What Causes Domestic Violence? Exploring The Triggers
Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include sexual assault & violence, which could potentially be triggering.
Domestic violence can be a traumatic and disruptive experience for everyone involved. While understanding why one partner may act violently can help explain their behavior, it does not excuse hurting someone they love. Explore the common causes of domestic violence, how to overcome aggressive tendencies, and how therapy can help you reshape harmful habits to build a healthy relationship.
What is domestic violence?
According to the United States Justice Department, domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used by one person to obtain and continue exerting power or control over someone they live with. While the most common target of domestic violence is intimate partners, children and roommates can also experience domestic violence. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. It is not tied to age, race, sex, religion, education, or socioeconomic background.
Different types of domestic abuse include:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- Financial
- Digital
- Sexual Coercion
- Reproductive Coercion
- Stalking
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7223) or visit the organization’s website to learn more about the resources available to support domestic violence survivors’ recovery and perpetrators to take accountability and reshape harmful behavior.
IPV explicitly happens between partners in a romantic relationship, and violent outbursts can occur anywhere. Studies show that 20 adults in the US experience domestic violence every minute, making it a problem affecting 10 million people every year just in America.
What causes domestic violence?
Ultimately, domestic violence is a choice perpetrators make. However, their decisions may be influenced by various underlying factors that can affect how they think, act, and feel. There is no single cause for domestic violence, but researchers have identified several common underlying factors that can contribute to violent behavior.
“If you are experiencing domestic violence, it's essential to understand that you aren't at fault for your partner's behavior. Survivors don't 'make' their abusers punish or target them with physical or psychological abuse. Abusers use domestic violence to gain power and control over their targets. Domestic violence is a choice on the part of the abuser, but certain underlying factors might sometimes contribute to a person’s propensity for abuse.” — What Causes Domestic Violence?
Childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect
Many people who experience childhood trauma, such as being subject to or witnessing abuse or neglect, continue the cycle of abusive behaviors as adults. Children often model their behavior after their parents or caregivers, so someone raised in an abusive environment may believe that’s how relationships work. If healthy, functional behavior is never presented to them as an option, they may have trouble knowing how to act in a relationship.
Choosing to behave violently
No matter what an abuser may say, you didn't "make" them do anything. They chose to act violently, using power and force to achieve their aims rather than communication and compromise. You are only responsible for your own behavior.
A history of violent behavior
While it can be difficult to have accurate numbers, with incidents often going unreported, studies show that domestic violence is usually not an isolated event. Of the people arrested for a DV incident, 10% to 18% are charged again within six months, 15: to 30% within 28 months, and as much as 60% within 10 years.
Refusal or inability to practice healthy coping skills
Anger and other negative emotions can be challenging to manage, especially if you don't lean on coping strategies to handle your feelings in a healthy, productive way. People who cannot or will not cultivate an array of coping skills to manage their stress and other emotional reactions may resort to anger and violence.
Enjoying the sense of power and control
Some people enjoy the sense of power and control they get when using violence and force to get their way. Some cultural environments encourage a powerful, dominant role for one partner in a relationship, usually the male. While the need for control and dominance can be addressed in healthy ways, abusers are typically not interested in the structure and responsibility of those relationships.
Common domestic abuse triggers
Triggers for domestic abuse include:
- Accusations of infidelity
- Other relationship stressors, such as financial concerns or difficulties at work
- Chronic drug or alcohol use
- Untreated mental health conditions
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Feeling threatened or insecure
- Arguments and anger
Genetic or physiological factors
According to recent research, some people may have a genetic predisposition toward violence. Certain neurochemical differences, such as testosterone levels and changes in neurochemical balance, can also make violent behaviors more likely to occur.
Attachment style
According to attachment theory, people develop their lifelong attachment style during childhood based on the type and consistency of the care they receive from parents or guardians. Your attachment style affects how you relate to and rely upon people and the way you behave in relationships.
“Children who are victims or witness domestic and family violence may believe that violence is a reasonable way to resolve a conflict. Males who learn that females are not equally respected are more likely to abuse females in adulthood. Females who witness domestic violence as children are more likely to be victimized by their spouses. While females are often the victim of domestic violence, gender roles can be reversed.” — Domestic Abuse, National Library of Medicine
Underdeveloped sense of emotional intelligence, awareness, and literacy
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your feelings. Emotional awareness describes how well you’re able to understand those feelings, and emotional literacy is how well you can express your feelings and needs to other people.
Mental health conditions
If a person is living with undiagnosed or untreated mental health conditions, they may experience aggression and violence as a symptom or in reaction to symptoms. Psychotic disorders like schizophrenia, mood disorders like bipolar depression, or personality disorders like antisocial personality disorder may often demonstrate violent outbursts.
Alcohol or substance use disorders
Many people who heavily or chronically use alcohol or other mind-altering substances that affect their judgment may exhibit signs of anger, violence, or aggression if confronted about their behavior or an argument occurs.
Poor conflict resolution skills
If someone doesn’t know healthy, practical conflict-resolution skills, they may not know how to act in a disagreement other than with anger. It can be essential to discuss how you’d both like to handle conflicts before they occur so you at least have some guidelines for functional behavior. As with most aspects of healthy relationships, communication and compromise can be crucial to working through problems together.
Overcoming violent tendencies
Ways to resolve violent tendencies include:
- Admit the problem
- Understand and provide what your partner needs to heal
- Talk to a therapist
- Develop and use practical coping skills
- Apologize to your partner (and children) and commit to better behavior
- Make meaningful changes
- Practice calming lifestyle skills like meditation and deep breathing
How therapy can help you heal after domestic violence
Understanding the causes of domestic violence can help explain the behavior, but it doesn’t excuse it or expunge the damage it can cause to the survivor or family dynamic. If domestic violence affects your home, consider working with a licensed relationship therapist online through a virtual therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can help you process your feelings after domestic violence—whether you’re the survivor or the perpetrator—and develop healthy ways to cope with anger and stress. Depending on your situation, you may want to consider individual, couples, or family therapy, or a combination, to help heal and move forward together.
Recent years have led to a massive surge of interest in flexible mental health treatment options. Researchers at the American Psychological Association conducted studies that show online and in-person therapy provide comparable results. Recent research indicates that couples therapy is equally effective virtually and in the traditional face-to-face setting. Both groups experienced increased relationship satisfaction and decreased symptoms related to stress, anxiety, and depression.
Takeaway
A person may react to a stressful or angry situation with violence for many reasons. However, that never excuses intentionally hurting someone you're supposed to love. The information in this article may offer insight into some of the underlying causes of domestic violence and how therapy can help you heal to move forward with a healthy relationship.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the 5 causes of violence?
Many individual factors may cause an individual to be predisposed to violence, but some common ones might include:
- Growing up with abusive parents, parents with substance abuse issues, or an environment where domestic violence was accepted and normalized.
- Having a hard time controlling or expressing emotions, having low self-worth. This may also stem back to undiagnosed mental health problems, like a personality disorder.
- Having a history of violent acts or other criminal activity
- Living in an unstable community (high rates of crime, high rates of poverty, etc.)
- to weapons
Sometimes, violent acts are caused by an interaction with someone else - a single moment in time. Other times, they can be indicative of a very real, serious behavioral tendency. Even when violence happens in the heat of a moment, it has usually been building up for a long time. Hatred can grow slowly, burn for a long time; then, if it’s never dealt with healthily, it can burst forward in a moment of violent rage.
Violence can take many forms, as can abuse warning signs. Physical or sexual abuse is a common type of violence, but violence can also involve indirect actions, like stalking or harassing. In times where domestic abuse was accepted, so too were the sometimes severe consequences.
Research suggests that when it comes to abuse, intimate partner violence is among the most common. It’s important to pay attention to abuse warning signs both in your own relationship and in others. Like mental abuse or sexual abuse, some types of abuse may be harder to identify, and sometimes outside intervention is necessary to help the recipient remove themselves from the situation.
If you’re dealing with sexual abuse, physical abuse, or another form of domestic abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is a great tool to use for immediate advice and resources. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
What are the causes of intimate partner violence?
The causes of intimate partner violence are far too numerous to condense into a single sentence. Domestic abuse is a complex and multifaceted issue, which is part of why it’s so hard to combat. However, here are some of the most commonly cited problems according to research:
- The abuser has an undiagnosed or untreated mental health problem, like an anger or personality disorder. This leads the abuser to be unable to control serious emotions.
- The abuser was culturally trained to believe that he or she is superior to the partner and their role is to control their partner. This is common, for example, in patriarchal cultures that believe men are superior to women.
- The abuser has serious problems with self-esteem and jealousy.
- The abuser was raised in a household in which intimate partner violence was normalized.
While some risk factors might make an individual more likely to become violent (growing up in a violent environment or one where domestic violence was accepted, for instance, may lead an individual to believe violence is a reasonable response), an abusive individual chooses to be abusive and to make decisions that harm others.
Some instances of violence are caused by interaction or specific altercation, but frequent or chronic relationship abuse doesn’t always have a real cause. Being aware of relationship abuse warning signs is crucial to avoiding them and supporting others who may be dealing with them.
In discussions of abuse, intimate partner violence is often a pressing issue. Research shows that relationship abuse is very common across the world - in the U.S. alone, it affects millions of people every year. Domestic violence support is more important now than ever. To domestic violence support, though, one must first be aware that it exists and know how to find it.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) is one example of a resource you might utilize if you experience or witness domestic violence. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free and can offer various circumstances, including physical and sexual abuse, mental abuse, and others.
A great time to be an ally for domestic violence victims is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In the U.S., October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. National Domestic Violence Awareness Month seeks to support and empower those who have dealt with domestic violence and provide guidance for what to do if you witness domestic violence.
What are the 6 risk factors for violence?
Here are 6 risk factors that may make an individual more likely to perpetrate or experience violence:
- Individual risk factors: this can include substance abuse, a personal history of assault or abuse, high emotional distress or a hard time controlling emotions, etc.
- Family risk factors: parental substance abuse, low parental involvement or investment, low socioeconomic status, etc.
- Social risk factors: involvement with violent individuals or gangs, unstable communities, etc.
- Community risk factors: fewer economic opportunities, high levels of poor residents, etc.
- Personal relations with a violent or unstable individual, like a spouse or parent
- Involvement in illegal activities
Like living in an environment where others believe violence is a reasonable reaction, some risk factors are out of our control. Others can be managed, and being aware of abuse warning signs makes you better equipped to react to them in the future.
Domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and other forms of abuse are never the individual's fault on the receiving end. If you’re experiencing physical or sexual abuse or another type of abuse, there are many ways to receive domestic violence support. The same is true if you witness domestic violence.
Who is at risk of violence?
Many factors may make you more likely to experience domestic abuse, physical or sexual abuse, or another type of violence.
Individual factors can sometimes play a part. Individual factors might include substance abuse, a history of being in abusive relationships, living in an environment where violence is a reasonable emotional response or one where domestic violence was accepted, and others.
Social and community factors can also play a role. Living in an area with high levels of violent activity, for instance, might make you more likely to encounter it yourself. You might also be more likely to witness domestic violence in these sorts of situations.
Relationship factors - if you’re dating, who you’re dating, etc. - are also relevant, especially in relationship abuse cases. Unfortunately, in discussions of abuse, intimate partner violence is very relevant; relationship abuse makes up a decent percentage of all violent crimes.
An interaction may cause some violent acts, but they don’t have to be. Sometimes violence that isn’t clearly caused by interaction or a specific moment can be the hardest to understand and make peace with.
If you’re experiencing or witnessing abuse warning signs, it’s important to seek out help. Domestic violence support options are more numerous today than ever, and many are only a few clicks away.
A great tool for those in the U.S. is the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE). The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, support to those who need it.
If you’re not looking to utilize something like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or are just looking to be a good ally, causes like National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is great ones to align yourself with.
How does domestic violence affect you physically?
Depending on the type of domestic abuse (mental, physical, etc.), physical consequences might include:
- Injuries - bruises, cuts, etc.
- Digestive problems
- Migraines
- Hypertension
- Substance abuse (and its physical results)
If you’re dealing with relationship abuse or domestic abuse, physical or sexual abuse, or another form of violence, you don’t deserve to deal with it alone. In terms of abuse, intimate partner violence is devastatingly common, according to research. Your abuser may try and convince you that violence is a reasonable reaction or “punishment,” but it never is.
There are many domestic violence support options available to you, some of which you can immediately. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is one such resource. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides to guidance, resources, and other important material for those who need it. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached in the U.S. at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Intimate partner violence deserves to be taken seriously right away - the consequences of intimate partner violence can be severe for your mental and physical health. Take advantage of opportunities to advocate for yourself and empower yourself whenever you can (like National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, among others).
What are the possible consequences of intimate partner violence?
What does intimate partner violence mean?
How do you identify intimate partner violence?
What are the warning signs of violence?
What is the most common form of intimate partner violence?
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