Attracting Women: How To Pique Her Interest

Updated March 11, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Are you always wondering, "What are women attracted to?" Attraction is a complex, multilayered phenomenon that cannot be exactly quantified by any singular study or through any one avenue. Attracting a woman might not be explicable through replicable science experiments, but there are certain factors that you can measure and work with to increase your chances of attracting a potential partner.

Rawpixel
Engaging is mindfulness is one thing many women find attractive

When working to improve your attractiveness to a woman, it is important to think about staying power and your goals in attracting women. If you are hoping for an ego boost, your behavior will be drastically different from hoping to attract a woman with whom to forge a legitimate connection or relationship. 

Many things can help sway a woman's interest in your direction, including physical features, personality traits, and behavioral indicators. Let’s explore these domains ahead.

Work within your league

Men and women alike flock to familiarity, so working within the same general level of attractiveness will make you more likely to attract a woman's interest. Although there are certainly people who marry people from different levels of attractiveness, studies have regularly demonstrated that as a whole, human beings prefer to spend their lives with people who operate within a similar sphere. 

Working within this framework is useful for potential partners and yourself because it allows both of you to feel like you are on equal footing. Working within your league is not essential, but it does open the "playing field" slightly more. Additionally, it demonstrates some self-awareness.

Share your passions

People feel attraction for others based on a complex cocktail of reasons, with communication skills being one of them. Talking about the weather only goes so far. If you share interests with a woman, she is far more likely to feel a connection to you and continue cultivating that connection past the first interaction.

The idea that opposites attract often carries a lot of romantic weight, but it is a myth; people create and maintain connections with people who are similar to them. What women find attractive is often someone with whom they can share their passions. The exact similarities a couple of will vary-some will go after someone whose hair is a similar color. In contrast, others will focus entirely on someone's emotional and mental traits before deciding whether or not their interest is piqued. 

Regardless, opposites do not attract: similarities do. People who share your beliefs, interests, and ideas may have far more to discuss with you than people whose interests lie in entirely different or opposing arenas.

Wear red

Getty

Scientists have concluded that women are attracted to people in red. Although the theories are numerous -- including evolutionary origins -- women were consistently more attracted to individuals wearing the color red than any other color or color combination and were even more likely to find someone framed by the color red attractive. One theory suggests that red is tied to the wealth -- a theory examined in this same study. Women who viewed pictures of men wearing red were more likely to consider the man wealthy or of high status.

If you want to attract women, add red to your closet. While it might not have hordes of women falling at your feet, it could pique a woman's interest enough to get your foot in the door. From there, your winning personality can take the reins.

Develop a sense of humor

Women are also far more likely to be attracted to a person who can make them laugh. Women value the ability to take a break and engage in lighthearted conversation and play, so being with a person who can match that energy is often extremely important. This does not mean you have to can crack jokes, but it means that you must make a woman laugh to consistently garner interest from the so-called fairer sex.

Humor is typically associated with greater intelligence, suggesting that the type of humor you engage in could come into play when trying to attract a woman's attention. Crass humor and cruel humor may or may not resonate; overall, humor displays some wit, self-awareness, and on-your-feet thinking.

Engage in a mindfulness practice

People who were perceived as engaging in some form of mindfulness practice, whether that was yoga or meditation, were consistently rated higher on an "attractiveness" scale, suggesting that women are uniquely drawn to either the presence of mindfulness or the state of mind that this type of practice creates. The exact mechanism behind this is not known. 

Still, one researcher suggested that the reason for a woman's interest in mindfulness is simple: those who practice mindfulness are kinder, more thoughtful, and better control of their emotions, which may suggest a better match for a partner than a person who is not similarly self-aware.

The ultimate draw for women

Although all of the steps above have been demonstrated to have a noticeable effect on whether or not women find someone attractive, there remains one enormous, important behavior that should never, ever be overlooked if you are hoping to attract a partner: simple kindness. 

Ultimately, someone's attractiveness is vastly influenced by their kindness. Kindness encompasses how you treat the people close to you -- your family, friends, coworkers – and how you treat the world around you. This includes your treatment of animals, the environment, the service workers you encounter from day to day. Kindness also comes through in how you treat yourself, like whether or not you can forgive yourself, own your mistakes, and move forward from a setback.

You can follow every one of the steps listed above. Still, in the absence of genuine kindness and consideration, women are highly unlikely to form a lasting attachment to or interest in you. Kindness encompasses many desirable traits, including respect, consideration, awareness of others, and humility, all of which are important traits to possess and exhibit within a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. 

Facial hair, crimson clothes, a stream of jokes, and similar appearances and backgrounds may not reconcile unkindness in your speech or behavior, or if you constantly behave in a self-absorbed way.

Taking the steps to attract a woman

Attracting a woman is more than a simple matter of changing your physical appearance or putting on airs; it involves taking a sincere look at yourself, your behavior, and your wants, and evaluating whether or not those are truly in line with creating a connection, relationship, or life with someone else. If any of these areas does not lend itself to a firm "Yes," it may be time to do some personal work before seeking out the company of a romantic partner.

Learning new habits and letting go of old, unhealthy ones can take time and patience. Therapists are often enlisted for this task. A therapist is trained to help individuals recognize behavior patterns that they possess and create stronger, more effective patterns and create check-in points and reassessments along the way. 

If you pore over the list above and recognize something in need of changing or an area that requires growth in your own life, consider reaching out to the therapists on Regain.us, as an online therapist can help you replace negative thought patterns or behaviors with empowered alternatives.

Getty/PeopleImages
Engaging is mindfulness is one thing many women find attractive

Through using online therapy platforms like Regain, you can receive support from a licensed therapist in accessible ways. To start, Regain enables users to schedule sessions with their therapists at compatible times. You can meet virtually from any location – like your home of office – as long as you have a safe internet connection. 

Exploring challenges related to attraction, relationships, and self-improvement are perfectly normal reasons to seek the counsel of an online therapist. Many individuals and couples have sought the services of online therapists for those reasons and others. One research study compared an online psychotherapy treatment with an in-person intervention to determine what, if any, differences there were in efficacy between the two modalities. Research not only showed no distinctions in overall effectiveness, but online therapy was associated with decreases in symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Takeaway

Putting your best foot forward, being yourself, and being kind are all vastly important traits that can yield more desire than an attractive face or a body. Cultivating a life and mindset that celebrates yourself and others can help create an almost magnetic pull toward you that women, as a whole, may find difficult to ignore. Should you want a professional online therapist on your team, you can reach out to Regain for support.

For Additional Help & Support With Your ConcernsThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.