Hello, I have been a Professional Counselor for 20 years and have met many fascinating couples and dealt with lots of marital issues. I believe that there is really no such thing as the “perfect marriage” as we were led to believe many years ago in books and tv shows etc. Marriages and all types of couple relationships are all changing and moving forward as are the times we live in. Managing our time is becoming more and more difficult as we make leaps and bounds in technology and where we have the capability of getting any piece of information from anywhere within seconds. Technology can be a wonderful thing but we can become a bit overwhelmed with how many choices and activities we can take part in, while not even realizing that the person that we chose to spend our life with isn’t even close by where we are, or at least much farther away than they used to be.
Picture the following scenario. I see a person, let’s just say a female for argument’s sake, who loves plants of all kinds and she grows a garden full of beautiful, perky, brightly colored flowers. She waters the garden every day, pulls weeds, and even talks to it because she enjoys it so much. She does this day in and day out and the garden flourishes and gives back to her even more than she gives to it. Over time, she gets busier at work and falls behind with projects around the house and doesn’t have much time for her precious garden. One day she decides to go outside and sit with it and talk to it likes he used to. She is in complete shock and surprise when she finds the garden dry and withered, dull, and definitely not perky. She is shocked, but should she really be? I’m sure you get what this represents, but it happens so often in relationships. We spend lots of time choosing just the right person for us out of many choices out there to spend our valuable time with and we are so perky and excited in the beginning of the relationship. We do things together, talk to each other, listen to one another, and make the other feel special. Unfortunately, as time goes by, many of us get into the same routine, normalcy sets in and after a while we find ourselves bored or neglected or just not connecting like we used to. What’s the difference from the beginning of the relationship to when the monotony set in---putting in the same effort that was put in at the beginning is simply not put in anymore, or very much less, anyway. I believe that a worthwhile relationship deserves a worthwhile effort every day, but that’s not the whole answer, obviously. The work starts with paying attention to details and finding again, what makes the other feel heard, feel validated, as well as what makes the other feel annoyed, ignored, or even taken for granted. With open communication, couples can find new ways to meld and to satisfy each one’s need to be heard and cared about, just to name a few. If these negative things are happening within your relationship, then change needs to happen with the way you are doing things because if you continue to do things the same way, then don’t expect improvement.
I can help with valuable tools, exercises, different treatment modalities, while supporting you and guiding you through the process. Facilitation is important here because there is more control of the environment and there is help for each person to approach each matter without being interrupted or arguing in a way that nobody gets heard. Each person will get heard here and we will learn effective ways to control unproductive conflict so that the process of learning and healing can be fostered.
I respect anyone who is willing to reach out and try to find solutions, it takes courage and I admire that. There is no judgment here and anything shared here is safe to share. I look forward to meeting you!
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Family conflicts
- Coping with life changes
Trauma and abuse , Grief , Intimacy-related issues , Parenting issues , Anger management , Self esteem , Career difficulties , Bipolar disorder , Abandonment , Attachment Issues , Blended Family Issues , Body Image , Codependency , Commitment Issues , Communication Problems , Control Issues , Coping with Natural or Human-Caused Disaster , Divorce and Separation , Emptiness , Family of Origin Issues , Family Problems , Forgiveness , Guilt and Shame , Hoarding , Jealousy , Life Purpose , Mood Disorders , Obsessions, Compulsions, and OCD , Personality Disorders , Self-Love , Social Anxiety and Phobia , Women's Issues , Young Adult Issues Read more...
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Client-Centered Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), Existential Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy
LPC #14701 (Expires: 2022-04-30)
Deborah saved my marriage and my life. She is one of the best people that I have had the privilege to talk to. She really analyzed the situation and used her expertise to affect positive change in me and my wife. Love her like family
Deborah is awesome. She is very easy to talk to and very patient but firm.
Listens really well and takes an interest in our problems and finding resolutions. It's really given us a lot of hope and I feel like real progress is being made. We've had other therapists in the past, but Deborah is absolutely amazing!
Deborah is a clinician who jumps in and gets quickly to the heart of the matter. I really appreciate her approach of problem solving.
I am really comfortable talking with Deborah. She is quick to understand what I’m trying to explain, and she is very caring and supportive.
Deborah has been fantastic. She is understanding and stands a neutral ground which is extremely effective in the marriage counseling setting. After just a few sessions we are feeling optimistic and hopeful that our marriage will continue.
Debra has been great so far
I selected Deborah for marriage counseling in a crisis situation. She is highly engaged and insightful. We expected to cycle through a number of professionals before finding a match. We are very fortunate to have been matched with her for our first session. We will schedule couple and individual sessions with her for the foreseeable future.