physical health concerns
Additionally, studies have found that online therapy can be an effective alternative to in-person treatment. If you are interested in seeking therapy as a couple but are concerned about fitting it into your schedule or don’t feel comfortable in an in-person environment, online therapy can be a convenient way to get results. Connect with a Regain therapist to learn more.
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Takeaway
Couples therapy aims to help partners identify challenges and overcome them, potentially building a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. A couples therapist can work with you and your partner to identify the unique challenges in your relationship, uncover patterns, improve communication, and foster understanding to build a healthier, more supportive relationship. Research shows that couples therapy can have many positive impacts on a relationship, and online and in-person treatment could have similar results.
How does couples therapy usually go?
During your first couples therapy session, your therapist might ask both you and your partner questions to get to know you and get a feel for your relationship dynamics. During this initial session, the therapist may also work with you to create a treatment plan based on your specific issues and goals for therapy.
Subsequent couples counseling sessions may focus on learning new skills (e.g., problem solving skills, communication skills, conflict resolution skills, etc.) and practicing them with your therapist’s guidance. The details of your sessions may vary depending on what type of therapy you’re undergoing, whether EFT, the Gottman Method, or Imago Relationship Therapy, for instance.
What should you not say in couples therapy?
Generally, you can say anything you want in the therapy room, but you might want to avoid saying intentionally hurtful things to your partner or directly blaming them for your relationship problems. Consider the purpose of attending therapy is to get on the same page, not continue negative communication patterns.
Why is couples therapy effective?
Couples counselors have undergone years of education and training to become experts at managing conflict in romantic relationships. They’ve researched what does and doesn’t work, and they have supervised clinical experience applying effective strategies and counseling couples. While the couples themselves must work hard during marital therapy to achieve relationship satisfaction, the role of a skilled couples therapist should not be understated.
How long do most couples stay in couples therapy?
For most couples, a few months of therapy may be enough to identify negative patterns in the relationship and forge a new path forward. Those with more complex relationship issues may spend three or four years with a licensed couples therapist. Individual sessions may last between half an hour and an hour each.
When should you stop couples therapy?
There might be various reasons for discontinuing therapy. For instance, if you and your partner have reached your treatment goals and can apply effective communication and conflict resolution skills without the guidance of your therapist, then you may be ready to move on from therapy.
How many marriages survive couples therapy?
Research suggests that up to 70% of people who attend couples therapy are “better off” after treatment than those who did not attend therapy.
Do marriage counselors ever advise to break up?
Not typically. A licensed marriage and family therapist is generally expected to remain neutral and allow the couple to decide what’s best for each of them individually.
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