How Can Marriage Counseling Help You Navigate Life’s Challenges?
Key takeaways
- Many married couples experience relationship challenges, and there are several common reasons why people seek relationship counseling.
- Marriage counselors can use evidence-based techniques to support their clients and teach them listening, communication, and conflict-resolution skills.
- Working with a qualified therapist can help couples deepen emotional intimacy and renew their commitment to each other.
Marriage is rarely without conflict, and marriage counseling can help couples navigate communication challenges, life changes, and other concerns. Married couples seek counseling for a variety of reasons, but no matter what brings them to therapy, they may experience relationship benefits. A couples therapist can use a variety of techniques to teach partners skills during therapy sessions. When both partners practice these skills in daily life, it can strengthen their mental and relationship health.
Why do couples go to marriage counseling?
People tend to seek couples counseling when they recognize that they have difficulty communicating or handling conflicts effectively. These difficulties can stem from a variety of life situations and challenges.
Common reasons for seeking marital counseling
There are many reasons why a couple might seek marriage therapy, and below are some of the most common ones:
- Difficulties with physical intimacy
- A lack of emotional intimacy
- Infidelity (physical, emotional, or financial)
- Differences in parenting approaches
- Big life changes, such as a move, job loss, or illness
- Financial challenges
- A tendency to repeat the same argument
Some couples decide to work on their relationship in a therapeutic setting before they get married by attending premarital counseling sessions. This can help ensure they are equipped to handle challenges after they are married.
What happens at marriage counseling?
In the first few sessions of couples therapy, a marriage counselor will usually take the time to get to know the couple. They will ask about the couple’s histories and challenges before collaborating with the couple to develop a treatment plan and therapeutic goals.
In subsequent therapy sessions, the therapist supports the couple as they communicate and work through their challenges. Often, the therapist teaches the couple valuable relationship skills, such as conflict-resolution skills and communication skills, throughout the process.
What strategies do marriage counselors use?
Licensed marriage and family therapists are specially trained in relationship therapy techniques, and a clinical psychologist can also conduct marriage counseling sessions. Mental health professionals can use strategies from various modalities to help couples resolve conflicts.
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Marriage counseling techniques
Marriage counselors use and teach specific techniques in their practices that can help couples constructively respond to life challenges. Among them are the following:
- Role-playing exercises
- Empathy-building practices
- Homework for the couple to complete outside of sessions
- Active listening and reflective listening
- “I” messages
- Time-outs during intense conflict
- Goal-setting exercises
Some marriage counselors use specific modalities or methodologies to guide the therapeutic process. Common couples therapy methodologies include the Gottman Method, emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and Imago therapy.
Does marriage counseling actually help?
Benefits of marriage counseling
There are numerous benefits associated with marital and relationship counseling, potentially culminating in a more fulfilling and healthy relationship:
- Improved communication
- Better listening skills
- Increased empathy
- Renewed trust
- Increased closeness and emotional intimacy
- Improved problem-solving and conflict-resolution skills
- Renewed commitment to the relationship
Getting started with marriage counseling
If you and your partner want to explore the benefits of marriage counseling, you can make an in-person appointment or sign up for an online therapy platform. Attending couples therapy online can make it more convenient, effective, and affordable to receive relationship support.
Research supports the efficacy of online marriage therapy and notes that it can be a valid alternative to in-person sessions. However, if one or both partners experiences significant mental health concerns, it may be wise to seek additional support in the form of individual therapy.
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Takeaway
What not to say in marriage counseling?
There may not be any hard-and-fast rules regarding what to say or not to say during marriage therapy. Still, to communicate effectively and forge a path forward, it might be best to avoid interrupting your partner, making degrading remarks, or directly blaming them for relationship issues. Your therapist may set some general guidelines for communication during your first session.
Does marriage counseling actually save marriages?
Yes. Relationship therapy with the right counselor helps couples resolve issues in a safe space and learn communication skills. While there are no guarantees, attending marital therapy may help improve a loving relationship.
What percentage of marriages survive counseling?
Experts say couples therapy is successful about 70% of the time. To increase your odds, it could be best to attend sessions regularly and complete any “homework” your therapist recommends.
What is most damaging to a marriage?
According to the Institute for Family Studies, the most damaging issues a couple can face include infidelity, a lack of commitment to the relationship, and excessive arguing. These also happen to be some of the most common reasons for divorce.
What are the hardest years of marriage?
Experts disagree about which years of marriage are the most challenging. Some say the first year is hardest while others cite year seven as the most difficult.
How to fix your marriage when it's falling apart?
There could be several ways to improve a relationship. For instance, you can learn each other’s love languages, work on communicating effectively, or take time-outs during arguments that start to escalate. Relationship counselors can help couples apply these and other techniques during in-person or online therapy sessions.
What is the No. 1 rule for saving your marriage?
There may be no single way to save a marriage, since every marriage is different. A big portion of safeguarding your marriage might be building a solid foundation and remaining committed to the relationship during good and bad times. Other factors may include prioritizing communication and, if you have a child together, getting on the same page about parenting styles.
How do I know if my marriage is beyond repair?
There could be several signs that divorce is on the horizon, including:
- An abusive spouse
- Chronic substance misuse
- Ongoing infidelity
- A lack of physical or emotional intimacy
- One partner is no longer committed to the relationship
Do marriage counselors ever advise to break up?
It’s not typical. Marriage counselors generally remain neutral parties, focusing on helping the couple improve relationship skills and dynamics. It’s up to both spouses to decide if the relationship is worth continuing.
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