Ellet Durbin


About Me

Hello! I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Western North Carolina. For the past 7 years, I have worked with couples, parents and families, on a variety of issues from relationship or family conflict, attachment issues, effective communication, blended and diverse families, gender and sexuality, and co-parenting, as well as working with clients with mental health struggles such as depressive disorders, personality disorders, ADHD, Autism, and more.

In therapy, I believe connection is key. My goal is to build a trusting, supportive therapeutic relationship where my clients feel safe to share with me and comfortable setting and working towards their therapeutic goals together. I love to find moments of humor and connection, but I am also prepared to sit with my clients in their moments of pain, processing and healing. I've been on both sides of the chair in therapy, and I think that speaks to my trust and confidence in the healing power of a therapeutic relationship. As a friend of mine used to say, "We may not wear the same shoes, but we've shopped in the same shoe store." I strive to create an environment where my clients feel seen, heard, and understood.

In couples counseling, it is important to maintain strong therapeutic boundaries and to treat each client with confidentiality, respect and honesty. I am skilled at facilitating sessions between couples and I believe it is important to establish both transparency and confidentiality early in the relationship to avoid triangulation (“taking sides”). My goal is to increase the couple’s healthy functioning and work toward their shared goals. In couples counseling, communication is key, and the goal is not for the therapist to be the middle-man, but rather, for the therapist to help dissect each person’s true concerns and helps address these concerns in a neutral manner.

I graduated with my Masters in Social Work from Tulane University in 2013. I identify as a transgender queer man, a writer, a trauma survivor, a partner, a therapist, a creative, a dog-owner and a dad-joke teller. I find it easy to connect with folks from all walks of life. I’d love to set up an initial meeting to see if we would be a good fit.

Client Interactions and Communications Policy:
I believe it is very important to discuss communication agreements up front. I prefer to work with people in a way that they feel is comfortable and effective. Some individuals only use this platform to complete their therapy in written form, some people may use live sessions (which include live chat, phone, and video), and some people use a combination of these options. I encourage each individual to decide what works best for them.

There is never a limit to the number or length of messages you can send. I can commit to sending 2 long messages a week (think- reading and response requiring around an hour total) or several shorter messages per week in addition to providing live text/video session. In total, you can expect me to spend around 2 hours a week devoted to you. If you are only requesting email messaging back and forth or live chat, please let me know and we can determine together what 2 hours of contact can look like for you.

It can take me up to 78 hours to answer long messages (as defined by messages that take between 1/2-1 hour to read and respond). If you have an urgent concern or message, please mark the message "Urgent" and I will respond as quickly as possible, and within 24 hours of my scheduled work days. As a general rule, I am checking messages often and responding daily, but I have around 20+ messages per day and it can be challenging to prioritize clients due to the set up of the BetterHelp messaging system. If you are only requesting email/ live text messaging, we can arrange a faster reply schedule that works for us both. (Examples could look like- We send several short messages within 24 hours several days a week, or we schedule 1 live text chat for 30 minutes and 3 messages throughout the week.)

It has been brought to my attention that some clients pay per session and some pay for month(s) at a time. If a client wants to meet more than one session per week, I ask that you review your own payment plan through BetterHelp or its affiliate sights (Teen Counseling, Pride Counseling or Regain Couple’s Counseling), as I am in no way affiliated with your payment or subscription plans. I am happy to discuss your plan’s allotted sessions with you and schedule to ensure you are getting what you are paying for.

Live Sessions
Live sessions can be done on a weekly (or less often) basis. I offer one or two 50 minute live session, or two 30 minute live sessions per week per client, depending on the therapeutic needs and coordination of both schedules. I can provide a maximum of six 50 minute session a month, or more 30 minute sessions. You can do less or more if needed, but our face to face time each week will usually be around 1 hour. Although not common, some people like short sessions of 15 to 45 minutes and this is totally fine, just let me know. The way I have opened my schedule, it shows 30 minute slots available to book. However, you can let me know you want a 50 minute session and I will reserve that second half hour in my own personal calendar for you.

Last minute sessions can sometimes be accommodated, but the platform will not let you schedule a last minute session yourself. If you would like to schedule a last minute session or just want to see if you can move your session time slot a bit, send me a message and mark it *Urgent, and I will see if we can arrange something. Even if it shows no availability on your side, there may still be time slots available.

As your counselor, I am in no way associated with the billing or subscription services with ReGain. Any financial inquiries should be directed to contact@regain.com. If a client cancels a session, the counselor does not receive pay for that missed time. With this in mind, I ask that my clients to be flexible if I need to take a day off for illness, mental health, etc. I am human too, and life happens. :) I am not available 24 hours a day 7 days a week and I devote 40 hours a week or more to BetterHelp and it's sister sites. . I take off two days a week like most folks do. BetterHelp provides "counseling services" as opposed to "counseling." This caveat is in place so that subscribers can access licensed mental heath clinicians without needing the medical coding and billing required by most health insurance companies. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in North Carolina, U.S.A. I am able to provide telehealth services to clients outside of North Carolina due to restrictions being relaxed due to COVID19. I am not certified or trained to work outside of North Carolina and my ability to serve clients outside of North Carolina is dependent upon rules and restrictions from the North Carolina Social Work Board.
Thank you, Ellet


  • Stress, Anxiety
  • LGBT
  • Family conflicts
  • Trauma and abuse
  • Depression
Also experienced in:
Relationship issues , Grief , Intimacy-related issues , Parenting issues , Self esteem , Coping with life changes , Compassion fatigue , ADHD , Adoption and Foster Care , Attachment Issues , Autism and Asperger Syndrome , Read more...

Clinical approaches:
Client-Centered Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Gottman Method, Motivational Interviewing, Solution-Focused Therapy, Trauma-Focused Therapy

Years of Experience: 7

Services Offered

  • Messaging

  • Phone

  • Video


LCSW #C012982 (Expires: 2021-06-30)


Written by T.Y. on Feb 20, 2021 after counseling with Ellet for 2 months on issues concerning relationship

We have been seeing Ellet as a couple and love him as our counselor. He has been very flexible with our scheduling, as we have had to make a few last minute changes. During sessions, Ellet is a great listener; He uses active listening to understand our concerns and probe further. Asking very pointed questions, he stimulates thought and discussion between my wife and I, which helps our understanding of each others thoughts and feelings, and brings us closer.